Girl mentioned rape on first date! Should I run away ASAP?

[mrgoodstuff]

I dated or banged this hotty for a while.. After around 3 weeks she begins to tell me that as a child (age 7-8) she was sexualy abused by a family member over the span of maybe 8 years.

She went as far as to tell me, because of the abuse her insides got messed up & she can't have kids.. She had scars on her arms from self harming when she was a teen.

Later in her life as a young hot girl, she got involved with nude modeling, stripping, and maybe even soft porn.

Also was an occasional cocaine user.. She told me all this stuff very early of me seeing her.. It's sad what happened to her, however these woman are DAMAGED beyond repair.

And they are often BDP.. So I dumped & got the F out of there!

Telling seriously sensitive bits very early is a sign of the pain still being intense from whatever it was, thus it's the top thing on her mind and it comes out of her mouth easily. So at least it signals that the trauma is still in her, because if had died down she wouldn't be so willing to share it.

 

[Lookatu]

I considered maybe just having a couple hookups withher as she is attractive.. but at the end of the day, it’s not worth sticking it into crazy.

I mean, there’s a chance she could throw rape accusations at me in revenge
in the weeks/months down the line if she decides she wants to get serious and I don’t. I mean she’s already saying she feels a strong connection/trust with me.. next month it could be marriage/baby talk.

Or if you're like me, no girl is worth getting your ride vandalized for.

 

[RickPound]

Or if you're like me, no girl is worth getting your ride vandalized for.

Dang, that’s a cool color of orange though

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Or if you're like me, no girl is worth getting your ride vandalized for.

Just use game mane and demote her to plate status

 

[Machine10033]

I had a girl call me once to tell me her life story. Girl was a 10... probably the only reason I didn’t run.

2 sexual assaults were in that story

A drunken hookup in Vegas with another chick was in that story.

She wanted to bang bad... so got a nice hotel room half way between our houses.. she goes into the bathroom.. comes out in lingerie... tells me she doesn’t want me wearing a condom... asks me when the last time I had sex was or took care of myself ... now my spider senses are tingling.

Asks if I can c*m inside her?? I say ummm no.... she starts begging.... I take out a condom she loses her mind... literally starts screaming in the hotel room. I start to get my stuff before they call the cops and she is calling me every name under the sun... screaming and crying hysterically!!!!! I’m now in full fight or flight mode... get up... she throws herself in my path trying to leave... I pick her up and toss her onto the bed. Bolt out the door... she’s literally running after me... I get into my car and peel out...

If a girl mentioned rape.. sexual assault run.... run fast... ghost.... don’t end up in a hotel like me... running for your life from a bpd psycho !!!

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Run OP. Girls today always play for sympathy this way. Ever notice how every girl you meet these days seems to magically have a toxic ex? It’s a cruddy thing to do and the only way to stop it is to not give her the benefit of the doubt, because 9/10 times she’s lying for sympathy. If you don’t want to hurt her feelings, tell her that you don’t really want to give emotional counseling and that you don’t want to get mixed up in that sort of stuff right now. Maybe if you’re lucky this will even discourage her from playing the “harassed/raped/mistreated” little girl card in the future.

 

[Chamber36]

This is a very tricky subject because she genuinely could have been raped before she broke up with the last boyfriend and therefore deserves the full load of sympathy for such a violation. However, without the benefit of the boyfriend’s side of the story we therefore are left looking at one side of the coin.

I will therefore evaluate this based on the half information on the table as well as my personal hunch.

Rape is such a brutally life-changing and humiliating event that it takes a very long time to recover from, if at all one ever recovers. Most victims of rape struggle to recount their traumatic experience with trusted loved ones, never mind a male stranger on a date. Even after fully recovering, rape victims dont disclose that part of their past to a potential boyfriend until the relationship has developed enough to the point where adequate trust has been built. This hesitancy is largely out of fear of being viewed as damaged goods and mentally heavily scarred.

With that said, why would this girl share such sensitive personal info with a stranger - a prospective lover for that matter? That strikes me as quite odd. Either she is too trusting or too reckless with sensitive info - both are red flags.

