Girl suggests we have first date at expensive club/bar

[QuadDeuces]

I'm supposed to meet this 24 yo hottie tomorrow.
She suggests a place here in Amsterdam and a quick glance at the menu online shows the prices are not for the faint hearted. (standard cup of coffee 9eu)

I'm thinking about cancelling, I don't even want to suggest a cheaper place and be accused of being tight azz on money.

How to proceed?

 

[lizardking82]

You pay the money THEREFORE you decide where you go. Do not be afraid to suggest another, cheaper place and if you get accused of being a tight ass, you're being accused by a gold digger and trust me man, even she's good at sex... not worth it. I mean, why spend what looks like it will be a hefty bill on a gold digger when you can splash 40/50 euros on a hooker and not even think about sex then?

 

[Juanto]

Only do it on your terms

 

[QuadDeuces]

You pay the money THEREFORE you decide where you go. Do not be afraid to suggest another, cheaper place and if you get accused of being a tight ass, you're being accused by a gold digger and trust me man, even she's good at sex... not worth it. I mean, why spend what looks like it will be a hefty bill on a gold digger when you can splash 40/50 euros on a hooker and not even think about sex then?

The fact she even suggests this place, already kind of turns me off a little bit to be honest.

 

[AlphaNate]

The fact she even suggests this place, already kind of turns me off a little bit to be honest.

100% agree.

If you want to pursue, do it on your terms, and do it with caution. If she doesn't submit to your terms, move on immediately.

 

[bigneil]

I'm supposed to meet this 24 yo hottie tomorrow.
She suggests a place here in Amsterdam and a quick glance at the menu online shows the prices are not for the faint hearted. (standard cup of coffee 9eu)

I'm thinking about cancelling, I don't even want to suggest a cheaper place and be accused of being tight azz on money.

How to proceed?

You're in a city where a man can have sex with a 10 for 100 Euro and you are too cheap to pay 9 for coffee? And you're concerned about looking cheap to her as you tell the whole world? Do you realize the NSA just changed the color of your logo due to this revelation of yours? You can't undo that.

You can't have it both ways. You can't have girls asking you out in a city where sex is cheap and have it be free.

Cancel. She's too good for you. Get a job.

 

[narcissist]

Cancel? Why the **** would you cancel?

Don't be afraid of her. counteroffer with a cheaper place. The worst that can happen is she says no. The best that can happen is she says yes and you smash. Cancelling on the date puts you automatically in the "no sex" category. Come on now. Do we genuinely give a sh1t what this broad thinks?

 

[sazc]

Just tell her

"I prefer X place instead, so let's meet there at sameTime o'clock"

That's it. Nothing complicated about it.

 

[Reykhel]

I'm supposed to meet this 24 yo hottie tomorrow.
She suggests a place here in Amsterdam and a quick glance at the menu online shows the prices are not for the faint hearted. (standard cup of coffee 9eu)

I'm thinking about cancelling, I don't even want to suggest a cheaper place and be accused of being tight azz on money.

How to proceed?

Never let the woman set the frame like that......especially true for "first meets/dates"

You are the man, you lead.

Money issue aside, you've got to ask yourself "Am I a guest in her world or is she a guest in my world"

Hint: You want her to be a guest in your world.

This seems to be a frame grab, whatever maybe her motives......I wouldn't say she's necessarily a gold digger.....she could well have
her own cash or she could well be a big spender (in debt, carefree with money)..........there's only one way to find.

I'd be more concerned about the frame here. It's a frame grab and you've accepted her frame.

I'd invite her to another place (of equal value) and see what her reaction is. If she won't budge she's more interested in the venue than you. The few dollars spent will be worth it if you investigate her motives and play the game thus sharpening your skills.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Go to the club. Make her pay for everything.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Cancel. She's too good for you. Get a job.

Stop offering bad advice.

OP this is simple. You tough it out and show up. It's a coffee date. Even if it's an expensive coffee date, it's still cheap. You will come off as weak for bitching about this.

On the next date, take the lead and invite her to a place of your choosing. She must play ball. Don't allow her to take command in the future.

Remember gents, women always expect more. If you start off at expensive places, your anniversary dinner will have to be the most expensive in town (or even... in a different city). Your wedding ring will have to be expensive. Your house will have to be expensive. Once the pattern is established, you can't go back. Curtail her expectations early.

 

[wifehunter]

Sure, no problem!...show up at the pickup with chocolates and flowers, too!!!

 

[Chamber36]

What's the venue called?

For coffee I'd say go to Scandinavian Embassy man if you wanna change the venue. Heard it has like a world champion on coffeemaking working there. #2 best coffeemaker in the world or so lol.

The place isn't important. What's important is that you let her know how you feel. If you don't like the place tell her "Why u bringing me to this expensive ass place?".

So I'd just go to the place, but, if it annoys you, let her know and tell her next time it'll be another place.

 

[Skyline]

"I've been there before, I don't really like their 'y.' Let's go to 'x' because their 'y' is better."

A nice subtle way to not go there.

 

[devilkingx2]

People like Starbucks even though it's not exactly a cheap place to go, so its totally possible that she just likes the coffee place innocently

I'm with all the people saying that you shouldn't be going on expensive dates with girls you haven't banged, ask her if you can take her to a another place (cheaper place you know has good coffee)

 

[Who Dares Win]

Even considering to go to an expensive place with a girl that gave you nothing yet (not even bother to fake interest) is dangerous and Im not talking about your finances only.

I mean I dont know how it works there but traditionally its the guy who pays therefore if she demands to go in an expensive place what she basically communicates is "my value is so higher than yours that you have to balance with your money".

Thanks but no we all know the outocomes of an interaction with a girl who thinks she is in a higher league than yours.

 

[QuadDeuces]

update, a weird cange of circumstances I hooked up with a 36 yo 7/10 Tinder date last saturday who I told to meet where and when (after reading this thread reminding me to lead her in my frame, thanks guys) and she invited me home for drinks after 45 minutes into the date lol she was on the period so we didnt go further than kisses and half naked tussles on the bed but had a good night anyway will see her again. Last sunday I flaked on the 24 yo a few hours before the date with a lame excuse and that Id contact her later.
She was pissed I stood up to her.
No fvcks given though.
It just didnt feel right to meet a girl for the first time in an expensive place like that. The date was planned at 8pm so past coffee time. If she would have started to order c0cktails at 25 a pop and almost a guarantee for no pvssy, I thought it would not be worth the scene to pay the bill.
I had already lost frame by hesitantly agreeing to go to that place in the first place before I opened this thread, so I couldnt reframe anymore.

 

[Solomon]

"I've been there before, I don't really like their 'y.' Let's go to 'x' because their 'y' is better."

A nice subtle way to not go there.

*Thumbs UP*

 

[Juanto]

It just didnt feel right to meet a girl for the first time in an expensive place like that. The date was planned at 8pm so past coffee time

Smart man.

 

[Roober]

How did she even suggest the place? The man always makes the date, especially a first date.

I wouldn't next this chick just because of that, maybe she just wants to try this place and hasn't been before? Maybe she has been there and absolutely loves it. Maybe she has the funds and isn't worried about the price? I would say suggest somewhere else if your not comfortable with paying that.

Why are you going for coffee on a first date? Can you have sex and escalate properly over coffee?
Also, first dates are short, so paying 9 euro x 2 is only 18 euro, not too bad for a first date.. in my opinion