"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
girl friend dumped me yesterday
- Thread starter WheyProtein
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
typical
Master Don Juan
Yea agree with that.
On a side note why the hell do they call/text/email back after like 6 months, I find it annoying aye, its like leave me the fcuk alone woman.
On a side note why the hell do they call/text/email back after like 6 months, I find it annoying aye, its like leave me the fcuk alone woman.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'd even go as far as suggesting actually picking up Doc's System. If you can get past his written presentation, he's spot on in regard to relationship management.Phyzzle said:
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
HAHA!!! I hear that, I just talk to them about how good my relationship is and what we do. I even go as far to say, if she would not do something with me like watch horror movies, than I will talk about how great it is that she will go with me to scary movies.typical said:
It is very fun.
comic_relief
skip2mylou781
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i hope u read what I wrote and listen to MY advice, as opposed to all these fools that never had a girlfriend who they really loved
go back and re-read what i said and do exactly that - dont just next the girl forever
she DOES love u, but shes being young and stupid and u need to PUT HER IN HER PLACE, and by doign what i said (dissapearing on her without a trace for 2 weeks, then coming back), it will have her begging to get back with u and STAY with u - make her realize how her world will come to an end without u
DISSAPEAR AND RE-APPEAR
go back and re-read what i said and do exactly that - dont just next the girl forever
she DOES love u, but shes being young and stupid and u need to PUT HER IN HER PLACE, and by doign what i said (dissapearing on her without a trace for 2 weeks, then coming back), it will have her begging to get back with u and STAY with u - make her realize how her world will come to an end without u
DISSAPEAR AND RE-APPEAR
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
skip2mylou781 - I agree with you. She does love him but the pressure of the relationship has become too much and she's very young and wants to experience life first. That's obvious.
You could get her back but this issue won't go away and I can't see it lasting. You can give her space and let her **** around however then when she comes back (if she does), chances are you will have moved on and even if you haven't the fact she had been ****ing other dudes will eat at you.
I'm afraid that your best bet is to move-on. If it's right, she will come back and you will want her back. But I don't see that as being likely. It normally takes 6 months to a year to get over this.
BTW - All these attempts at talking etc just makes you look desparate and she will loose respect for you and then it really will be over. You are turning into a whiny little ***** and I know you aren't, so don't.
You could get her back but this issue won't go away and I can't see it lasting. You can give her space and let her **** around however then when she comes back (if she does), chances are you will have moved on and even if you haven't the fact she had been ****ing other dudes will eat at you.
I'm afraid that your best bet is to move-on. If it's right, she will come back and you will want her back. But I don't see that as being likely. It normally takes 6 months to a year to get over this.
BTW - All these attempts at talking etc just makes you look desparate and she will loose respect for you and then it really will be over. You are turning into a whiny little ***** and I know you aren't, so don't.
insanity
Master Don Juan
whey. skip2mylou is almost right. sometimes love is worth fighting for. but 99.9% of the time, it's a battle that cannot be won. this is a bad example but i'll try and explain it's comparison.
i love videogames and when i got my xbox360 it was the greatest. then i heard tales of the 3 red lights of doom. if those three red lights showed up, that meant your system was screwed. so when that fateful day arrived and i powered up my system. the dreaded 3 red lights appeared. instead of just phoning up the company to get a replacement, i tried a few tricks at first. i messed with the cords and voila it worked. the lights dissappeared. i thought man people give up to easy and look for the quick fix. a week passed and bam! the 3 lights showed up again. so i tried messing with the cords and it didn't work this time. so i tried giving the system a few light punches and it worked. i thought, man this is starting to suck. next week later they showed up again and i tried everything. i finally stopped trying to get it to work and opted for a new one.
the point i'm trying to make is even if you do succeed on getting her back. prepare for it to be temporary. i have staved of elimanation many times when my exs have said its over. but it just seemed like defeat was always around the corner.
the only reason your feeling like you are now is because no other girl is probably showing you attention and if they were and they were hotter. im sure it would be an easy trade. the reason it is so easy for girls to move on is because they constantly get hit on. when your being the sucker,taking all her punches to the heart and acting all sappy. its easy for her to trade you for a guy who has his ballz intact.
