"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl invites me over for a movie and then......

Meisterman

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So this girl who's been hitting me up every day for the past week to chill asks if I want to come over Friday night (yesterday) to "watch a movie or something." She suggests I come to her place and says we can just watch it on her laptop. So like any sane guy, I was expecting she was wanting to hook up or have sex. That's what every thing I read anywhere and everywhere told me would be happening. So I was all pumped up, prepped, and ready to go. Then literally 10 minutes before she was telling me I was good to come over she texts me saying "I have a friend from class over too, is that okay?" So I'm like umm yeah sure. And I get there and sure enough it's some other dude. Apparently they were already chilling from earlier when they had to work on some **** for class. So us 3 chilled and listened to music for like 6 hours (srs) and drank some beers. I'm 99.9% sure they aren't hooking up at all. The dude seemed kinda gay, and there was no sexual vibe going on whatsoever. Then literally around sunrise she gets tired and passes out and I go back to my place (which is right next door since we are apartment neighbors) to do the same. And this was like an hour ago from now literally.

But like wtf? I thought if girls asking you to watch a movie with her on Friday night alone it's implied that she wants action? Could it seriously be she literally just wants to "watch a movie" and nothing else? Am I that out of touch? Like I was 99% sure this was going down. Now I'm questioning everything I thought I knew including the stuff I've read on here. Help me out guys.



Edit: Okay it was more like 4 hours but I know I should've left earlier you don't have to keep telling me that. I'm more focused on what to do now when she hits me up in the future & if I should totally just drop it. And remember she lives right next door
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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VladPatton

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Nothing is concrete when dealing with people. Chicks will do whatever the phuck they want. Next time just split early or flake on her.

I don't even know how you'd get out of that situation beforehand without being douchey. It sucks s fat one when girls pull sh!t like that on you.
 

LMFAO

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Since your place is next door anyway you should have said no and told her to come to your place to watch the movie. At worst if you saw nothing was going to happen after a couple of hours though, you could have told her you're tired and gone home, she would have got the message loud and clear.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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christoff522

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Probably the guy was being a creep or something, she invited you over to ensure she didn't get raped or murdered. She did put you in a difficult position there though.
 

mangotot

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6 hours is way too long. You should have left after 3 as a maximum.
 

Meisterman

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Ok guys it was actually more like 4 hours because I didn't get there till almost 1 and left at 5; and I know I guess I stuck it out longer just to see where it was going because I thought the other dude would leave but he didn't. But it looks by general consensus that I wasn't in the wrong for expecting some action. And trust me I'm pissed at myself for staying as long as I did I guess I just thought there's no possible way she literally invited me over for a movie with her friend. Anyways I don't want to play those games I learn from my mistakes and move on.

I guess the best thing to do now is just no contact and move on? Also what if she invites me over again for more "movie nights" should I just decline from the get go?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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stevo

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Have you done any kind of kino with this chic? or sent naughty text msgs? if the girl doesnt see you as a seks potential then you cant blame her now, can you?

Everything you read is correct, your assumption was correct however you forgot that you need ground work to accomplish the expectation. As soon as you heard there's someone else there you know it's a friendzone trap and should have declined.

Going forward, kino and ef the babe dude! We dont chill and watch movies except if its after seks and youre trying to catch your breath for the next round.
 

Meisterman

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stevo said:
Have you done any kind of kino with this chic? or sent naughty text msgs? if the girl doesnt see you as a seks potential then you cant blame her now, can you?

Everything you read is correct, your assumption was correct however you forgot that you need ground work to accomplish the expectation. As soon as you heard there's someone else there you know it's a friendzone trap and should have declined.

Going forward, kino and ef the babe dude! We dont chill and watch movies except if its after seks and youre trying to catch your breath for the next round.
No I haven't sent naughty texts I've read it's best to just text to plan dates and my minimal texting definitely made her chase more as she was hitting me up almost every day. Some kino but I've only known her for a week and we really hadn't had any privacy together yet so I figured that's what the whole purpose of this "movie night" was. She has made comments like when I was driving in the car with her she asked if she could have a sip of my water bottle that was in between my lap and I'm like "sure go ahead" and then she says "it's on your crotch so I don't wanna reach for it....well not in the car at least" and then laughs. Also she was asking about a music artist that I know and she's like "omg you know him? No way....if you seriously know him I'd give you the ultimate reward." Wtf is that supposed to mean other than sex?

She texted me around 8 saying "Do you want to watch a movie or something later tonight?" Then around 11 she said "I'll be ready in about an hour" then she texted me if I'm ready in 5 minutes and I said Yeah. And THATS when she told me her friend was over. So there was really no way to avoid the situation at that point without coming across as a douche and needless to say I was shocked when I actually got there I'm like "she can't be serious." I should have left earlier but we were all still drinking and she was offering me alc. left and right I figured it had to be leading somewhere. But nope the dude never left and that was it. I'm fukin pissed about it.
 

stevo

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I understand what you mean bro especially with it being a first timer. I had similar situation as a first timer thats why now at any point even if I'm right infront of her door, if i know there's someone else in there:

For a girl i havent fcuked i'll tell her some other time.

For a girl i have ef'd, i'll confirm if its a girl in there (possible 3some) but if its a dude same thing ''some other time''. BECAUSE almost nothing would happen especially if you didn't get a specific ''come ef me'' text!

You can fcuk this girl bro, you really could. You just have to make your seksual intentions known by your actions and tease. When she needs that late night you gan be her drive thru ;)
 

Meisterman

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Yeah she texted me just a little while ago "Hey sorry I passed out while you n Ben (the other dude) were chillin. I got a tad over tired and drunk." No words for this. Lol
 

mangotot

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You should have escalated on front on the other guy, after all he is a chump and does not matter what he thinks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Huffman

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What counts is that you went and had a bad time. And stayed.

You could have done a number of things:
- Declined in the first place
- Had lots of fun just chilling. If possible. Even though you kinda failed the sh!t test, if you show you're having a BLAST then you're still very attractive.
- Be really bold and make a move with the other guy around.
- A: he's lame and awkward: just ignore him
- B: he's nasty/aggressive/views you as competition: if you can't shut him down then better leave
- C: he's a normal, cool guy. Share some beers, hang out, and then go for the girl. He will understand and stay out of your way.
 

dasein

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She digs you. Didn't want to make it obvious though, and wanted to feel you out because you live near her. It's understandable, the last thing they want is to be trapped by some freak next door who won't leave them alone. Just ask her out or over or whatever, but know that this runs both ways. Make sure she isn't a bunny boiler before sex.
 
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