Girl has a very close friend

[Avn_0903]

So here's the story, the girl I'm going for is interested in me, that I know. however she has not been that responsive to me recently. She has a guy friend that she hangs out w/ almost all the time since they have same classes n extracurricular activities. 2 years ago this guy tried to chase her but she had a boyfriend then so nothing happened between them n he was not interested in her anymore. However they still hang out a lot until now, probably as friend. The boyfriend of the girl probably got really jealous n went all AFC on her so she dumped him. So now after the breakup, the guy friend n that girl hang out even more n I can tell they have gotten very close. I can see that she gives him IOIs a lot, probably more than she gives me. However I just cannot fathom that if they have been friends for 2 years, anything is going to happen between them now. Right now I'm very jealous but still trying to keep it cool. Do u think she might have like the guy? I know that if he got into the friend zone then he would probably stay there, but she pays him a lot of attention n give a lot of IOIs. I'm just thinking that she might like him since he doesn't really care about her much n don't react to her **** test ever.

 

[doctorj]

maybe she was attracted to him from the start, it's just that she had a bf before

 

[DJDamage]

The boyfriend of the girl probably got really jealous n went all AFC on her so she dumped him.

This girl was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her boyfriend for this friend?! does that make sense to you?!

What does your gut feeling say?! judging by your response you are feeling that something is in fact going on and you are probably right.

Don't hang your hopes and dreams for one girl. Always date several girls so that if one flakes, happen to cools on you, or in this case has another guy in the picture, you can always drop her in favour of another.

 

[zekko]

Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
Do you want a girl who places her "guy friend she hangs out with" above her boyfriend?
Do you want a girl who gives that guy more IOIs than she gives you?
Punt.

 

[Avn_0903]

That guy friend of her turns out to be my very close friend. Should I just confront her about this? If she says she's interested in that guy then I'll kick her to the curb; but if not then I might still be able to continue since I have been ignoring her hardcore (just saying hi and then walk away) and i can see that she's really eager to talk to me (smile really brightly whenever I appear, making eye contact longer than normal).

 

[DJDamage]

That guy friend of her turns out to be my very close friend. Should I just confront her about this? If she says she's interested in that guy then I'll kick her to the curb; but if not then I might still be able to continue since I have been ignoring her hardcore (just saying hi and then walk away) and i can see that she's really eager to talk to me (smile really brightly whenever I appear, making eye contact longer than normal).

Don't confront the girl.

If he is your friend, you should be able to talk to him about it.

If he is into her, you will have a decision to make whether you want to pursue knowing your friendship might be on the line, or let this girl go.

If you want to raise interest in the girl, start dating other girls.

 

[Igetit!]

So here's the story, the girl I'm going for is interested in me, that I know. however she has not been that responsive to me recently.

This seems like somewhat of a contradiction in terms.

You say that from what you know,she's interested in you,however,she's been nonresponsive.



Well if she's been nonresponsive,what gives you the immpression that she likes you?




Another thing:You said...

This girl I'm going for...

Well,how long have you been "going for her"? And how are you going for her/trying to make her interested in you?

She has a guy friend that she hangs out w/ almost all the time since they have same classes n extracurricular activities. 2 years ago this guy tried to chase her but she had a boyfriend then so nothing happened between them n he was not interested in her anymore.

So she hangs out with a guy a lot,has classes with him,and tried to date her two years ago. Tell me...


How do you know all this about this guy and her? How did you learn all this?

I can see that she gives him IOIs a lot, probably more than she gives me. However I just cannot fathom that if they have been friends for 2 years, anything is going to happen between them now.

I agree. If they've been around each other for 2 years and haven't dated yet,more than likely,it's a friendzone situation.



And you're mistaken about her giving him IOIs. I don't know what she's doing to give you that idea,but if they've been around each other for all that time and haven't even tried to date one another,those aren't IOIs you're seeing.

Should I confront her about this?

Should you confront her about what? What has she done?




You want to confront her because you feel jealous? Over a friendzone relationship?



Wow.





What I'm wondering is why you haven't ASKED HER OUT. If she's single,and is only friends with this guy,what's that got to do with YOU DATING HER?




You seem more preoccupied with her and him than her and YOU.




The title of this thread is "Girl has a very close FRIEND,not a boyfriend. If she's currently single,then she's probably just using this guy to fill needs that her boyfriend would fill if she had one.



That means once she find a guy she wants to date,she'll drop/drastically reduce the amount of time she spends with this guy.




She may flirt with him from time to time in order to keep him around in case things go sour with her boyfriend,but she has NO SEXUAL INTEREST in him.





I'd just stop worrying about this girl,and go all out to make her mine.



Confronting her will just make her feel attacked. If you create attraction in her,she'll naturally,willingly spend less time with this guy in order to spend more time with you.

 

[Avn_0903]

This seems like somewhat of a contradiction in terms.

You say that from what you know,she's interested in you,however,she's been nonresponsive.



Well if she's been nonresponsive,what gives you the immpression that she likes you?

No she's not "nonresponsive", she is, just that recently she hasn't been as responsive as before.

Another thing:You said...
Well,how long have you been "going for her"? And how are you going for her/trying to make her interested in you?

A month

So she hangs out with a guy a lot,has classes with him,and tried to date her two years ago. Tell me...


How do you know all this about this guy and her? How did you learn all this?

As I stated, he's one of my close friend, he told me about this girl 2 years ago

I agree. If they've been around each other for 2 years and haven't dated yet,more than likely,it's a friendzone situation.

I agree and they seem really close, without any kino lol

And you're mistaken about her giving him IOIs. I don't know what she's doing to give you that idea,but if they've been around each other for all that time and haven't even tried to date one another,those aren't IOIs you're seeing.

Well for the past 2 years she has a boyfriend, she dumped him this summer 4 watever reason I dont know. This semester the guy friend n the girl just seem awfully close and everybody is suspecting that they r dating. The other day they went out to see a play with another couple, this might be double date? Her friend likes him so wat I am thinking is that his sexual value might have increased in her eyes (preselection from other females), n she might have gotten interedted in him.

Should you confront her about what? What has she done?

Nah I just wanna ask if she is interested in him, if she is then oh well, next.

You want to confront her because you feel jealous? Over a friendzone relationship?



Wow.

Well if it's really a friendship then I wouldn't worry but she usually pays him more attention to him than to me, knowing that I'm interested in her. There were several occasions that she completely ignored me and paid total attention to that guy. Looking at them have fun drove me crazy.

What I'm wondering is why you haven't ASKED HER OUT. If she's single,and is only friends with this guy,what's that got to do with YOU DATING HER?

I am trying to game her, but it seems that she doesn't really wanna go out w/ me alone, she has gotta ask her friends to come also. On that occasion I got pissed n told her that if she did not want to have the date then we should just forget about the whole thing but she insisted that she was interested in going out (but w/ more people of course) and seemed really eager for that "date".

You seem more preoccupied with her and him than her and YOU.

True, but since he's my very close friend n he said he's interested in her also (I just asked him the other day), I just want to know more about the situation.