girl gets my number, texts me but

[pyros]

I posted about this in another thread, but I got very few replies so:


I met this chick last Saturday night in a club. I approached her cause she was smiling at me. We talked for 15 or more minutes, had a good time and then she had to leave so I asked for her number, but she prefered to get mine instead... ok.

Today Monday, SHE texted me, and after a bit or rapport etc, I said to grab a drink on Wednesday or Thursday evening, to what she replied:

her: "hehehe I have to work during the weekdays so its almost impossible (sure...she said she just babysits...), but if it's ok with you we'll talk."

me: alright

her: :*

me:


WTF?? I thought she would gladly agree, ??

Do I shoot her a text next Thursday to set something for saturday or sunday evening?

 

[bcollarmechanic]

don't initiate conversations, if she texts you text her back but keep it light, come Friday call her and ask her out for Saturday

 

[pyros]

update:

this chick just changed her whatsapp picture and chose a pretty sexy one, and she changed her status to: "I want you back, how can I make you wanna come back to me?? come back to smash the matress...come back!"

So I understand that she is refering to some ex bf or something...daaaammm it...

 

[Sino Zane]

You trying to be this girl's boyfriend or are you trying to have sex with her?

Wait until this Thursday to contact her. On Thursday night, text/call her saying that you wanna grab drinks on the weekend and that she should come.

If she declines for any reasons, tell her to "let me know when you're free," and then stop contacting her until she lets you know when she's free.

Until then, move on to other women and stop thinking about her.

Edit: Just read the comment you posted above mines. It's whatever, dude. You can still follow my advice above or you can just move on. It's really no big deal.

 

[asa_don]

update:

this chick just changed her whatsapp picture and chose a pretty sexy one, and she changed her status to: "I want you back, how can I make you wanna come back to me?? come back to smash the matress...come back!"

So I understand that she is refering to some ex bf or something...daaaammm it...

her: "hehehe I have to work during the weekdays so its almost impossible (sure...she said she just babysits...), but if it's ok with you we'll talk."

this sh!t goes right over your head doesn't it? she only wants to talk, not go out with you, that should clue you in that something is up.

when these chicks make excuses to chill, they don't want you, there is another guy they want more, you have your proof of that now.

her: "hehehe I have to work during the weekdays so its almost impossible (sure...she said she just babysits...), but if it's ok with you we'll talk."

me: alright

her: :*

me:


WTF?? I thought she would gladly agree, ??

Do I shoot her a text next Thursday to set something for saturday or sunday evening?

why would only agree to "talk" with her? if she isn't making an effort to chill, don't make any effort to just "talk", you will never get laid that way, can't believe you considered even doing that. next!

You trying to be this girl's boyfriend or are you trying to have sex with her?

Wait until this Thursday to contact her. On Thursday night, text/call her saying that you wanna grab drinks on the weekend and that she should come.

If she declines for any reasons, tell her to "let me know when you're free," and then stop contacting her until she lets you know when she's free.

Until then, move on to other women and stop thinking about her.

Edit: Just read the comment you posted above mines. It's whatever, dude. You can still follow my advice above or you can just move on. It's really no big deal.

more crap afc advice

when a chick outright declines your date and offers to talk to you instead, you next her ass, her pvssy is closed to you, she doesn't want to date you, don't be her "girlfriend" talking on the phone, that's pathetic, you want to beg for another date, lame.

Of course Im not gonna be talking to her just because. I will text her next Thursday to grab a drink on Saturday or Sunday like someone suggested here, and if she agrees fine, and if not, I'll tell her to contact me once she's free. Nothing more, nothing less.

why do you think she is going to grab a drink next saturday or sunday when she had no interest in doing so the last time you offered?

she wants to "talk", not go out for drinks/date/bang, find another girl who will, quit chasing after women with low interest you're wasting your time.

