"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Girl I'm Interested in...

Jerky Boi

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Well, there's this girl that I've known for a while at school. (Since about 8th grade). I used to talk to her a lot in J/h but now it's just casual conversation online or just an occasional Hi in the hallway. A few days ago it finally hit me that I actually do like this girl so I've been trying to talk to her more and start conversation at school, but I don't see her very often. I'm thinking about asking her to do something this weekend. My town's not all that big, so there isn't much to do. She works at a bowling alley as well, so I don't think she'd be into doing that. What I'm asking is if any of you have any advice on if you think it's safe asking her now, and where do you think a good first date would be?

Oh yea, my friend was talking to her today and she informed him that she was single but she liked some other guy but im not sure if he likes her. She said he was older. I still wanna try though. I'm 100% past the fear of rejection..
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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RaMar

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if you were 100% past the fear of rejection then you wouldn't be asking this question or saying things like "think it's safe asking her now."

Anyways yeah, just because you first meet a girl in junior high and now your 17 doesn't mean that you can't date her. Plus according to your post you two have never been anything more then distant friends.

As with any first date, the movies or dinner is always a good option. There are lots of posts on good first dates. Look in the bible for them.

The fact that she's into another guy is natural. Everyone has a crush on at least one person throughout their entire life. But since your past the fear of rejection this shouldn't bother you at all.
 

Jerky Boi

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Thanks for the advice RaMar. To explain what I said earlier, even though I'm past the fear of rejection, I still want to make sure I go about this right. This has had to have been the worst year I've had with girls in my entire life. No joke. I'm also new to these forums as well and have just discovered this site. Any other suggestions would be appreciated.
 

RaMar

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sorry to hear that. I find that this stuff gets easier as I get older :-/.
 

Garbury

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If you're looking for good ideas for first dates lemme try and help.
my last first date was to get ice cream and go mini golfing. It was good because you have time to talk and see how things are going and think about how you feel about her and maybe feel her vibes. Then, the golf gives you more time to talk while doing an activity so theres never a dry spot in action or convo. You can use kino, c/f, anythign you want as its an open environment. It's also relatively cheap too, so u won't waste money if there isn't a second date. I'd recommend not doing anything where you can't talk (movies) much because you don't really get to know much about them or see how they react to you. Try the ice cream and mini golf though, it worked for me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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