"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
girl I dated sent me pics of her and another guy...what's it mean?
- Thread starter brekke
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It sounds to me like this girl's IL is obviously quite high if she's willing to put up with the disrespectful behavior you've given her (you might consider it "your style" but, in my eyes, the things you've said and sent to her are disrespectful). Yes, she's basically telling you "please give me your attention" with the messages she's given you.
Now, if you're still interested in pursuing this girl, I would tone down the "a-holeness" a tad. It has obviously worked for you with this girl so I would keep doing the same, just scale it back a bit.
Now, this isn't a diss on you (you do what you gotta do) but more for the other readers. This isn't a quality girl (low self-esteem). She might be good for FWB but not for a LTR (well, at least if you want to good LTR
)Last_straw
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2010
- Messages
- 85
- Reaction score
- 4
I agree there. A girl with high self-esteem would realize she's being disrespected and tell you off.vatoloco said:This isn't a quality girl (low self-esteem). She might be good for FWB but not for a LTR (well, at least if you want to good LTR
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Girls only bail if their interest drops past a certain point. If a girls IL is high she will stick around, no matter what else you do.brekke said:
I think the long and short of it is that your ratio of showing interest vs. playing games ways wayyy too skewed towards the latter. Any girl with half a wit about her will eventually get tired of the games (esp. if you haven't shown her enough benefits of sticking around) , even if her way of leaving seems "retarded" as you put it
I think this is the simple case where she doesn't have nearly enough invested emotionally to put up with whatever it was you were trying to do. Remember, push-pull pretty much always works, but being a d*** to her 24/7 will ultimately end in failure unless you legitimately got something going for you ($$, fame, etc.)
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 283
- Reaction score
- 6
You call her a slvt/wh0re/etc for telling you about dudes she talks to or whatever, but you tell her about all your sexual encounters, and wonder if she's fvcking with you?
Think about that. You're being more of a slvt than she is, so then why are you even trippin on this?
I do not think guys can be sluts. I'll just ignore her and see if she can do the same.2crudedudes said:
I am a dumb*ss though. It's like every time I get a little close to a girl, I end up destroying it. I don't act like a jerk on purpose, it's just how I am.
Her last message.
This is from today. Someone with experience, please help me.
Is she like really emotional? Is there any way to reply to this crap?jesus christ, you just don't get it.
"you can not be honest or straightforward" + "you really are stupid" = jerk. I'm good at math!
this is just a joke. you are just some weird guy who likes to bug other people.
congratulations, you have succeeded!
I did not **** him! you are the one who obviously enjoys being with a lot of girls and then tells me all about it. it's been very interesting. really.
I don't have time for this anymore. you're right - our "dancing" days are over and out.
bye XXX. I don't believe in you, btw. and I don't believe in god either.
***
I do not need any advice anymore. This girl is totally deranged. What the hell is wrong with
people like this? I will just put this up so you can see this psycho's mental progression.
I kind of hate her now. I lied about my name when we met, and told her after a month I guess.so now is everything hip hip hooray again? now i'm not a selfish wh*re anymore who does stupid things?
if someone is being superficial, it's you. you only like me for how I look. that's strange.
if i overlook all the jerky ways you have acted, you seem like you could be a nice guy after all. you probably are! just a shame that i haven't seen that much of that side of you.
(i'm not a wh*re. i'm not a slut. and i'm not stupid. just for your information)
i dont believe in you at all. you're probably lying about almost everything. you started our entire "relationship" with lying. not a good start, huh?
what does --------- mean, btw? probably something mean about me. wouldn't surprise me.
i would like to continue this relationship on a platonic basis, without some stupid pictures of me naked AND without you calling me different things. deal or no deal?
it's raining here.
Before I got mad at her, she was going to let me take some naked pictures to prove she cares about me. Not worth it at this point anyway.
This would have all been fine, except the thing I do not get is the "platonic" part. Why the hell would she even want that? She knows I do not want that too. Talk about a waste of time.
Is any of this stuff sh!t testing? Or is it just insanity?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
You're obviously not posting YOUR half of the messages and probably with good reason. Whatever she's doing, she's reacting to what YOU are telling her, and since we can't see that since you haven't posted it, what do you want us to say?
To agree with you?
And if it's a waste of time, then it's also partly your fault.
It's been a month or so. You've both been wasting each other's time.
wasted-nick
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2010
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 2
For her to be contacting you is an indication that she has low standards and does not value quality people.brekke said:
It seems like a good match; give her a call...
3countriesPlan
Master Don Juan
hahahah ya I take the pics and girls get all shy and want them erasedLast_straw said:wonder if I could get away with that? My camera always makes this damn loud "click" sound when you take a pic, lol. Wouldn't want that to spoil the mood.
Me: Why don't you suck my **** baby?
Her: Ok
*CLICK*
Her: What the fvck was that?
Me: Nothing
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
wasted-nick
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2010
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 2
Sorry about that, just re-read what I posted and see how you may have taken offense to it. I guess what I eas trying to say is that you sound like a douchebag.brekke said:
What kind of girl could she be to put up with that? Do you really think she's quality if she puts up with it?
Turn the tables, would you put up with that crap?
Korrupt
Banned
See, this is where you went wrong. You're supposed to send her a pic with THREE girls sucking your d*ck! Come on, man, everyone knows that!brekke said:oh, forgot to say that in my reply to her pics with the guy, I sent her a pic with two girls sucking my d*ck.