Girl from the past....

[KillingTime]

About three years ago i used to be so "IN LOVE" with this girl, back when I was a hardcore AFC.... i did all the stupid AFC crap, towards the end she actually ended up telling me she had feelings for me but then a few days later she said she wasn't ready, all her feelings for me were sexual and not love blah blah blah (shes religious) so I had a fit and it was over. Fast forward about 8 months, she IM's me one day saying the past is the past and if we can chat? so im like ok whatever and we've been just chatting since as friends. Now recently she invited me to visit her at work which I did, and lately she seems a little more flirty and calling me all these pet-names and whatnot, its just little things but something is definately different in the way she is acting towards me.
Now, by now Ive studied this DJ stuff quite a bit and am totally over her, no chance of "falling in love" or any of that BS, but she is definately a hottie. Im like a completely different person now and im pretty sure she notices the change, I'm wondering though if I should apply the moves on her considering my HUGE afc past with her. The way things are going recently... i don't know, it could be my complete attitude change but she seems a lot more interested, im just concerned about the way I acted with her in the past... I really doubt she just completely forget about it. I for one could care less what happens, but she is overall a pretty decent and hot girl that I wouldn't mind hookin up with for a few dates or whatever.

 

[gruby]

fuc k past, what was was. you are here and now and the fact that you were AFC doesn't matter -- go for it.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Honestly, every person goes through this.

You were an AFC, you messed up a relationship, you moved on. Later down the line, you becaome really good with women, could pick any girl up, and were not stressed for sex. Then one day you ran into the girl that you AFC'ed on, and thought that it was your second chance, to succeed where you once failed.

It's not gonna happen that easily. You have one main obstacle. The last memory this girl has of you romnatically, is that of an AFC. This makes it really hard for you to use your seduction tactics on her. See, by remembering you as an AFC, everytime you do something a PUA/DJ would do, she will immediatly think it's an act, and that you're not being yourself. She will think you're trying too hard to impress, and will LJBF you again.

How do you overcome this obstacle? You can't do it by focusing on her. This is what I would do, but feel free to use whatever works best for you:

1.) Drop subtle hints about other girls into your conversations.

I'll use this as an example:

her: so what are you up to today?
you: well i just got off work, and am about to go meet someone for coffee, want me to message you when I get back?
her: sure.

then message her the next day, act as if nothing happened. if she brings it up that you didn't message her, tell her you came home late and that you were so tired that you passed out. if she inquires about who you met for coffee or what you did, tell her that it's not that important, and ask her how her day was. shift the conversation to be about her.

be vague so she doesn't know what's going on. instead of "friend" "her" "him" etc, use "someone" "somebody". that way it can be interpreted in many different ways, but her paranoid mind will think you're hiding something, and will jump to the conclusion that it's a girl.

Then it's time for chapter 2.


2.) Make it obvious you're only interested in her as a friend. We'll call her HBfriend for now. What you do is date someone else, HBother, while staying friends with HBfriend. You treat HER like an AFC, an emotional tampon. Ask her for advice, complain to her when you're not happy with something, etc. Soon she will start to get sick of being an AFC (especially if she's single), and two things can happen.

i.) she will start seeing the lover side of you again, and will get sick of being just friends, and will start to drop signals, hints, use kino, etc.
ii.) she will start to pull back. in which case you can break up with HBother, talk to her about it, then test her interest. if she keeps pulling back, she's not interested in you, and nothing you do can change it. if she stops pulling back, she's interested. take a week, ask her out (so she doesn't think she's your rebound).


3.) Make her impress you. When you complain to her about the current girl you're with, always say things like "I wish she was better dressed/didn't play so many mindgames/more assertive in bed/etc. Always state what you're looking for in a girl (and if HBfriend doesn't have that quality, it's a great neg). Eventually, she will start to adapt and incorrporate those qualities into her personality, to try to get you interested in her.

 

[KillingTime]

Hey thanks bro that's some really good advice, definately going to give it a shot since I really have nothing to lose, if she doesn't like me I could care less.

 

[backbreaker]

Not only does everyone go though it, I am going though it now.

There was a girl I was crazy about 3-4 years ago, to make a long story short, she not only wasn't that interested, she lied and told me she didn't want a BF but went and got one. We had a fight about something that happened and stopped talking for 2 years.

in March, she writes me a letter out of the blue and asks me to call her. We have had our spats ever since then, but for the most part we are pretty cool.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel anything for her, but nothing like I did in the past, plus I know how to not wear my emotions on my sleeve like I did back then, which was my main problem.

I don't have to talk about other girls when I am around her, my actions speak for themselves, like when my phone is ringing every 15 mintues with someone trying to steal some time from me, or when she comes over and sees a condom in the trash can from the night before (she has a BF, so it's all game), or even better, when her friends ask am I available (and she says no). Last night she "jokingly" asked me would I want to have sex with her because her BF won't.

The best advice i can give you, and this is with any women, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You dont' have to have her tomorrow, she isn't going anywhere. Take your time, lay the groundwork. Right now this chick has a BF, has for 2 years now, and although they are on the verge of breaking up, I am in no rush to do anything to or with her, I mean I enjoy her company and all, and i really would like to be with her, but I have other prospects and I am not desperate enough to wait around hand and foot for her until they are not together any longer.