"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Girl got vengeance.

Aragon034

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Oh man, my heart is still firing off like an assault rifle.

I'm at the bar last night with a group of friends, and for the most part it's a good night out. One girl in particular i had a thing with but we both agreed not to take it any further than FB status. Last time we f**ked was about a month ago and we haven't really seen much of each other since. (a few calls and hangouts, nothing serious)

i used to prank this girl all the time. we worked at the same place and i used to get really bored and set up booby traps to annoy her for entertainment. (think tripwires, whoopy cushions, melted chocolate bars in Biohazard bags).

Anyways, we're sitting and generally having a good time, then all of a sudden she pulls out this box with a bowtie on it. She hands it over to me and says "Hey, this is for you!"

I kinda furrow my brow in confusion and go "Uhh... okay..." *opens box* "Cool, a pen with a blacklight and laser pointer all in one. Sweet. What's the occasion?"

With a freaking deadpan face and voice she goes... "Father's Day."

The table goes quiet. You could hear a pin drop. My heart skips a beat and i freeze with my pint 2 inches from my face... my face which is now completely catatonic in horror.

I can't say anything, the shock is so great, I always wrapped it up with this chick, ALWAYS!! Even though she was on Nuvaring i still wrapped it up! i am not risking at kid at 22!

I look at her and my heart restarts, somewhere about a few BPM below a heart attack. "Fa....fath... Father's day?" She nods gently and smiles. I'm a hairbreadth away from an aneurism. "You've got to be kidding."

She finally cracks and snickers. "Yep! Gotcha! That's for all the times you got me back at (old work place)"

The table goes into an uproar, and the only way to describe my state is "ArggH!!!"

Scariest moment of my life... :eek::eek::eek:

I did get a kickass pen though. :D
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

mpimpin

Master Don Juan
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man that is great! Just made my day
 

Hughman

Senior Don Juan
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Damn that's some bad, but equally funny **** right there. She obviously has the hots for you. :up:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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