P.S.
I just realised her status is from some song's lyrics...whatever....she may want to branch-swinging and this is why she is unsure about hanging out with me. Dunno. I'm not posting more about her, cause its not worth it, she's just some random girl I met

seriously man, you have no clue what's even going on here.

she wanted your number instead, made an excuse to hang out, only wants to talk, she isn't really interested, quit wasting your time.

 

[pyros]

this sh!t goes right over your head doesn't it? she only wants to talk, not go out with you, that should clue you in that something is up.

when these chicks make excuses to chill, they don't want you, there is another guy they want more, you have your proof of that now.




why would only agree to "talk" with her? if she isn't making an effort to chill, don't make any effort to just "talk", you will never get laid that way, can't believe you considered even doing that. next!

no, sorry, she did not mean that, I tried to translate it ok but English is not my mother tongue. She meant that we should keep in contact so we could meet some other time.

Of course Im not gonna be talking to her just because. I will text her next Thursday to grab a drink on Saturday or Sunday like someone suggested here, and if she agrees fine, and if not, I'll tell her to contact me once she's free. Nothing more, nothing less.

P.S.
I just realised her status is from some song's lyrics...whatever....she may want to branch-swinging and this is why she is unsure about hanging out with me. Dunno. I'm not posting more about her, cause its not worth it, she's just some random girl I met

 

[pyros]

You trying to be this girl's boyfriend or are you trying to have sex with her?

Wait until this Thursday to contact her. On Thursday night, text/call her saying that you wanna grab drinks on the weekend and that she should come.

If she declines for any reasons, tell her to "let me know when you're free," and then stop contacting her until she lets you know when she's free.

Until then, move on to other women and stop thinking about her.

Edit: Just read the comment you posted above mines. It's whatever, dude. You can still follow my advice above or you can just move on. It's really no big deal.

just secs, for starters. LOL.

Good advise, thanks.

 

[spiegel549]

I posted about this in another thread, but I got very few replies so:


I met this chick last Saturday night in a club. I approached her cause she was smiling at me. We talked for 15 or more minutes, had a good time and then she had to leave so I asked for her number, but she prefered to get mine instead... ok.

Today Monday, SHE texted me, and after a bit or rapport etc, I said to grab a drink on Wednesday or Thursday evening, to what she replied:

her: "hehehe I have to work during the weekdays so its almost impossible (sure...she said she just babysits...), but if it's ok with you we'll talk."

me: alright

her: :*

me:


WTF?? I thought she would gladly agree, ??

Do I shoot her a text next Thursday to set something for saturday or sunday evening?

I responded with what you were doing wrong in your other thread. Starting a new thread doesn't change anything.

1) You NEVER NEVER NEVER allow the woman to take control and "take your number." NO! If she DOES do that, you take her phone, add your number then TEXT yourself with her name so you have her number too. BAM!

2) When you ask a woman on a date you always get a definite yes or no right then and there. You DO NOT wait for her to let you know, or get back to you. If she gives you a BS excuse like the one she gave you, your response should of been. "I prefer to get to know someone face to face." Or I would of said "wow babysitting takes up a lot of your time huh, you sleep at these kids houses? Seriously take an hour of your day and lets get coffee, hows Thursday?" You know bust her chops and get a definite YES.

A girl with high interest will move mountains to hang with you. Even with a busy schedule she will make room for at least a coffee with you. If she gives you BS excuses like that one..you are not very high up on her list. She either has a boyfriend, or is seeing other guys that aren't giving her the attention you are giving her.

Seriously if she said "No I am busy but can we talk?" My response with be "I am to busy and have other people I need to see, so if you want to make something happen, lets set plans now." No response? Another BS response? FUK THAT BROAD NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU are the prize bro. YOU are the one that has to check YOUR schedule. Not these dumb broads.

^^^^Everything said with brotherly love^^^^^ Don't write me back getting all offensive. HEAR MY WORDS!

 

[Fireballs]

Spiegel is spot on.