The other angle is that she could have falsely accused the guy of rape to punish him for something and terminate the relationship. Women do this all the time and many men’s lives have been ruined by such pyschos, because the law always believes the woman. What if this girl did this to an innocent man, explaining why she is so ready to share her victimhood prematurely with strangers for sympathy? Its a possibility that cant be completely dismissed, in the absence of both sides of the story. A girl like this could potentially be dangerous to you because she could cry rape again and drop you in the sh!t.

Man, just trust your gut on this one

You just dissected that like Da Vinci in high school. I was gonna say she could indeed pull a fast one on OP but you analysed all angles there. Even if it was legit rape, the fact she is sharing that is a major red flag.

Props.

Does remind me of the girl who told me about how her mom abused her though... I always hate to imagine the workings of a solipsistic mind especially when they have been through things, but even a victim might give themselves some kind of unique identity as in "only I know what true suffering is", meaning they would be willing to harass/torture you mentally endlessly as well, seeing as you won't ever understand true suffering anyway. Not only that: the fact they went through these things will cause them to see themselves as damaged goods and thus undeserving of unconditional love, subsequently she will endlessly imbue the relationship with her doubts, need constant reassurance, never be satisfied by your proclamations and perpetually be waiting for the relationship to fall apart.

How's that for an analysis?

 

[SirBigBell]

You just dissected that like Da Vinci in high school. I was gonna say she could indeed pull a fast one on OP but you analysed all angles there. Even if it was legit rape, the fact she is sharing that is a major red flag.

Props.

Does remind me of the girl who told me about how her mom abused her though... I always hate to imagine the workings of a solipsistic mind especially when they have been through things, but even a victim might give themselves some kind of unique identity as in "only I know what true suffering is", meaning they would be willing to harass/torture you mentally endlessly as well, seeing as you won't ever understand true suffering anyway. Not only that: the fact they went through these things will cause them to see themselves as damaged goods and thus undeserving of unconditional love, subsequently she will endlessly imbue the relationship with her doubts, need constant reassurance, never be satisfied by your proclamations and perpetually be waiting for the relationship to fall apart.

How's that for an analysis?

You’re on the money there bro; spot on.
Being with someone who owns their victimhood is in some cases equivalent to perpetual emotional babysitting. It is energy-sapping!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So I went on a date with this girl I been chatting to off a dating app for about a week or so.
We met for coffee and went to the park for a walk and talk.

She says to me that she feels safe and comfortable around me and it’s taken her quite a while to feel this way as her ex boyfriend raped her 3 years ago just before they broke up and she’s been single since.

I have heard people on some forums mention along the lines of:
“if a girl mentions she has been raped in the past very early on when you are dating her, it’s a huge red flag and you should stop seeing her ASAP”
Or
“If a girl mentions she has been raped in the past very early on its 99% likely she is lying for sympathy/to control the guy/to be the centre of attention.

Is there any truth to any of this or is it just people trolling?
what bad stuff would ensue if I dated a girl like this long term?

Run.

I am not **** Tracy. Women lie. Huge red flag. If true it's a red flag especially if she has no therapy and dude is not punished assuming it happened not false allegations.

 

[BadBoy89]

I agree. But I'll make it simple: The reason you should eject has nothing to do with whether she was raped or not. It has to do with her telling a total stranger on the first date that she was raped (whether it happened or not). THAT is the red flag.

What date should she tell him?

Would you date a girl who has been raped?

 

[derby1]

Would you date a girl who has been raped?

no theyre always low hanging fruit themselves, every time.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

What date should she tell him?

Well, when would you tell a girl that your dad beat you? Or that you and your ex had an abortion? Or any other very, very personal and traumatic experiences? These things are not subjects you just throw out there on dates. Dates should be playful and fun and about enjoying each other, not getting into heavy psychological trauma. That's not normal or healthy behavior. It's oversharing of a specific type and it's usually done by people who have a lot of issues, one of which is maintaining a victim identity, and also being HIGH DRAMA. They tend to be negative and look for the worst in everything and complain a lot. You WILL end up the target of her complaints.

Would you date a girl who has been raped?

Yes I would.

 

[BadBoy89]

Well, when would you tell a girl that your dad beat you?

I would and I have. But not the dad, the mom.