i wish you well.
i love videogames and when i got my xbox360 it was the greatest. then i heard tales of the 3 red lights of doom. if those three red lights showed up, that meant your system was screwed. so when that fateful day arrived and i powered up my system. the dreaded 3 red lights appeared. instead of just phoning up the company to get a replacement, i tried a few tricks at first. i messed with the cords and voila it worked. the lights dissappeared. i thought man people give up to easy and look for the quick fix. a week passed and bam! the 3 lights showed up again. so i tried messing with the cords and it didn't work this time. so i tried giving the system a few light punches and it worked. i thought, man this is starting to suck. next week later they showed up again and i tried everything. i finally stopped trying to get it to work and opted for a new one.
the point i'm trying to make is even if you do succeed on getting her back. prepare for it to be temporary. i have staved of elimanation many times when my exs have said its over. but it just seemed like defeat was always around the corner.
the only reason your feeling like you are now is because no other girl is probably showing you attention and if they were and they were hotter. im sure it would be an easy trade. the reason it is so easy for girls to move on is because they constantly get hit on. when your being the sucker,taking all her punches to the heart and acting all sappy. its easy for her to trade you for a guy who has his ballz intact.
i wish you well.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
donjuanjovi
Senior Don Juan
Did you actually cry for two days?
I would seriously see a doctor about getting your testicles re-attached. Go chop down a tree! That'll make you feel better.
I would seriously see a doctor about getting your testicles re-attached. Go chop down a tree! That'll make you feel better.
WheyProtein
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Skip i think im going to take your advice... guys just a update of what happened.
well, i didnt call her anymore, she began calling me crying etc, she still loved me, i still loved her, blah blah blah, we got back together.
the same day we get back together shes like still having concerns about us, she knows what her heart is saying but she doesnt know if its the right thing to do.. she says all she sees in our future is sex, jelous, and us fighting and thats it. i kept trying to convince her our love is real, our future wouldnt be that way, etc etc , and that i truely loved her ad blah blah blah whatever. i told her if she did let go of what we had shed regret it, and by then it would be too late. i told her shed need to be with me right now. cus in the future shed know what we had was real and she owuld of just thrown it away for a stupid reason , i know what im saying is right, she does too, so yea i thought things were better. but no.. she calls me later, i think everythings fine, i told her i love her she loves me back then she calls me later at night which is 20 minutes ago..
she is still uncertain. she says we need tim apart again, and we just got back together today wtf?? so she breaks up with me again i guess? she says she doesnt wanna be tied down and she doesnt want to make a mistake and end up like a bad couple she also says we wouldnt be happy in the future if wegot married so now shes trying toconvince me why we arent right for eachother (she did this before like 3 days earlier and i agreed with ehr and i told her id give her a year break , but then she came back, but now its happening again).
so yeah seriosuly she is confused obviously.. .so... whats left.. 2 weeks no contact? i think so.... she is also concerened about me being successful like thats all she cares about cus she said she doesnt wanna just be wiht a bum and all that stuff. i know what shes talkin about but i know thats not going to be me cus im going to a university in november. she doesnt think i will or whatever, cus imade the mistake of sying this and that like getting a job getting my liscense havnt done them yet ive had jobs but temporary jobs and i just walked into bestbuy today and expecting a job there. but i made the argument if u love someone ull be with them no matter what.
damnit now she wants time apart again cus shes still uncertain about us, and now she says she "thinks we have is love"... this is nuts... she is totally confused.... i told her i love her and she loves me.. but now shes being all logical and ****, plus her stupid ass influence and her fears of commitment at her young age (her parents are very strict and always been about the guy she should marry when she got older, successful and crap..) and she doesnt wanna settle down at her age and make a mistake and be with the guy that isnt right with her and be unhappy and crap thats basically what her fear is...no matter how much she loves me and wants to be with
me she also has this fear inside of her...
but guys i truely do love her... ive had oppertunities to be with a ton of girls, and i didnt because i love her. it just seems like crap that she would throw away our relationship cus of this.. its like soemthing i messed up on and cant repair.. and im like wondering.. if this is just unfixable.. if our relationship is truely deteriorating little by little... and soon it will totally be done with....
