That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
bruceartest24 said:You are completely right and it's stupid for me to ignore the signs. I went out to a friends birthday party at a lounge and got 3 girls numbers and took 1 home. I honestly care for her and would never do this but she crossed the line and it actually made me feel better and a huge ego boost.
Jaylan said:^ Dump first. Don't stoop to her level, nor provide her with ammo to drag your name thorough the mid. At least that's how I see it.
apprenticedj said:I second Jaylan on this one Bruce, don't be spiteful. This is obviously a big issue for you so sit her down and tell her you don't approve of her behavior and end it. You don't owe her anything but you don't want to sacrifice your integrity because you're hurt. No need for tit for tat.
TheException said:If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.
TheException said:OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
Jaylan said:The point is, why stoop to her level and be a hypocrite?
Why not dump her and go screw other women after, rather than cheating while staying in the relationship. Its just potential for more drama. And though Im all for OP dumping the girl, if he cheated before she even did anything with this other guy, then he looks like the idiot here.
Always have some integrity and dump first. At least thats how I see it. I dont see the intelligence in accusing a girl of something, then stooping to that behavior myself.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I haven't but I began to distance myself and I think she got the message. She started to try to talk to me, send selfies, and kiss and heart emojis.asa_don said:have you dumped her yet?
bruceartest24 said:She started to try to talk to me, send selfies, and kiss and heart emojis.
Told her I'm hanging with friends and she even saw a few new girls start to message me and like my photos.
As of now I'm going to enjoy myself if she wants to hang with a 40 year old I'm going to hang with more chicks and not be stressed.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Appreciate it. I just see it as her loss, its been 2 days (longest we haven't spoken to each other) and I feel great. Been talking to other girls, getting nudes, setting up dates.Danger said:Great job Bruce.
You had the balls to do what needed to be done. The first step towards having the proper attitude in life is to always respect yourself first.
Voice said:Hey bruceartest24, not that this matters because you made the right decision, but do you know if they fvcked/kissed/anything?
TheException said:If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.
OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
What do you have to say about this Exception? Are you going to admit you were wrong? Are you going to admit that girlfriends hanging out with other men leads to cheating?bruceartest24 said:Update****
She was talking business on twitter DM with a guy she didnt know was my friend and told him her boyfriend was ***(40 year old dude). He sent me screen shot.
Meanwhile she was texting me that she misses me and can't wait to see me. I told her:
It's best if we don't talk anymore, she goes why? Can you elaborate? I'm like I don't think it's fair to your boyfriend, good luck with everything.
She goes "lol alright see ya"
That was yesterday and it felt good to have the other options available after that gut feeling. Thanks to everyone for advice and feedback. Don't trust any females.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
you weren't wrong, you just got a bad one. at least you found out about it now. i bet she's using the other guy for $bruceartest24 said:Funny thing is I wanted to be serious with her and saw long term potential. Was I wrong or what? Lol.
I decided that relationships aren't for me going to live a George clooney esque life style and just date multiple women. It's easier and wont have to worry about caring too much or getting hurt.
Really appreciate everyone's input and advice getting me through this.
No wrong with being serious, but in this day an age you need screen throughly, and you need to be willing to walk at the first sign disrespect.bruceartest24 said:Funny thing is I wanted to be serious with her and saw long term potential. Was I wrong or what? Lol.
I decided that relationships aren't for me going to live a George clooney esque life style and just date multiple women. It's easier and wont have to worry about caring too much or getting hurt.
Really appreciate everyone's input and advice getting me through this.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.