As long you don’t expect sympathy or say it seriously, I think its fine, The only issue is doesn’t put the parents in a positive light. But I would say it.

Or that you and your ex had an abortion? Or any other very, very personal and traumatic experiences? These things are not subjects you just throw out there on dates.

You can throw ANYTHING out, as long as you don’t throw it out seriously or expect anything in return. I’ve told girls “my mom beat us daily, what are you having for dessert?”

It depends how you say it. You can’t say “my parents beat me, can you shed a tear?” That won’t work.

Dates should be playful and fun and about enjoying each other, not getting into heavy psychological trauma. That's not normal or healthy behavior. It's oversharing of a specific type and it's usually done by people who have a lot of issues, one of which is maintaining a victim identity, and also being HIGH DRAMA. They tend to be negative and look for the worst in everything and complain a lot. You WILL end up the target of her complaints.

The other side of the coin is: if you say it and also maintain and good and fun atmosphere, she could think “wow, how strong is this guy. He has had so much abuse and drama in his life and he is still so smooth. I’m in love.”

 

[TheProspect]

The other side of the coin is: if you say it and also maintain and good and fun atmosphere, she could think “wow, how strong is this guy. He has had so much abuse and drama in his life and he is still so smooth. I’m in love.”

I don't think one's past trauma should be strategically revealed with the intention of producing a desired effect in a girl's perception of them lol

It's one thing to reveal a bit about your past once a girl's gotten to know you a little a bit, and asks a question that naturally brings up that subject, but it's another thing to purposely go out of your way to inject it into the conversation as a manipulation tactic (especially early on such as a first or second date)...

And that's exactly our point, except flipped genders.

 

[bat soup]

One of the things that I love about first dates is the opportunity to hear about other people's childhood traumas and psychological problems. It really gets me in the mood.

 

[Murk]

Well, when would you tell a girl that your dad beat you? Or that you and your ex had an abortion? Or any other very, very personal and traumatic experiences?

After a year minimum together or possibly never.

Go to therapy to work **** out don't dump and offload onto people.

Girls like this are not even worth the bang.

 

[DanGreen]

I’m glad I listened to your advice guys! I blocked her number and decided to run far away.

One of my friends said he dated a girl like her that said early on she had been raped at a young age by one of her relatives. She also said the “I feel a strong connection andtrust you” really early on.

She went proper crazy and started making up lies about his ex physically attacking her and threatening her on social media as well as making up a fake pregnancy.

Just before he ended the relationship, she FaceTimed him on a Sunday morning in tears after a girls night out.
She claimed some guy bent her over on the dancefloor whilst she was steaming drunk and stuck his **** inside her..
Clearly she knew what he was doing it and she liked it!

She said she was wasted and when he stuck his **** inside her from behind on the dancefloor she froze up and let him do it..


I said to him she’s already created drama and make up lies in the past (fake pregnancy/pretending an ex is threatening her) so it’s pretty obvious this rape on the dancefloor was sex she wanted.

 

[logicallefty]

When women have sex with a man and enjoy it, it was sex.

When women have sex with a man and don’t enjoy it, it never happened.

When women have sex with a man and are flat out disgusted, it’s called rape.

 

[Lookatu]

@logicallefty Is that a new avatar? I just noticed it more in detail now. Nice bro.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I’m glad I listened to your advice guys! I blocked her number and decided to run far away.

One of my friends said he dated a girl like her that said early on she had been raped at a young age by one of her relatives. She also said the “I feel a strong connection andtrust you” really early on.

She went proper crazy and started making up lies about his ex physically attacking her and threatening her on social media as well as making up a fake pregnancy.

Just before he ended the relationship, she FaceTimed him on a Sunday morning in tears after a girls night out.
She claimed some guy bent her over on the dancefloor whilst she was steaming drunk and stuck his **** inside her..
Clearly she knew what he was doing it and she liked it!

She said she was wasted and when he stuck his **** inside her from behind on the dancefloor she froze up and let him do it..


I said to him she’s already created drama and make up lies in the past (fake pregnancy/pretending an ex is threatening her) so it’s pretty obvious this rape on the dancefloor was sex she wanted.

Nothing like public dance floor sex in front of 100s of people. That's how it's done!