guys... if i cut no contact for 2 weeks should i tell her before hand or does that totally defeat the purpose of it?? i mean i dont want her to think i died or something... ??? the most ive ever done this before was like 3 days and she was devistated, crying and crap... what if i do it for too long and she gets over me after shes like all fcked up and her friends tell her to get a new man?!?!!?????????
well, i didnt call her anymore, she began calling me crying etc, she still loved me, i still loved her, blah blah blah, we got back together.
the same day we get back together shes like still having concerns about us, she knows what her heart is saying but she doesnt know if its the right thing to do.. she says all she sees in our future is sex, jelous, and us fighting and thats it. i kept trying to convince her our love is real, our future wouldnt be that way, etc etc , and that i truely loved her ad blah blah blah whatever. i told her if she did let go of what we had shed regret it, and by then it would be too late. i told her shed need to be with me right now. cus in the future shed know what we had was real and she owuld of just thrown it away for a stupid reason , i know what im saying is right, she does too, so yea i thought things were better. but no.. she calls me later, i think everythings fine, i told her i love her she loves me back then she calls me later at night which is 20 minutes ago..
she is still uncertain. she says we need tim apart again, and we just got back together today wtf?? so she breaks up with me again i guess? she says she doesnt wanna be tied down and she doesnt want to make a mistake and end up like a bad couple she also says we wouldnt be happy in the future if wegot married so now shes trying toconvince me why we arent right for eachother (she did this before like 3 days earlier and i agreed with ehr and i told her id give her a year break , but then she came back, but now its happening again).
so yeah seriosuly she is confused obviously.. .so... whats left.. 2 weeks no contact? i think so.... she is also concerened about me being successful like thats all she cares about cus she said she doesnt wanna just be wiht a bum and all that stuff. i know what shes talkin about but i know thats not going to be me cus im going to a university in november. she doesnt think i will or whatever, cus imade the mistake of sying this and that like getting a job getting my liscense havnt done them yet ive had jobs but temporary jobs and i just walked into bestbuy today and expecting a job there. but i made the argument if u love someone ull be with them no matter what.
damnit now she wants time apart again cus shes still uncertain about us, and now she says she "thinks we have is love"... this is nuts... she is totally confused.... i told her i love her and she loves me.. but now shes being all logical and ****, plus her stupid ass influence and her fears of commitment at her young age (her parents are very strict and always been about the guy she should marry when she got older, successful and crap..) and she doesnt wanna settle down at her age and make a mistake and be with the guy that isnt right with her and be unhappy and crap thats basically what her fear is...no matter how much she loves me and wants to be with
me she also has this fear inside of her...
but guys i truely do love her... ive had oppertunities to be with a ton of girls, and i didnt because i love her. it just seems like crap that she would throw away our relationship cus of this.. its like soemthing i messed up on and cant repair.. and im like wondering.. if this is just unfixable.. if our relationship is truely deteriorating little by little... and soon it will totally be done with....
guys... if i cut no contact for 2 weeks should i tell her before hand or does that totally defeat the purpose of it?? i mean i dont want her to think i died or something... ??? the most ive ever done this before was like 3 days and she was devistated, crying and crap... what if i do it for too long and she gets over me after shes like all fcked up and her friends tell her to get a new man?!?!!?????????
WheyProtein
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i mean we've been fighting and crap like that.. and just other htings, and she thinks thats how relatioship is ALWAYS GOIGN TO BE THAT WAY, which is impossible, because she hasnt even turned 18 yet, the way i see it things havnt begun, and i love her to be with her and make her happy and commit to her like no other guy would... but hse doesnt see that... shes afraid that it might be a bad decision and crap....
please let me know what to do and plz dont just say find another girl ill worry about that later when i know things are dead here for sure and theyre not obviously cus shes not blocking my phone calls or telling me to f off and stuff..
please let me know what to do and plz dont just say find another girl ill worry about that later when i know things are dead here for sure and theyre not obviously cus shes not blocking my phone calls or telling me to f off and stuff..
donjuanjovi said:
LOL. I just listened to this post on playersupremes podcast show. WWW.playersupreme.libsyn.com
It is at the end of the Observe your InnerGame episode.
