"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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girl i just want to be friends with benifits

stackup

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Theres this girl that really likes me, and I like her too, but she's really not my type. She's pretty cool and all I want from this is a good friendship with benefits. This is kind of hard to do though since I met her through my other friends that go to school(college) with her and she hangs out with them too. Now if it was any other girl I would hit it and quit it, but I can't do this with this one since I would see her again cuz she likes to hang out with my other friends. She's already kissed me and she's also bought clothes for my daughter which was kind of crazy... I'm not looking for a LTR, and it seems like she is, how can I go about showing her I just want to be her friend with benefits?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

DarkShade

Senior Don Juan
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Make it well known you aren't interested in an LTR. If she's still hanging around after that, giving you kino, she may understand.

Or you could just be completely honest and tell her your thoughts. I highly doubt she'd cut off a friendship because of that.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Just be honest with her. Tell her what you want. No, not you wanna put your beef in her taco! Say you would rather just be friends with benefits.
 

WC2

Master Don Juan
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You can't have your cake and eat it as well (well, most the time). You want her to still be friends with you but you want to use her just for sex? Most of the times this doesn't really work. When men have Fbuddies, they aren't usually "friends" with them. It's more like they are leading them on to think that if they keep the sex up, there will be something down the road (which is of course false).

If you don't want to hurt this girl, then there's really no hope for benefits. It's black and white here. You need to decide whether you care if this girl is hurt or not.
 

Sandow

Master Don Juan
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i wouldnt tell her that you just want to be friends with benefits. It'll make her look like a slut/easy. So she'll just deny you. You have to make it known through your actions.

First you guys have to keep hooking up, but be distant and don't try to get too close. Don't always call her, sometimes (like on the weekends) just do your own thing. And then on Sunday invite her over. By you being very indenpendent, she'll get the clue that your not a relationship kind of guy, yet she's still attracted to you.

However (depending on the girl) "a friends with benefits" cannot last forever. At one point she'll bring up the dreaded talk, "so what are we?" You just gotta reinforce her that you guys get a long great and that you would never wanna lose her. Unfortunately she'll be forced to make an ultimatum, commit or walk away. Things will end between you guys, but thats when you go out sarging again and find a new one :D
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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