"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girl was interested until I asked for her contact

Dam44

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So yesterday I saw the WhatsApp status update of a girl I once asked for her contact. I had forgotten about her till I saw her update

Here's a quick history on her

I met her for the first time about a week before Christmas. I was going for a dinner off campus and she was leaving campus too. Then we got into the same taxi

I'm not experienced with girls but I made sure I spoke to her. I found her attractive plus she was sitting next to me.

I didn't ask for her number but I got her name and department(We are in the same faculty so finding her wouldn't be too difficult) before we went our separate ways so I could find her later.

I never saw her again until about a month later in January. I was studying in a lecture hall at night and she was there too.(I didn't recognize her)

I took a break and was talking to a guy outside who happened to know her too. She came over and talked to me. I told her I know we've met but I don't really remember where. She explained how we met and all.

After the brief talk, I noticed she was so trying to get my attention, stealing glances at me and walking close to me and walking off. It felt like she was trying to hang around me

So I asked for number after others were busy doing something else. it wasn't too smooth to be honest, I heard a few cracks in my voice.

I got the contact. Texted her the next day. But from that moment, it seemed like her interest got cooled down gradually. Nothing happened between us. (others factors came into play though)

And I'm sure she was attracted at first. I could just sense it

I'm just curious, is there something I did wrong? Why did her interest fall after I got her contact. What do you do when you meet a girl with high interest


Sorry for the long read

PS: She's shy, she doesn't maintain eye contact. She looks down when you look into her eye and bows her head slightly when greeting you. I don't know why but I find these attractive.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BackInTheGame78

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Pretty common for this type of thing to happen. Honestly it's not worth concerning yourself with the why.

Could be she has a boyfriend, could be she likes someone else more, could be she felt attracted to you where you met her and then felt differently when you messaged, could be your messages are lame, etc.

Take the energy you are putting into this and use it towards other women.
 

Dam44

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True, the why is probably changing nothing.

About other women, I'm waiting for school to resume so I can meet new girls.
All the girls in my life currently, it's either I'm uninterested in them or nothing has happened between us. Also, I only go after girls that catch my eye
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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RangerMIke

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With most women their natural default behavior is to be flirty and friendly. The only way to know for sure where you REALLY stand is to try and make something happen.... If she pushes back, you have your answer. It's a win-win...

Women are always fishing. If she reals one in she doesn't like, she'll toss it back. Normal chick behavior.
 

redskinsfan92

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most women are flirty and friendly to your phase. Easier to reject you the way she did. Hard to look someone in the eye and say no.
 

Dam44

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With most women their natural default behavior is to be flirty and friendly. The only way to know for sure where you REALLY stand is to try and make something happen.... If she pushes back, you have your answer. It's a win-win...

Women are always fishing. If she reals one in she doesn't like, she'll toss it back. Normal chick behavior.
Well explained!
 

Dam44

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most women are flirty and friendly to your phase. Easier to reject you the way she did. Hard to look someone in the eye and say no.
Yeah, they're less confrontational
Mens default habit is to over exaggerate interest. Next time wait longer to text. 1 day says chase hard.
Another option is to give her a card and be professional tell her you would like to see her again and leave it that.

We are entering a weird phase of privacy online tracking bs and overall OLD type hangover.
You avoid the awkward feeling of asking for personal info and you put the pursuit in her court were it should be.
Hmm, maybe I exaggerated a bit but it was there. Nice advice
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dam44

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Women flirt for social validation, which is actually a survival strategy, not a strategy to actually seduce you. If she wanted to do that, she would have given you an opportunity to be physically alone with her. It’s a physical game. What the hell is a phone number? That’s nothing. Friends in her circles have her phone number too.
True, it's what happens through the number that's important
 

derby1

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I don't think it was just an assumption. This one was different
attention is more important than love in her world, most women ain't looking to meet, theyre looking for you to ask them out!

Ive had women ask multiple questions about my daughter( i thought wow high interest here)

as soon as i asked them out theyve ghosted me

they were purely baiting me so they could hear me ask them out

there touched in the head
 

nismo-4

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Second place is first loser.

She's shy? Shy my ass! Would you be shy if you got asked out on a date with Shakira and Katy Perry? Hell no, and she wouldn't be shy if Tom Brady, Idris Elba, Dwayne Johnson, or Elon Musk asked her out.

So all she wants you for is a beta orbiter. Be this or useless to her. She doesn't see you as alpha.
 

Dam44

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attention is more important than love in her world, most women ain't looking to meet, theyre looking for you to ask them out!

Ive had women ask multiple questions about my daughter( i thought wow high interest here)

as soon as i asked them out theyve ghosted me

they were purely baiting me so they could hear me ask them out

there touched in the head
Wow! Is there a way to filter these ones out from girls that are really interested or you just go for it and see what happens
 

Dam44

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Second place is first loser.

She's shy? Shy my ass! Would you be shy if you got asked out on a date with Shakira and Katy Perry? Hell no, and she wouldn't be shy if Tom Brady, Idris Elba, Dwayne Johnson, or Elon Musk asked her out.

So all she wants you for is a beta orbiter. Be this or useless to her. She doesn't see you as alpha.
I would definitely go for it. I think I prefer being useless to her.
Thanks
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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derby1

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Wow! Is there a way to filter these ones out from girls that are really interested or you just go for it and see what happens
yes dont let them rinse you of non secsual attention,3-4 messages here and there(no more)

then ask out within a reasonable time frame. any wishy washy replies ...Leave her on read reciept
 

Dam44

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yes dont let them rinse you of non secsual attention,3-4 messages here and there(no more)

then ask out within a reasonable time frame. any wishy washy replies ...Leave her on read reciept
Thank you!
 

Dam44

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Thank you. Does the getting you alone with her necessarily have to be something sexual? What about like asking to go with her to a nearby place where sex obviously won't happen
Yeah there is a way. It’s called a woman asking you to be alone with her. That’s the only true form of female seduction that I’ve ever experience. None of that eye contact or flirting means anything until she tries to isolate you for sex.

Guys need to forget about how to seduce women and focus on how women seduce MEN. Plausible deniability - an excuse to be alone like Netflix and chill. That’s the number 1 universal female move to seduce you. If she isn’t doing that, there’s nothing going on. She’s just wasting your time and you’re too dumb to realize it.

I wait for the day sosuave graduates from being the pursuers to the ones being pursued. Right now it’s about 5% of the posters.
 
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