He spoke directly to Whey here and I think he might want to listen to it. I guess he was skimming the net to day and came across this thread.
Whey I would take his advice to heart.
Good luck to you.
Mack,
WheyProtein
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thanks a lot mack, im downloading it right now.
but i was just on articles at askmen.com by doc love or whatever.
i ran into a situation just like mine.. omg... i guess it really is over....
damnit????
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_200/218c_relationship_expert.html
DO U GUYS AGREE?!!??!
but i was just on articles at askmen.com by doc love or whatever.
i ran into a situation just like mine.. omg... i guess it really is over....
damnit????
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_200/218c_relationship_expert.html
DO U GUYS AGREE?!!??!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
WheyProtein
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ok.. so she dumps me.. i seriously dont act like a puss, well i do the first 2 days, but i agree with her, i encourage her to date other men, i say good luck, itell her to give mea call next year. CLICK...
a day later she calls me crying etc etc etc wanting me back...
I GO BACK TO TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF BASICALLY TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF SEEM LIKE IM GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER, TRYING TO CONVINCE HER.. THEN THERE IT GEOS AGAIN.. SHE DUMPS ME AGAIN... CUS I STARTED ACTING LIKE A DAMN PSSY.. DAMNIT!!! WHY DO I FCK UP
and why are girls such btches about these kind of things...
a day later she calls me crying etc etc etc wanting me back...
I GO BACK TO TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF BASICALLY TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF SEEM LIKE IM GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER, TRYING TO CONVINCE HER.. THEN THERE IT GEOS AGAIN.. SHE DUMPS ME AGAIN... CUS I STARTED ACTING LIKE A DAMN PSSY.. DAMNIT!!! WHY DO I FCK UP
and why are girls such btches about these kind of things...
WheyProtein
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been reading doc loves articles..
so im thinking what if i cut off contact for a week, not two, but a week, so its not too drastic, talk to her, but reject her? tell her im fine right now, and tell her it was best for our tmie apart and we shouldnt settle down so soon. basically thwo everything shes thrown at me back at her. i know it will kill her. god damnit its rediculous how i have to use these methods to keep a girl... or to get her back... i dont understand why...
but then again i dont know i mean sometimes i think formyself that im excited to date other girls, but my love for my "ex girl friend" is keeping me to want to hold onto her no matter what. no matter how she treats me, the pain she puts me through, i dont know why in my heart i feel we are meant to be together..
I mean, my gf loves me, she wants to be with me, but maybe there is hope, what if she really does love me but at the same time shes being so damn confused cus shes still in highschool.... and she doesnt know what she exactly wants yet. but then again, her actions, why would she want time apart, why would she want freedom, why doesnt she want to be tied down, but at the moment that she loses me she wants me back? but then she does, so basically just really confused... she wants everything all at once . she promised me we'd get married in the future. what if her interest level is still high, but shes just uncertain whether to put it all on the line for me at once cus shes confused?? but then again, what if she only gave me a false hope with that marriage cus if she truely felt that way she wouldnt be goin through this. or maybe its just a phase.. i dunno... i just wish i knew what was the best thing to do.. obviously give her space and work on my life right now...
so one week no contact ...or is that not long enough?
i also think why i know why we seperated and things turned this way, cus the trust issues. i guess she also felt like iwas sufforcating her and not giving her space, and always like paranoid and crap like that. ...
so im thinking what if i cut off contact for a week, not two, but a week, so its not too drastic, talk to her, but reject her? tell her im fine right now, and tell her it was best for our tmie apart and we shouldnt settle down so soon. basically thwo everything shes thrown at me back at her. i know it will kill her. god damnit its rediculous how i have to use these methods to keep a girl... or to get her back... i dont understand why...
but then again i dont know i mean sometimes i think formyself that im excited to date other girls, but my love for my "ex girl friend" is keeping me to want to hold onto her no matter what. no matter how she treats me, the pain she puts me through, i dont know why in my heart i feel we are meant to be together..
