Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Girl mentioned rape on first date! Should I run away ASAP?

DanGreen

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
18
Reaction score
15
Age
35
So I went on a date with this girl I been chatting to off a dating app for about a week or so.
We met for coffee and went to the park for a walk and talk.

She says to me that she feels safe and comfortable around me and it’s taken her quite a while to feel this way as her ex boyfriend raped her 3 years ago just before they broke up and she’s been single since.

I have heard people on some forums mention along the lines of:
“if a girl mentions she has been raped in the past very early on when you are dating her, it’s a huge red flag and you should stop seeing her ASAP”
Or
“If a girl mentions she has been raped in the past very early on its 99% likely she is lying for sympathy/to control the guy/to be the centre of attention.

Is there any truth to any of this or is it just people trolling?
what bad stuff would ensue if I dated a girl like this long term?
 
Last edited:

SirBigBell

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
298
Reaction score
568
This is a very tricky subject because she genuinely could have been raped before she broke up with the last boyfriend and therefore deserves the full load of sympathy for such a violation. However, without the benefit of the boyfriend’s side of the story we therefore are left looking at one side of the coin.

I will therefore evaluate this based on the half information on the table as well as my personal hunch.

Rape is such a brutally life-changing and humiliating event that it takes a very long time to recover from, if at all one ever recovers. Most victims of rape struggle to recount their traumatic experience with trusted loved ones, never mind a male stranger on a date. Even after fully recovering, rape victims dont disclose that part of their past to a potential boyfriend until the relationship has developed enough to the point where adequate trust has been built. This hesitancy is largely out of fear of being viewed as damaged goods and mentally heavily scarred.

With that said, why would this girl share such sensitive personal info with a stranger - a prospective lover for that matter? That strikes me as quite odd. Either she is too trusting or too reckless with sensitive info - both are red flags.

The other angle is that she could have falsely accused the guy of rape to punish him for something and terminate the relationship. Women do this all the time and many men’s lives have been ruined by such pyschos, because the law always believes the woman. What if this girl did this to an innocent man, explaining why she is so ready to share her victimhood prematurely with strangers for sympathy? Its a possibility that cant be completely dismissed, in the absence of both sides of the story. A girl like this could potentially be dangerous to you because she could cry rape again and drop you in the sh!t.

Man, just trust your gut on this one
 

TheProspect

Moderator
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Messages
684
Reaction score
1,281
Is there any truth to any of this or is it just people trolling?
There is some truth to this.

In my experience, girls who voluntarily bring up past traumatic experiences on the first date are emotionally broken and are to be avoided at all costs. Dates should be fun, not therapy sessions for the woman.

This chick doesn't even know you (you've talked to her online for only a week) and she claims on your first date with her that she feels safe and comfortable around you already considering she's been raped before... Wtf?

what bad stuff would ensue if I dated a girl like this long term?
@SirBigBell just did a great job of touching on everything.

Basically, in any event, the fact she has mentioned this to you on the first date without even really knowing you is a red flag no matter how you look at it.

It's sh!tty if she was actually raped but that's not your problem. You're dating because you're looking for fun and compatibility, not to heal someone's trauma.

Eject.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,203
Reaction score
2,174
Age
45
This is a very tricky subject because she genuinely could have been raped before she broke up with the last boyfriend and therefore deserves the full load of sympathy for such a violation
I agree. But I'll make it simple: The reason you should eject has nothing to do with whether she was raped or not. It has to do with her telling a total stranger on the first date that she was raped (whether it happened or not). THAT is the red flag.

Oops, looks like Prospect replied while I was typing this and said all I was going to say.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
3,231
Reaction score
2,735
That’s called oversharing and is a classic tactic used by BPD women to get you hooked. They’re playing on your sympathy. If she’s telling you this on the FIRST date, you caught a live one. Took mine 4 dates at least and she was loony as they get.
 

SargeMaximus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
426
Reaction score
187
Age
33
My ex said she had been raped before. I imagine it happens to women unfortunately. I took the sympathetic and understanding route with her. I believed she was earnest.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
561
Reaction score
721
In cases like this, I agree with the other senior members that OP should just trust his guts. Personal advices are almost pointless for cases like this.

Personally, I think only girls with fvcked up mind bring rape subject on 1st date.
 

SargeMaximus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
426
Reaction score
187
Age
33
In cases like this, I agree with the other senior members that OP should just trust his guts. Personal advices are almost pointless for cases like this.

Personally, I think only girls with fvcked up mind bring rape subject on 1st date.
Every girl has a fvcked up mind. Maybe the girl was just being real with him. Sometimes I think pua makes men assume women are malicious but they aren’t they are just different
 

Hank Moody

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
1,506
Reaction score
1,558
Location
The Surface
Every girl has a fvcked up mind. Maybe the girl was just being real with him. Sometimes I think pua makes men assume women are malicious but they aren’t they are just different
But you don't tell a guy on the first date that you've been raped in the past, if you don't have an ulterior motive.

This is a classic case of a chick playing the 'damsel in distress' card.
 

