"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girl is in a relationship but doesn't tell me

FunkyMillion

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I envited this girl to a date three weeks ago but she was "busy" then I found out today through 'research' that she has a boyfriend. I just don't get why she couldn't just tell me that she is in a relationship so I could've moved on two weeks ago. After all those times of trying to get in contact with her was a waste of time.

That should be a lesson... don't waste your time pursuing a girl when she turns you down the first time you ask her out. NEXT her right away.

Funk...out.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Le Parisien

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I feel you man, the same kind of thing happened to me some time back...:mad:
If you do a research on my old topics...

Some people are just plain selfish, they don't mind stringing people along, guess that's just life.

That should be a lesson... don't waste your time pursuing a girl when she turns you down the first time you ask her out. NEXT her right away.
But don't go extreme because of this unfirtunate "incident" though...
Just be more "wary" next time.

In my personal case, this kind of thing made me more "laid back" and less "enthusiast" right away now. Even if a girl shows big interest immediately, I still "wait" to see if it's really genuine and there's no hidden complications such as a boyfriend or something like this.
Most of the time, the girl DOES like you, but she's happier having the boyfriend AND YOUR ATTENTION.

Four of my personal experiences:

1) We know each other for a couple of months, we see each other on and off, but purely on a semi-official context: a language club. Over the time, something developped and I was thinking about going for more. She seemed ok with it but some times would be "busy". (I don't assume automatically that people are liars, they always have ONE chance). When I find out through a mutual friend (actually more her friend than mine) that she has a boyfriend, I was pissed. Didn't cut all contact, but it became pretty cold...

2) Some girl I met through the musical I was doing. Britney Spears wanna be type. Showing too "early" all the signs of interest, turned out to be a fraud, actuallyhas a boyfriend and her boyfriend started to ignore her for some reason so she was probably looking for compensation. Same as the first one, relationship became cold after I found out.

3) A girl I liked who also liked me. Sometimes seems interested, sometimes totally not. Looks like she was undecided. Never lied to me about a long distance boyfriend, but never mentioned it either, I learned through other people.
Because of previous experience, I said to myself "no no". Eventually she broke up with the nerdy boyfriend but our relationship is so complicated and looked more like a friendship that I didn't even bother.

4) A real gorgeous and kind of shy girl who came talk to me on the bus for a school event. Had a boyfriend who looked kinda like a abusive thuggish dude. This one was genuine. She sure wanted to drop the boyfriend. But due to social circumstances that would be too long to explain here, I couldn't get to interact with her except a few very brief exchanges in the school dining hall.

:D
 
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flexion_

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Yes your mistake was waiting around for 2 weeks.
 

ScrewIt

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I find that if a girl is genuinely interested in you, she'll tell you. Not immediately. But probably after a few dates about the bf.
Because they know that you'll wind up resenting them for hiding the truth...you cant hide it forever.
 

StringShredder

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Originally posted by FunkyMillion
I envited this girl to a date three weeks ago but she was "busy" then I found out today through 'research' that she has a boyfriend. I just don't get why she couldn't just tell me that she is in a relationship so I could've moved on two weeks ago. After all those times of trying to get in contact with her was a waste of time.

That should be a lesson... don't waste your time pursuing a girl when she turns you down the first time you ask her out. NEXT her right away.

Funk...out.
Any number of reasons! One, she has no intention of ditching her boyfriend, but just likes torturing people. So she won't pull the boyfriend card as the reason she is turning a guy down. She wants the interested guy to wonder what is going on, keep trying a little bit and suffer, feeling bad about himself.

Another possibility: she doesn't want it widely known that she has a boyfriend. Maybe she's not that firm about him, and will ditch him if a better opportunity comes along. If she tells you she has a boyfriend, you might tell other guys and so on. That could discourage some of these guys from hitting on her. Sounds like you had to do a bit of detective work to find out about that BF.

Think about it. Suppose a guy that she IS interested in asked her out. She'd probably also not tell him that she has a boyfriend, just like she didn't tell you. Except that she'd also say yes to going out.

She's just consistent with the misinformation that she puts out, whether she is interested in you or not. It's a good strategy. People talk, right? When they talk, they easily discover that a certain person puts out conflicting information and is therefore lying half the time. (it doesn't matter which half!!!) If the information is consistent, they have to do detective work to find out that it's false.

It's a DJ thing to do: shut your mouth about having a girlfriend (or two, or three) already, whether you're talking to that HB9 or that HB6.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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FunkyMillion

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Yeah, I see what you all are saying... When I talked to her on the phone she seemed to be pretty nice. I'm guessing, the reason why she didn't have the nerve to say that she is in a relationship is because she didn't want to turn me down and/or reject me.

So I learned a lesson that when girls are not being reciprocating in the first attemp of asking her out, you should NEXT her right away. Don't even waste your time playing that psychic game or psychiatrist game of trying to figure out why she isn't returning your phone calls or why she's always busy. Spend your valuable time sarging another girl.

Funk...and I'm out
 

Warlord

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Originally posted by FunkyMillion

So I learned a lesson that when girls are not being reciprocating in the first attemp of asking her out, you should NEXT her right away. Don't even waste your time playing that psychic game or psychiatrist game of trying to figure out why she isn't returning your phone calls or why she's always busy. Spend your valuable time sarging another girl.
FunkyMillion, Welcome to the beginning path of becoming a true DJ. Listen to your brain not your heart when it comes to relationship matters.
 
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