I mean, my gf loves me, she wants to be with me, but maybe there is hope, what if she really does love me but at the same time shes being so damn confused cus shes still in highschool.... and she doesnt know what she exactly wants yet. but then again, her actions, why would she want time apart, why would she want freedom, why doesnt she want to be tied down, but at the moment that she loses me she wants me back? but then she does, so basically just really confused... she wants everything all at once . she promised me we'd get married in the future. what if her interest level is still high, but shes just uncertain whether to put it all on the line for me at once cus shes confused?? but then again, what if she only gave me a false hope with that marriage cus if she truely felt that way she wouldnt be goin through this. or maybe its just a phase.. i dunno... i just wish i knew what was the best thing to do.. obviously give her space and work on my life right now...
so one week no contact ...or is that not long enough?
i also think why i know why we seperated and things turned this way, cus the trust issues. i guess she also felt like iwas sufforcating her and not giving her space, and always like paranoid and crap like that. ...
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WheyProtein
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CraigMack said:
HOLY SHT....??? wtf.. i didnt think u were serious when u said he mentioned me , thats nuts i was trippin when he started readin the email she wrote i was like whaaaaat!!?!?! acutally damn that was a good wake up call though.... it made me laugh.... it makes sense... but when he started reading off the exact letter i felt like iwas in the twilight zone lol it was crazy i didnt think u were serious, but thanks alot for pointing this link out to me man, and thanks A LOT for helping me PLAYERSUPREME!!! thanks. I really get the whole picture now. it makes all the sense in the world, i mean i heard everyone here say to get over it, but when he actually pointed this out to me and explained what was going on it just made sense on the dot so yeah i really got convinced. but yeah as much as i hated to hear it i couldnt help but laugh because he made me realize its true. especially the part when he said that if im with a girl id tell her to stay the fck away, cus she said shed punch her, HAHAHA.... but yeah as much as i hated to hear it, it didnt matter, im glad i heard it. i prayed to god that hed tell me what to do, and help me out, and then this comes up like playersupreme was the messanger and he told me what was up. i really appreciate it. im not going to hold on anymore to her anymore, not after hearing this... this is just what i needed. thanks a lot playersupreme for actually takin the time to help me and setting me straight. after hearing this, i truely do feel like i can be a man now and stop getting mixed with this garbage and drama and all these confused feelings, cus now i know what the deal is and i mean, if she loved me this wouldnt be happening. and another thing, i never mentioned this before, but her wanting the freedom in her senior year didnt just come up, she mentioned it last year when we broke up and got back together, i told her if she broke my heart again and left me id be gone for good. so i thought that wasnt even a question for her anymore, it hought she dropped that idea. and yep, this year comes, and she does just that. so yeah enough is enough ive seen enough evidence ive heard enough and this is just what i needed to hear to finally put the nail in the coffin. thanks playersupreme.
but i mean, listening to this makes 100% sense, truely does, but i dont understand why shed be crying for me when im gone.. like she wants everything all at once. i guess like he said himself, she wants to hold onto that love and be able to have other things too... oh well.. not anymore.
im going to listen to the rest of his stuff
WheyProtein
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i dont understand. if i dont call her. she calls me. we talk, she sounds sad, and asks me, are you over me?? like wtf.. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME.. why does she ask me these stupid qusetions when she broke up with me. she acts like i broke up with her its insane... and then shse starts crying and crap.. i dont understand .. damnit
lavhoes
Don Juan
Put this through your head and repeat it until you've got it: SHE WANTS CONTROL.WheyProtein said:
Conscious or subconscious, she still wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants her freedom, but she doesn't want to pay the price for it, so she calls you up crying and whining about you moving on. Seriously, F*** HER. All she wants to know is that getting back with you is a viable option. She wants to be able to feel like she can move on, but she doesn't want to lose control over you in the process.
Don't answer her calls. Don't talk to her. Right now she's torn not because she's still in love with you, but because she can't face paying the price for what she obviously really wants. Well, tell that b**** it's too late, she already made her choice. Cut her loose. Don't let her contact you. And move on yourself.
Listen to PlayerSupreme's podcast, over and over and over. It's damn good medicine. You need to get that kick to the balls repeatedly until you've got it in your head that this girl isn't any different from any other girl, and that this is nothing you can't move away from.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.