SargeMaximus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
426
Reaction score
187
Age
33
But you don't tell a guy on the first date that you've been raped in the past, if you don't have an ulterior motive.

This is a classic case of a chick playing the 'damsel in distress' card.
Maybe. It’s not like you have to give her monetary things.
 

Pan87

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
1,114
Reaction score
1,811
Age
33
This is a very tricky subject because she genuinely could have been raped before she broke up with the last boyfriend and therefore deserves the full load of sympathy for such a violation. However, without the benefit of the boyfriend’s side of the story we therefore are left looking at one side of the coin.

I will therefore evaluate this based on the half information on the table as well as my personal hunch.

Rape is such a brutally life-changing and humiliating event that it takes a very long time to recover from, if at all one ever recovers. Most victims of rape struggle to recount their traumatic experience with trusted loved ones, never mind a male stranger on a date. Even after fully recovering, rape victims dont disclose that part of their past to a potential boyfriend until the relationship has developed enough to the point where adequate trust has been built. This hesitancy is largely out of fear of being viewed as damaged goods and mentally heavily scarred.

With that said, why would this girl share such sensitive personal info with a stranger - a prospective lover for that matter? That strikes me as quite odd. Either she is too trusting or too reckless with sensitive info - both are red flags.

The other angle is that she could have falsely accused the guy of rape to punish him for something and terminate the relationship. Women do this all the time and many men’s lives have been ruined by such pyschos, because the law always believes the woman. What if this girl did this to an innocent man, explaining why she is so ready to share her victimhood prematurely with strangers for sympathy? Its a possibility that cant be completely dismissed, in the absence of both sides of the story. A girl like this could potentially be dangerous to you because she could cry rape again and drop you in the sh!t.

Man, just trust your gut on this one
I really don't know about this. It's pretty well known that women typically orgasm when they are raped, and then have to get counselling to try and understand why they had an orgasm while enduring such a horrible experience. The therapist will say something like "it's the female body's way of protecting itself from trauma" or something.

The terrible thing about rape is it taps straight into our primal caveman past when literally all sex was rape. Rape is basically Caveman Game. Watch a nature documentary and you'll see how animals have sex - there's no such thing as consent.

I'd be ejecting because she's been alpha widowed by the experience. You'll never be able to compete with her rapist, who will be haunting her subconscious forever.

Rapists should be forced to marry their rape victims because the woman is now ruined for all future men by Caveman Chad.
 

SirBigBell

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
298
Reaction score
568
I really don't know about this. It's pretty well known that women typically orgasm when they are raped, and then have to get counselling to try and understand why they had an orgasm while enduring such a horrible experience. The therapist will say something like "it's the female body's way of protecting itself from trauma" or something.

The terrible thing about rape is it taps straight into our primal caveman past when literally all sex was rape. Rape is basically Caveman Game. Watch a nature documentary and you'll see how animals have sex - there's no such thing as consent.

I'd be ejecting because she's been alpha widowed by the experience. You'll never be able to compete with her rapist, who will be haunting her subconscious forever.

Rapists should be forced to marry their rape victims because the woman is now ruined for all future men by Caveman Chad.
Hahaha Pan!
“Rape is Caveman Game” lol. That made me chuckle dude
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

DanGreen

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
18
Reaction score
15
Age
35
I asked her if she told the police about the rape and she said
“He got away with it, police didn’t do anything as just after he raped me, he moved out of the UK to Italy
 

Hank Moody

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
1,506
Reaction score
1,558
Location
The Surface
I asked her if she told the police about the rape and she said
“He got away with it, police didn’t do anything as just after he raped me, he moved out of the UK to Italy
You already started down the rabbit hole with this girl?

Abort. Abort.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
3,881
Reaction score
2,745
I dated or banged this hotty for a while.. After around 3 weeks she begins to tell me that as a child (age 7-8) she was sexualy abused by a family member over the span of maybe 8 years.

She went as far as to tell me, because of the abuse her insides got messed up & she can't have kids.. She had scars on her arms from self harming when she was a teen.

Later in her life as a young hot girl, she got involved with nude modeling, stripping, and maybe even soft porn.

Also was an occasional cocaine user.. She told me all this stuff very early of me seeing her.. It's sad what happened to her, however these woman are DAMAGED beyond repair.

And they are often BDP.. So I dumped & got the F out of there!
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
2,017
Reaction score
1,865
Age
38
Every-woman who comes through my uncles counselling service, who claims any kind of D.V/Rape is Covert Trash. who loved every minute of it. some of which are hot women

You will pay for a weekend vacation in a 4 star Hotel thinking she appreciates it ,

meanwhile she will be plotting how she can pick The felon up from prison, and chill in his dusty 1 bedroom apartment in Handsworth UK.

she i now his, till the end of time, hence why its all she talks about
 

DanGreen

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
18
Reaction score
15
Age
35
You already started down the rabbit hole with this girl?

Abort. Abort.
I was just curious to see what her response was..Honestly sounds like a lie as I’m pretty sure the police wouldn’t just let a rapist go just because he moved to another country. Then again I’m not an expert on the law.
 
Top