Girl Goes Dark

[kjjackson]

I don't consider myself a player by any means, but I respect the overall message of this site and I am just looking for a little input.

So, I had class with this girl over the summer. I'd call her a 9. I flirt with her in class, and shoot her a funny text once in awhile. One random Friday night she texts me "what are you doing tonight". Of course, of all the weekends, I have a couple friends from NYC visiting, so I wasn't able to see her. The end of the semester rolls around, and after our last class I tell her to come over my place for a drink. We have lots of good sex, and when 9pm rolls around I am ready to be alone, so I tell her I need to take a shower and she hits the road.

I hit her up a week or two later. I tell her I am going out of town for a couple weeks, and I want to see her before I go. That night I go out with my buddies, and she meets me at my place when I get home. Again, we have great sex followed by more sex the following morning. (The only reason I mention this is to illustrate the point that it didn't fall apart because of the sex) Here's where it goes downhill. We're laying in bed that same morning and she asks me where I'm going for the next two weeks. I tell her, "uh.. I'm going on a little adventure." The reality is, I was going to live in a Buddhist Temple for 2 weeks to learn about meditation, but that sounded weird and I didn't want to weird her out. I am an awful liar, and the idiot that I am, I didn't think of a solid story to tell her. So we lay there quietly for about 10 seconds before I start talking about something else. Clearly, she was thinking to herself "wtf... why didn't you just tell me where you're going?". So I go on my trip, and a few days after I get back I shoot her a text. We go back and forth a handful of times, and she takes hours to get back to me each time, whereas she normally responds immediately. I get annoyed and don't respond to her last text, so she sends another one saying "are you back from your adventure?" I lol to myself. The next day I say lets hang out, she says she has to work. Ok. I shoot her a funny text a few days later, and then a few days after that I ask her out again via text. She has to work. Each of those three times I texted her, she did not respond to my last text. From my experience, if a chick is down, she will say literally anything to have the last text in a convo. Obviously not always true, but it seems to ring true a good deal for me. That was maybe 2-3 weeks ago, I've gone no contact since then.

Haven't heard from her since. Would this chick really bail on me because I said I'm going on an adventure? She is sexy as hell and a bit of party girl, so I'm sure she has plenty of other options... But still. I had her eating out of my god damn hands.

Did I give up too easily? I figure I asked her out twice, she shot me down twice with no remorse and she did not offer up any options to hang out therefore she has lost interest.

I'd love to fk her again, because her body was ridiculous, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I continue to ignore her and hope for the best? Ideally, I'd like to run into her on campus this fall because I feel like if she sees me and I get her laughing then I will spark her interest again. But that is such a random chance. Am I ****-blocking myself if I ask her out again via text?

Any thoughts?

 

[Tictac]

If she's just a FB (which is how you treat her) what do you care?

 

[marmel75]

Pull the stugots26 line he had in another thread:

Tell ya what, it will just be easier if you check your calendar and figure out what days you'd be free to meet and get back to me. Have a nice weekend/day/night

Then don't send anything again unless she reinitiates...

Also, from what I've been told, most guys far overestimate their abilities in the bedroom...just saying, it might not have been as good as you thought

 

[kjjackson]

Tic tac - The obvious answer is because I want to fk her again. Though, I think I get the point you're making - if I wanted her to stick around I should have acted like I wanted her to stick around. Point well taken.

Marmel - I wasn't trying to brag, I was just saying its unlikely that the sex is what drove her to not want to see me again. You'll just have to take my word for it, I guess.

 

[Eph]

Oh, please. Telling her you're "going on an adventure" instead of telling her exactly what you were going to do and where you were going is not the reason this fell apart. It could be anything, but I'd say in the time that you were gone she just got bored of you, or she even found someone else. Move on.

 

[christoff522]

I don't consider myself a player by any means, but I respect the overall message of this site and I am just looking for a little input.

