Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
bruceartest24 said:You are completely right and it's stupid for me to ignore the signs. I went out to a friends birthday party at a lounge and got 3 girls numbers and took 1 home. I honestly care for her and would never do this but she crossed the line and it actually made me feel better and a huge ego boost.
Jaylan said:^ Dump first. Don't stoop to her level, nor provide her with ammo to drag your name thorough the mid. At least that's how I see it.
apprenticedj said:I second Jaylan on this one Bruce, don't be spiteful. This is obviously a big issue for you so sit her down and tell her you don't approve of her behavior and end it. You don't owe her anything but you don't want to sacrifice your integrity because you're hurt. No need for tit for tat.
TheException said:If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.
TheException said:OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
Jaylan said:The point is, why stoop to her level and be a hypocrite?
Why not dump her and go screw other women after, rather than cheating while staying in the relationship. Its just potential for more drama. And though Im all for OP dumping the girl, if he cheated before she even did anything with this other guy, then he looks like the idiot here.
Always have some integrity and dump first. At least thats how I see it. I dont see the intelligence in accusing a girl of something, then stooping to that behavior myself.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I haven't but I began to distance myself and I think she got the message. She started to try to talk to me, send selfies, and kiss and heart emojis.asa_don said:have you dumped her yet?
bruceartest24 said:She started to try to talk to me, send selfies, and kiss and heart emojis.
Told her I'm hanging with friends and she even saw a few new girls start to message me and like my photos.
As of now I'm going to enjoy myself if she wants to hang with a 40 year old I'm going to hang with more chicks and not be stressed.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Appreciate it. I just see it as her loss, its been 2 days (longest we haven't spoken to each other) and I feel great. Been talking to other girls, getting nudes, setting up dates.Danger said:Great job Bruce.
You had the balls to do what needed to be done. The first step towards having the proper attitude in life is to always respect yourself first.
Voice said:Hey bruceartest24, not that this matters because you made the right decision, but do you know if they fvcked/kissed/anything?
TheException said:If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.
OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
What do you have to say about this Exception? Are you going to admit you were wrong? Are you going to admit that girlfriends hanging out with other men leads to cheating?bruceartest24 said:Update****
She was talking business on twitter DM with a guy she didnt know was my friend and told him her boyfriend was ***(40 year old dude). He sent me screen shot.
Meanwhile she was texting me that she misses me and can't wait to see me. I told her:
It's best if we don't talk anymore, she goes why? Can you elaborate? I'm like I don't think it's fair to your boyfriend, good luck with everything.
She goes "lol alright see ya"
That was yesterday and it felt good to have the other options available after that gut feeling. Thanks to everyone for advice and feedback. Don't trust any females.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
you weren't wrong, you just got a bad one. at least you found out about it now. i bet she's using the other guy for $bruceartest24 said:Funny thing is I wanted to be serious with her and saw long term potential. Was I wrong or what? Lol.
I decided that relationships aren't for me going to live a George clooney esque life style and just date multiple women. It's easier and wont have to worry about caring too much or getting hurt.
Really appreciate everyone's input and advice getting me through this.
No wrong with being serious, but in this day an age you need screen throughly, and you need to be willing to walk at the first sign disrespect.bruceartest24 said:Funny thing is I wanted to be serious with her and saw long term potential. Was I wrong or what? Lol.
I decided that relationships aren't for me going to live a George clooney esque life style and just date multiple women. It's easier and wont have to worry about caring too much or getting hurt.
Really appreciate everyone's input and advice getting me through this.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.