"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Girl is DTF, But... social group

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bob2007

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Girl is down for it. I'm not interested in anything other than that with her.
So I will say , I don't want a relationship.

But... we are part of a social group that plays volleyball. I will want to hit on girls there after the deed.

How to proceed? Or just do it, and see what happens. She may or may not be already banging other guys at vball.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bokanovsky

Bokanovsky

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If you bang her, other girls in the group will know. Guaranteed. And if she's less attractive than the other girls in the group, it will ruin your chances with the other girls. Conversely, if she's hotter, you will become more popular.
 
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skinnyguy

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Bokanovsky said:
If you bang her, other girls in the group will know. Guaranteed. And if she's less attractive than the other girls in the group, it will ruin your chances with the other girls. Conversely, if she's hotter, you will become more popular.
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Not necessarily true. Even if she isn't as hot, it might make the other women attracted to him. Because they'll think "why didn't he fvck me instead of her?"
 
Bokanovsky

Bokanovsky

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skinnyguy said:
Not necessarily true. Even if she isn't as hot, it might make the other women attracted to him. Because they'll think "why didn't he fvck me instead of her?"
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Because she's easy. No big mystery there.

It's the same dynamic you'd observe on a club dance floor. If you're seen dancing with a fatty, your social value goes down. If you're seen dancing with a hottie, you can go up to any other chick afterwards and she'll want to dance with you.
 
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bob2007

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Bokanovsky said:
Because she's easy. No big mystery there.

It's the same dynamic you'd observe on a club dance floor. If you're seen dancing with a fatty, your social value goes down. If you're seen dancing with a hottie, you can go up to any other chick afterwards and she'll want to dance with you.
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It usually could go both ways but, in this case. She will be clingy... and make it obvious to everyone. Already does... and we're not dating.

And the secondary problem is, I already dated another girl from vball who was hot. This is like my only social group atm Toronto.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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