"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Girl I don't know that well takes pictures of me in the bar, sends them to friends

GreatHornedOwl

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This has happened on a couple of occasions. I tend to get pretty drunk, and this girl has seen me a few times around town, and takes pictures of me (without my knowledge) and sends them to my friends. Now, I don't know what her reasoning is, and I'd rather not have that conversation with her. Any ideas on what's going on here? I'd rather not have my friends (who are also co-workers) knowing what I'm doing when I'm not at work. I also don't want to make this into a bigger deal than it is.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mrgoodstuff

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This has happened on a couple of occasions. I tend to get pretty drunk, and this girl has seen me a few times around town, and takes pictures of me (without my knowledge) and sends them to my friends. Now, I don't know what her reasoning is, and I'd rather not have that conversation with her. Any ideas on what's going on here? I'd rather not have my friends (who are also co-workers) knowing what I'm doing when I'm not at work. I also don't want to make this into a bigger deal than it is.
Your "friends" have someone snooping for what?
 

backseatjuan

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Next time you see her, come sit next her and ask straight up why u sending my pics ti my friends?

whatever she says

This happens again, I’m gonna sit at a bar with an alibi and your head is going to be broken.

p.s next to her, not in front of her, proximity, put your arm around her neck.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Lynx nkaf

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This has happened on a couple of occasions. I tend to get pretty drunk, and this girl has seen me a few times around town, and takes pictures of me (without my knowledge) and sends them to my friends. Now, I don't know what her reasoning is, and I'd rather not have that conversation with her. Any ideas on what's going on here? I'd rather not have my friends (who are also co-workers) knowing what I'm doing when I'm not at work. I also don't want to make this into a bigger deal than it is.
You need to get that phone.
Do an improv move like 'mistakenly spilling a drink' so she drops the phone then point over her shoulder like something weird is happening over there somewhere.

She could be taking many guys pictures or just yours.

She'll probably have several apps open and logged in so you'll get her identity/personal info you can use and pattern of postings.

If its a camera, you need the evidence so pull the same kind of improv to get your hands on the camera to get that SD memory card out.

You need evidence she's doing this.

At the very least videorecord her doing this.
If you have the means, buy some hidden bodycam or hidden object cam to record her.

After you get some evidence,
then directly confront her.
 

Tilex

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Could be the FBI or could be a Private Detective
Could be someone that's trying to blackmail you.
Have you done anything illegal in the last 5 years?
You should find out if you're being followed.
Pay attention to your rear view mirror.
 

GreatHornedOwl

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And you know I have a drinking problem, how? Because I get drunk? Do you know how often? Frequency? Whether I drive, or not? Is this causing problems in my life? I don't think you have the answer to any of these questions, so I'm not sure how you can just make an assumption like that because I said I've gotten drunk in a bar.

I'm glad you feel more important about yourself by saying that, though.
 

mrgoodstuff

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And you know I have a drinking problem, how? Because I get drunk? Do you know how often? Frequency? Whether I drive, or not? Is this causing problems in my life? I don't think you have the answer to any of these questions, so I'm not sure how you can just make an assumption like that because I said I've gotten drunk in a bar.

I'm glad you feel more important about yourself by saying that, though.
Its alot of folks in that bar huh? Probably other high performers in their careers and Endeavors.
 

mrgoodstuff

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From your original post " I tend to get pretty drunk"

"is this causing problems in my life?" - I'd say yes, yes it is. People are following you around taking pictures of you drunk. Is that your employer documenting? Yes, I would say it is causing problems.


I don't feel more important at all, just trying to help you. FYI, I completely quit drinking 10 years ago, because it was a serious serious problem Life has been 100x better since.
Your coworkers are not your friends.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I used to do this, so many pictures... People used to enjoy when i posted them to social media... No compromising ones though
 

mrgoodstuff

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What kind of job do you have? What title/position do you have? I agree with "Who Dares Win", speak with the police and see what your rights are in such a situation. That your company is accepting the pics gives you a sh1t ton of leverage in the fair employment practices types of scenarios which are enforceable by EEOC: https://www.eeoc.gov/settlement-standards-and-procedures, https://www.zuckermanlaw.com/glass-...ployment-discrimination-and-retaliation-case/, https://www.forensicnotes.com/eeoc-settlements/. Call the EEOC as well to see if your situation is enforceable. Those cases go up to millions of dollars with a small pay out being nearly $100k...

Get proof that those images are shared. Email trails, screenshots, pics with your phone of the phone chats.
 
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bat soup

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This has happened on a couple of occasions. I tend to get pretty drunk, and this girl has seen me a few times around town, and takes pictures of me (without my knowledge) and sends them to my friends. Now, I don't know what her reasoning is, and I'd rather not have that conversation with her. Any ideas on what's going on here? I'd rather not have my friends (who are also co-workers) knowing what I'm doing when I'm not at work. I also don't want to make this into a bigger deal than it is.
Go up to her and ask her if she wants to bang.
 

GreatHornedOwl

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So I was asking a few co-workers today who the pics were sent to, on why she would be doing this, and the one co-worker she sent it to has picked me up a few times from the bar when I've been too drunk to walk home. She knows him pretty well, and I think she was letting him know that maybe I needed a ride home. He said she wasn't trying to be malicious.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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evansblue

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I knew there was more to the story. This girl knows your friends. How drunk are you getting that someone who doesn't even know you that well is texting your friends telling them what bar you're at because you need a babysitter?
 

mrgoodstuff

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I knew there was more to the story. This girl knows your friends. How drunk are you getting that someone who doesn't even know you that well is texting your friends telling them what bar you're at because you need a babysitter?
Knows his coworkers. Which are associates.
 
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