Right from the start you bought into HER FRAME by letting her get your number even though you asked for hers! SHE is in control.

 

[pyros]

It is the first time I ask a girl for her number, and she insists on gives me hers instead. When she gave me her number I tried to call my number but there was no signal.

Mauser96, you suggest not to contact her again unless she initiates, but for example, HarryWillington among others told me to shoot her a text on Thursday and if she tells me an excuse, then I should move on.

I kind of agree with both options. On the right hand I understand that I already asked her out so if she is interested she will contact me, but on the left hand she texted me first, and clearly she likes me. I asked her out, she told me she is 'busy' during the weekdays, so she may want to see if you I show more interest?

And you are right, from the moment she took my number I suspected there was something going on with her, like another dude, ex bf or something so I got the feeling that she is interested but she may not want to hang out NOW, she may be waiting to see if something doesn't work out with someone...this is why she is 'busy' during the week but wants to keep contact with me...

In any case, I wouldn't ever ask her out more than twice. I did already, so just the second time left.

I've had a two girls whom I asked her out once, they told me they were 'busy' (like this girl) doing 'X', and it turned out they were seing some other dude, or they still were seing their ex, and after a few weeks or months, they contacted me, and we went from there.
True story.

 

[Sino Zane]

more crap afc advice

when a chick outright declines your date and offers to talk to you instead, you next her ass, her pvssy is closed to you, she doesn't want to date you, don't be her "girlfriend" talking on the phone, that's pathetic, you want to beg for another date, lame.

It's not "frustrated chump" advice that I gave this guy - it's actually pretty practical. A girl rejects your advances for some reason; this is fine because you don't really care anyway, because you're just looking to get laid, and you're constantly working on other girls anyway. So INSTEAD of just continually talking to her and begging to be in her life, you follow the advice that I give, which is to just say "okay, cool, let me know when you're free," and THEN stop talking to her entirely UNTIL she lets you know when she's free. No where in my response to the OP did I claim that he should continue talking on the phone with her or begging her for dates. "Let me know when you're free" - and then dropping it and ceasing to contact her any further until she lets you know when she's free (which could be never, in which case you never talk to her again) - does not equate to begging for dates or being a "frustrated chump."

And in the event that this girl does text/call you asking you what's up, you follow the advice of Mauser in post #11, because as he mentions, doing what he advises is a win-win for you.

NO NO NO!!! Never ever tell a girl "let me know when you're free."

Not picking on you, but there's a lot of advice going around that says to "move on if she doesn't text back."

Bottom line is if she doesn't text/call back she's probably not interested because YOU did or said something to kill her interest.

We, as DJs, should be focused on getting to the root causes of why we're screwing up with women and killing their interest.

GMMR

...Not to pick on you, but there's a lot of advice going around that says to move on if she doesn't text you back BECAUSE that advice is spot-on, because it means that you're getting a time-wasting, attention-seeking, low-interest woman out of your life. With her out of your life, you are no longer wasting your energy and time on her and can now divert your time towards other, higher-interest women.

So again, when your advances are rejected by a woman, it's best not to ASSUME that it is because she is not interested in you, even though that is likely the reason why. She could reject your advance because she is legitimately busy and doesn't have the time, yet is interested in you. So by saying, "Okay, cool, let me know when you're free/let me know when you can hang out," you're putting the ball in HER court, and if she is interested, SHE will reach out to YOU. And if she reaches out to you, you follow Mauser's advice in post #11. By following that advice, you either eventually have sex with this girl, or you get her out of your life and can now focus on other women, which is a win-win.

And by the way, you don't have to have sex with every hot girl you come in contact with, guys. It's actually not a bad idea to be JUST friends with girls... you know, for "social proof."

P.S: There could be a LOT of reasons as to why a woman wouldn't be into you. NO ONE can get EVERY SINGLE GIRL. A girl might not be into your particular race, or your style, or they might not like your voice - seriously, it doesn't matter. Just go for girls who go for you.

 

[pyros]

This is where we can agree to disagree. If a woman won't even give you her phone number, she is not interested. To take something from Nismo, do you think she would tell Channing Tatum that she's more comfortable getting his number instead?

You telling her "Oh okay. Here's my number. Let me know when you're free." makes you sound like a total AFC who is so lonely that you'll sit around waiting for HER to call YOU.

I get the premise...I really do. 'Well, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll actually call at some point.'
...and even if you DO get lucky and she calls, she'll be in control of the interaction between you two for as long as it lasts. Or until you take control of the frame...which is a whole different conversation.

As for the woman not being interested thing, of course there could be a million different reasons - but what I was specifically referring to was her not being interested any longer after the first date, or subsequent dates. Then, it's likely YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

As Alex Hitchens explains to us, "She said yes, when she could've said No. She made plans to be with you, when she could've just blown you off. That means it is no longer your job to make her like you. It's your job not to MESS IT UP." And if her YES all of a sudden turns into a NO, AFTER a date or two, it's quite likely on you.

She said Yes, meaning her interest is high. Then all of a sudden, after one date, she no longer wants you. Sorry...that's all the dude's fault.

I mean sure, an ex boyfriend could've come back into the picture out of the blue, etc etc etc. But I'm talking about the 98% here.

GMMR

you're a bit cutting here. Ever heard about confident persistence? this is the method you use when a girl:
a) flakes
b) does not return your call
c) does not reply to your text
d) keeps radio silence for several days
e) etc etc

And if you read about this method, you would undertand that not all girls have high interest in you from the begining. And more often than not, these girls that seem somehow interested, are not totally into you because they keep talking or banging some ex bf or something like that.
Of course you should send to the curb a girl that displays little to no interest, but when she has medium interest, you can proceed and if you do it right, you get to bang her etc.

In the explanation you gave, you're just considering that if a girl shows hight interest from the begininig then its all good, but if she is a bit reluctant, you next her inmediately.

For example, Ive used confident persistence a few times, and it ended up well:

Girl a) met her online. Agreed to go on a date, then the day came and some hours before she text me that she could not make it blah blah.
I did not even reply. Some days later she texted me asking how I was, I replied but did not keep the conversation going. Some days later she texted me again, same thing. Then, I texted her and said that we should meet instead of texting, she agreed...I banged her 10 times and dropped her.

girl b) asked her out, she replied she had a bf. ONE DAMN year later, she texted me out of the blue. We met twice, I banged her a few times and stopped seing her. She wanted to keep seing me but I was not interested.

girl c) asked her out once, told me she was busy with her studies and had no free time (actually, she was seing her ex on and off). Three months later she texted me etc...we banged two times and then she decided to go back with her ex, AGAIN.

girl d) went on a few dates, she was a bit quiet. In three weeks she just texted me twice which I found weird and I started to think she was not interested, but she keep agreing to go on dates. I escalated in each date eventhough she did not seem that interested. On the fifth date I banged her pretty good. Then she decided to go back to her ex to whom she had been talking behind my back, ok, I got the bang. See?

Of course there have been other girls with whom I used confident persistence and I did not get anything.

Of course you dont use this method if you're needy or frustrated. But if you do not really give a ****, then it is fine.

Do not next so quickly man. I dont know if I'll bang this chick, but it is obvious that she liked me, so I'll be confident and persistent: I'll text her next thursday, I'll have a small fun conversation and I'll ask her out. If she declines, I'll say fine, contact me when you're free, and then I'll forget about her and see if she comes around in the future.

 

[Sino Zane]

This is where we can agree to disagree. If a woman won't even give you her phone number, she is not interested. To take something from Nismo, do you think she would tell Channing Tatum that she's more comfortable getting his number instead?

You telling her "Oh okay. Here's my number. Let me know when you're free." makes you sound like a total AFC who is so lonely that you'll sit around waiting for HER to call YOU.

I get the premise...I really do. 'Well, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll actually call at some point.'
...and even if you DO get lucky and she calls, she'll be in control of the interaction between you two for as long as it lasts. Or until you take control of the frame...which is a whole different conversation.

As for the woman not being interested thing, of course there could be a million different reasons - but what I was specifically referring to was her not being interested any longer after the first date, or subsequent dates. Then, it's likely YOU dropped the ball somewhere.

As Alex Hitchens explains to us, "She said yes, when she could've said No. She made plans to be with you, when she could've just blown you off. That means it is no longer your job to make her like you. It's your job not to MESS IT UP." And if her YES all of a sudden turns into a NO, AFTER a date or two, it's quite likely on you.

She said Yes, meaning her interest is high. Then all of a sudden, after one date, she no longer wants you. Sorry...that's all the dude's fault.

I mean sure, an ex boyfriend could've come back into the picture out of the blue, etc etc etc. But I'm talking about the 98% here.

GMMR

Agreed. I actually get your point now. I can see us both being right on this, honestly. I can understand nexting her completely just as I could understand telling her to "let me know when you're free," because the odds that they both amount to pretty much the same result - the girl will likely be out of your life due to low-interest, which is a win.

 

[pyros]

are you forgettin that she took my number, and she texted me?

 

[hudpes]

You should have gone silent after this: her: "hehehe I have to work during the weekdays so its almost impossible (sure...she said she just babysits...), but if it's ok with you we'll talk."


You want to get laid. You have options. She is not the only one you're interested in. What is the state of mind of a man that replies to that with alright? That man is disappointed, but seeing he has no choice he accepts the situation and since he's afraid of losing her interest he taps her on her shoulder, it's okay, I understand, hey, whenever you're ready ok? No rush.

No! You want action and if it's not happening with her, it's happening with someone else. So there is no need to answer.

pyros, her taking your number could just be a quirky power game or completely harmful or something else entirely. She decided (lead you) twice, once with the number (not your way, my way), second with the texting (you had no idea if she'll text you, when, what, etc.). Now you should spin this around and lead, make her follow.

 

[spiegel549]

You HAVE to start spinning multiple plates. If you have 3-4 other women you wouldn't of even waste time writing this thread. Oneitis is a dangerous thing, avoid it by dating multiple women.

When you start dating multiple women you don't think as much.

 

[pyros]

update:

just to conclude, I texted her on Thursday like some ppl suggested:

me: hey how's your day going?
her: hi! I just had a nap
blah blah
blah blah
sh-it test:
her: Today I babysat until 14:00
me: aha, are the kids still alive?
her: what? are you suggesting Im a bad babysitter?
me: I dont now, maybe you torture them
her: uh
me: lets grab a beer this weekend
her: I dont like beer
me: haha
her: its true
me: let's go, I wont bite you
her: well, I have to go, I'll text you :*

end

what a retarded excuse huh? LMAO.
Not gonna contact her again obviously.

 

[pyros]

Bet you wish you had followed the above advice now.

For next girls I will. I think I haven't met any girl that told me she was kind of busy who agreed to meet with me the second time I asked her out when the two interactions were initiated by me.

However, Ive had a few girls I asked out once and said they were 'busy' or something similar, and then I forgot about them, and they contacted me weeks later and we hooked up.

So I guess the one strike rule is pretty good. If you ask her out, and she says something among the lines '..busy...etc...maybe next week...etc...' without showing clear interest to meet you, you better forget about her and she may contact you, right Mauser?

you think it would have been different had I not contacted her?
She confused me because she said she was busy during the weekdays implying she was free on the weekends you know?

 

[pyros]

good, I fully agree, thanks.

 

[skinnyguy]

You HAVE to start spinning multiple plates. If you have 3-4 other women you wouldn't of even waste time writing this thread. Oneitis is a dangerous thing, avoid it by dating multiple women.

When you start dating multiple women you don't think as much.

Yep.