So, I had class with this girl over the summer. I'd call her a 9. I flirt with her in class, and shoot her a funny text once in awhile. One random Friday night she texts me "what are you doing tonight". Of course, of all the weekends, I have a couple friends from NYC visiting, so I wasn't able to see her. The end of the semester rolls around, and after our last class I tell her to come over my place for a drink. We have lots of good sex, and when 9pm rolls around I am ready to be alone, so I tell her I need to take a shower and she hits the road.

I hit her up a week or two later. I tell her I am going out of town for a couple weeks, and I want to see her before I go. That night I go out with my buddies, and she meets me at my place when I get home. Again, we have great sex followed by more sex the following morning. (The only reason I mention this is to illustrate the point that it didn't fall apart because of the sex) Here's where it goes downhill. We're laying in bed that same morning and she asks me where I'm going for the next two weeks. I tell her, "uh.. I'm going on a little adventure." The reality is, I was going to live in a Buddhist Temple for 2 weeks to learn about meditation, but that sounded weird and I didn't want to weird her out. I am an awful liar, and the idiot that I am, I didn't think of a solid story to tell her. So we lay there quietly for about 10 seconds before I start talking about something else. Clearly, she was thinking to herself "wtf... why didn't you just tell me where you're going?". So I go on my trip, and a few days after I get back I shoot her a text. We go back and forth a handful of times, and she takes hours to get back to me each time, whereas she normally responds immediately. I get annoyed and don't respond to her last text, so she sends another one saying "are you back from your adventure?" I lol to myself. The next day I say lets hang out, she says she has to work. Ok. I shoot her a funny text a few days later, and then a few days after that I ask her out again via text. She has to work. Each of those three times I texted her, she did not respond to my last text. From my experience, if a chick is down, she will say literally anything to have the last text in a convo. Obviously not always true, but it seems to ring true a good deal for me. That was maybe 2-3 weeks ago, I've gone no contact since then.

Haven't heard from her since. Would this chick really bail on me because I said I'm going on an adventure? She is sexy as hell and a bit of party girl, so I'm sure she has plenty of other options... But still. I had her eating out of my god damn hands.

Did I give up too easily? I figure I asked her out twice, she shot me down twice with no remorse and she did not offer up any options to hang out therefore she has lost interest.

I'd love to fk her again, because her body was ridiculous, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I continue to ignore her and hope for the best? Ideally, I'd like to run into her on campus this fall because I feel like if she sees me and I get her laughing then I will spark her interest again. But that is such a random chance. Am I ****-blocking myself if I ask her out again via text?

Any thoughts?

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, and say maybe she thought there was more in this than you did. When you told her you were going on an adventure and didn't talk to her about it she lost respect for you. Then she spent two weeks wondering where you were, why you weren't bothering with her, and somebody else came into the fold and took your place. Basically in the time you were away, she moved on. You should have just told her you were going to a buddhist temple. She probably would have found it interesting, as the idea of a guy having self-control and discipline excites a woman. In fact girls tend to LOVE buddhism and some even practice it themselves.

tl;dr you pissed off a girl who could easily replace you - and you got replaced.

 

[kjjackson]

Either of those theories could be right, though I tend to lean towards what Eph said. Regardless, she is clearly over it at this point.

I appreciate the insight gentlemen.

 

[mbas44]

Not saying it's the reason she went dark on you but..why the **** would you feel "weird" about telling her you were going on retreat? I mean you'd already banged her a bunch of times so what's wrong with it? If she responded negatively or acted weirded out then that gives you a glimpse into her character right? Amazing people totally outhinking themselves sometimes, you made it a big deal in your own mind and had the belief she would find it weird, when in fact more than likely she woulda thought it was cool and may have brought you closer. Basically by saying your going on an adventure she prob sensed you were hiding something and trying to be "cool". Not saying it's the whole reason she went dark but again it probably created way more awkwardness than if you'd have just told the truth.