So here's the story, the girl I'm going for is interested in me, that I know. however she has not been that responsive to me recently. She has a guy friend that she hangs out w/ almost all the time since they have same classes n extracurricular activities. 2 years ago this guy tried to chase her but she had a boyfriend then so nothing happened between them n he was not interested in her anymore. However they still hang out a lot until now, probably as friend. The boyfriend of the girl probably got really jealous n went all AFC on her so she dumped him. So now after the breakup, the guy friend n that girl hang out even more n I can tell they have gotten very close. I can see that she gives him IOIs a lot, probably more than she gives me. However I just cannot fathom that if they have been friends for 2 years, anything is going to happen between them now. Right now I'm very jealous but still trying to keep it cool. Do u think she might have like the guy? I know that if he got into the friend zone then he would probably stay there, but she pays him a lot of attention n give a lot of IOIs. I'm just thinking that she might like him since he doesn't really care about her much n don't react to her **** test ever.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Girl has a very close friend
- Thread starter Avn_0903
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
doctorj
Don Juan
maybe she was attracted to him from the start, it's just that she had a bf before
This girl was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her boyfriend for this friend?! does that make sense to you?!Avn_0903 said:
What does your gut feeling say?! judging by your response you are feeling that something is in fact going on and you are probably right.
Don't hang your hopes and dreams for one girl. Always date several girls so that if one flakes, happen to cools on you, or in this case has another guy in the picture, you can always drop her in favour of another.
That guy friend of her turns out to be my very close friend. Should I just confront her about this? If she says she's interested in that guy then I'll kick her to the curb; but if not then I might still be able to continue since I have been ignoring her hardcore (just saying hi and then walk away) and i can see that she's really eager to talk to me (smile really brightly whenever I appear, making eye contact longer than normal).
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Don't confront the girl.Avn_0903 said:
If he is your friend, you should be able to talk to him about it.
If he is into her, you will have a decision to make whether you want to pursue knowing your friendship might be on the line, or let this girl go.
If you want to raise interest in the girl, start dating other girls.
Igetit!
Moderator
This seems like somewhat of a contradiction in terms.Avn_0903 said:
You say that from what you know,she's interested in you,however,she's been nonresponsive.
Well if she's been nonresponsive,what gives you the immpression that she likes you?
Another thing:You said...
Well,how long have you been "going for her"? And how are you going for her/trying to make her interested in you?Avn0903 said:
Avn0903 said:
So she hangs out with a guy a lot,has classes with him,and tried to date her two years ago. Tell me...
How do you know all this about this guy and her? How did you learn all this?
Avn0903 said:
I agree. If they've been around each other for 2 years and haven't dated yet,more than likely,it's a friendzone situation.
And you're mistaken about her giving him IOIs. I don't know what she's doing to give you that idea,but if they've been around each other for all that time and haven't even tried to date one another,those aren't IOIs you're seeing.
Should you confront her about what? What has she done?Avn0903 said:
You want to confront her because you feel jealous? Over a friendzone relationship?
Wow.
What I'm wondering is why you haven't ASKED HER OUT. If she's single,and is only friends with this guy,what's that got to do with YOU DATING HER?
You seem more preoccupied with her and him than her and YOU.
The title of this thread is "Girl has a very close FRIEND,not a boyfriend. If she's currently single,then she's probably just using this guy to fill needs that her boyfriend would fill if she had one.
That means once she find a guy she wants to date,she'll drop/drastically reduce the amount of time she spends with this guy.
She may flirt with him from time to time in order to keep him around in case things go sour with her boyfriend,but she has NO SEXUAL INTEREST in him.
I'd just stop worrying about this girl,and go all out to make her mine.
Confronting her will just make her feel attacked. If you create attraction in her,she'll naturally,willingly spend less time with this guy in order to spend more time with you.
No she's not "nonresponsive", she is, just that recently she hasn't been as responsive as before.Igetit! said:
A monthIgetit! said:
As I stated, he's one of my close friend, he told me about this girl 2 years agoIgetit! said:
I agree and they seem really close, without any kino lolIgetit! said:
Well for the past 2 years she has a boyfriend, she dumped him this summer 4 watever reason I dont know. This semester the guy friend n the girl just seem awfully close and everybody is suspecting that they r dating. The other day they went out to see a play with another couple, this might be double date? Her friend likes him so wat I am thinking is that his sexual value might have increased in her eyes (preselection from other females), n she might have gotten interedted in him.Igetit! said:
Nah I just wanna ask if she is interested in him, if she is then oh well, next.Igetit! said:
Well if it's really a friendship then I wouldn't worry but she usually pays him more attention to him than to me, knowing that I'm interested in her. There were several occasions that she completely ignored me and paid total attention to that guy. Looking at them have fun drove me crazy.Igetit! said:
I am trying to game her, but it seems that she doesn't really wanna go out w/ me alone, she has gotta ask her friends to come also. On that occasion I got pissed n told her that if she did not want to have the date then we should just forget about the whole thing but she insisted that she was interested in going out (but w/ more people of course) and seemed really eager for that "date".Igetit! said:
True, but since he's my very close friend n he said he's interested in her also (I just asked him the other day), I just want to know more about the situation.Igetit! said: