"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Girl got vengeance.

Aragon034

Master Don Juan
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Oh man, my heart is still firing off like an assault rifle.

I'm at the bar last night with a group of friends, and for the most part it's a good night out. One girl in particular i had a thing with but we both agreed not to take it any further than FB status. Last time we f**ked was about a month ago and we haven't really seen much of each other since. (a few calls and hangouts, nothing serious)

i used to prank this girl all the time. we worked at the same place and i used to get really bored and set up booby traps to annoy her for entertainment. (think tripwires, whoopy cushions, melted chocolate bars in Biohazard bags).

Anyways, we're sitting and generally having a good time, then all of a sudden she pulls out this box with a bowtie on it. She hands it over to me and says "Hey, this is for you!"

I kinda furrow my brow in confusion and go "Uhh... okay..." *opens box* "Cool, a pen with a blacklight and laser pointer all in one. Sweet. What's the occasion?"

With a freaking deadpan face and voice she goes... "Father's Day."

The table goes quiet. You could hear a pin drop. My heart skips a beat and i freeze with my pint 2 inches from my face... my face which is now completely catatonic in horror.

I can't say anything, the shock is so great, I always wrapped it up with this chick, ALWAYS!! Even though she was on Nuvaring i still wrapped it up! i am not risking at kid at 22!

I look at her and my heart restarts, somewhere about a few BPM below a heart attack. "Fa....fath... Father's day?" She nods gently and smiles. I'm a hairbreadth away from an aneurism. "You've got to be kidding."

She finally cracks and snickers. "Yep! Gotcha! That's for all the times you got me back at (old work place)"

The table goes into an uproar, and the only way to describe my state is "ArggH!!!"

Scariest moment of my life... :eek::eek::eek:

I did get a kickass pen though. :D
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mpimpin

Master Don Juan
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man that is great! Just made my day
 

Hughman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Damn that's some bad, but equally funny **** right there. She obviously has the hots for you. :up:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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