"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girl that works near me

K

KillShot

Don Juan
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There is this girl that works upstairs at another company from mine. She often cuts through mine to get to her work and has smiled at me on many occasions, Ive usually been to busy with customers as I'm in sales. I've said hi to her a few times as she was leaving but nothing much, because Ive been to busy. Any ideas on how to approach this girl, because I do need to purchase something from the company she works for soon. She is in somewhat easy access to talk to assuming she is working when I am. But I want to build attraction, thats my main thing, I can talk to girls but I get friend zoned fast. need help.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Isko

Don Juan
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Getting friend zoned is... well I've never heard a girl say "I like you as a friend only." Girls are either interested in me romantically or not at all. And I think it's like that with all guys. All male/female relationships are sexual at the core. And I'm not great looking. I used to THINK I was in the friend zone, but then I took the risk of escalating. Held her hand, kissed her, etc.

My point is... If she's smiling at you, she's probably attracted to you already. You should talk to her like a normal person. You don't need to build attraction; you need to not LOSE the attraction that she already has for you. The way you lose attraction is by going into the situation thinking about how you can make her attracted to you. She either IS or she ISN'T. And you have no way to make her more attracted to you... Just like it would be hard for her to make you more attracted to her. You might be interested, but you would hardly care if she had a super interesting life or whatever. However, if she was to talk to you and stutter and be super shy and act with zero self-confidence, then you'd think something is wrong with her... You'd think that she wasn't good enough for you after all.

So... just be confident. You're good enough for her. That means that you should just talk to her, and invite her to hang out. You can say anything to her. You can say you think she's cute and you think you might want her in your life. You just have to say it confidently.

The only way to find out whether she's attracted to you is to assume that she is, and just do what you'd do if she was attracted to you. That's called confidence.
 
K

KillShot

Don Juan
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Right on, appreciate the advice, any other posters have trouble with my situation?
 
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