Girl flying into town - pay for hotel?

[Vanderdonck]

Nope. I went on vacation overseas to meet with up with a girl I met on instagram a while back. I didn't pay for any of her expenses for whole the whole week-long trip. We were both responsible for our own costs. We did stay in a hotel together, but we split it 50-50 and prepaid for it in full. In my mind, if she things went sour, nothing was lost. Had I offered to pay for everything, I wouldn't be able to gauge her interest/compliance level until we met, which would be a huge gamble.

I did this too once. We met in a third country (Italy) and as it was my first time there, I reasoned that at the minimum I would enjoy a nice trip to Italy. But I knew based on her emails she was hot to trot. She even broke up with her live-in boyfriend before the trip. Fukked all week and split the bills, it was a great time, don't sleep on the Pantheon, it's a treasure.

 

[RangerMIke]

You invited her... you pay. That's how it works. If she had come on her own without invitation, then she would be on her own. If you don't want to pay for a hotel room, then don't see her.

 

[Sega Genesis]

You invited her... you pay. That's how it works. If she had come on her own without invitation, then she would be on her own.

^^This.

It would be different if you were in an ongoing relationship or dating but here you met her briefly on vacation, you're not dating, you haven't even f*cked. Or have you? You never responded to that question.

There is also the safety issue of her staying with a man she barely knows. Not smart.

You invited her; be a gentleman. She's paying for the flight which given the distance is not cheap!

If you end up really clicking and the sexual energy is there, she could always check out of hotel early and stay with you.

But expecting that she stay with you right off the bat? A woman who barely knows you?
Or that she pay for her flight and hotel?

I think that's a bit much to expect.

 

[Divorced w 3]

^^This.

It would be different if you were in an ongoing relationship like @BeExcellent scenario, but here you met her briefly on vacation, you're not dating, you haven't even f*ck ed. Or have you? You never responded to that question.

There is also the safety issue of her staying with a man she barely knows. Not smart.

You invited her; be a gentleman. She's paying for the flight which given the distance is not cheap!

If you end up really clicking and the sexual energy is there, she could always check out of hotel early and stay with you.

But expecting that she stay with you right off the bat? A woman who barely knows you?
Or that she pay for her flight and hotel?

I think that's a bit much to expect.

No way Jose

She told him recently that she was already here nearby ‘that I should come to her city which was close’… honestly I think this dude is just mad lazy I would have just driven by her or taken a train out, build that connection and then she wouldn’t have such an issue staying with him. I think the underlying issue is that he doesn’t give off natural energy it’s too anxious

on the topic of her flying up, yeah if she wants to fly up due to his recommendation okay, she’s got folks in the area anyway - no money should be laid out on his side until she connects with him in person which sounds highly unlikely

he may as well just tell her at this point he sees her as a long distance booty call. Who does he think he’s fooling?

lastly he hasn’t responded once to this thread…OP I know New York well what about just dropping locations and we can help you out,.., there are 10 million people in the city and 2 million more on Long Island you’re not going to dox her or yourself

painful

 

[Doctor Europeo]

She said she'd feel more comfortable if she had a hotel room. She asked if I could pay for it.

"Pay for my hotel and maybe you can get laid". Yeah, nice try. NYC has a bunch of girls, just pull someone else.

 

[Divorced w 3]

"Pay for my hotel and maybe you can get laid". Yeah, nice try. NYC has a bunch of girls, just pull someone else.

Something here is way off. Doesn’t make any sense. When is OP going to circle around and clarify for us?

 

[Sega Genesis]

on the topic of her flying up, yeah if she wants to fly up due to his recommendation okay, she’s got folks in the area anyway - no money should be laid out on his side until she connects with him in person which sounds highly unlikely

Recommendation? I just read his original post again, he invited her.

That said since she has folks in the area, stay with them! Apologies I missed that part.

I would have just driven by her or taken a train out, build that connection and then she wouldn’t have such an issue staying with him.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Recommendation? I just read his original post again, he invited her.

That said since she has folks in the area, stay with them! Apologies I missed that part.

2:1 odds this is some low effort Instagram connection at this point

 

[Sega Genesis]

I had invited her to come visit and hang out for a few days earlier this year but it didn't work out. She hit me back a few weeks ago when she was home saying I should hop over to her home city, which is close. I told her I couldn't...

^^Why couldn't you? As Dw3 said, perfect opportunity to build connection/rapport or at the very least determine chemistry in a non-pressured environment...

 

[L16]

^^Why couldn't you? As Dw3 said, perfect opportunity to build connection/rapport or at the very least determine chemistry in a non-pressured environment...

I had plans to travel to another city already.

I'm not looking for this to turn into a relationship. I'm just looking for a fun few days.

If it's a good time and she'd want to visit again, she'd be staying with me no questions asked.

If she wanted to simply use me to pay for a hotel in NYC, then I don't see why she would have reached out to me out of the blue and asked me to fly to her hometown a few weeks prior to this.

And no, we haven't slept together yet. Met her one night while I was vising Costa Rica on a bachelor party. Ended up with a different girl that night but got her number.

Figured why not invite her. If she's down and comes, it could be fun and a great story. If not, no sweat off my back, I have no investment in this. If she comes and it sucks, well, you can't win if you don't play

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Its up to you. Let us know how it went. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have no investment in this.

?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I had plans to travel to another city already.

I'm not looking for this to turn into a relationship. I'm just looking for a fun few days.

If it's a good time and she'd want to visit again, she'd be staying with me no questions asked.

If she wanted to simply use me to pay for a hotel in NYC, then I don't see why she would have reached out to me out of the blue and asked me to fly to her hometown a few weeks prior to this.

And no, we haven't slept together yet. Met her one night while I was vising Costa Rica on a bachelor party. Ended up with a different girl that night but got her number.

Figured why not invite her. If she's down and comes, it could be fun and a great story. If not, no sweat off my back, I have no investment in this. If she comes and it sucks, well, you can't win if you don't play

How is it a great story to spend a grand to get played by a random chick from another country?

Bro you don't get it...it's all great and exciting until a day or two before you are supposed to come and then suddenly "something comes up" and she won't be available...this is the common thing where it sounds great until reality hits and then it doesn't actually sound great.

Guarantee if you would have booked a flight down there you would have gotten a bunch of excuses last minute or while there as to why she could barely spend any time with you.

 

[Divorced w 3]

How is it a great story to spend a grand to get played by a random chick from another country?

Bro you don't get it...it's all great and exciting until a day or two before you are supposed to come and then suddenly "something comes up" and she won't be available...this is the common thing where it sounds great until reality hits and then it doesn't actually sound great.

Guarantee if you would have booked a flight down there you would have gotten a bunch of excuses last minute or while there as to why she could barely spend any time with you.

I wash my hands of it

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I wash my hands of it

The people giving advice have found themselves in this situation...probably more than once in their life unfortunately.

But of course OP, THIS GIRL IS DIFFERENT!

 

[Divorced w 3]

The people giving advice have found themselves in this situation...probably more than once in their life unfortunately.

But of course OP, THIS GIRL IS DIFFERENT!

And the vagueness with this ‘going to another city’ is just hitting a button for me I can’t quite place. I just feel like we could offer better advice. Like come on bro, you’re gonna get totally doxxed telling us you’re one of the 1,000,000 people jumping on the Acela tomorrow. Whatever. Giving up.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't see why she would have reached out to me out of the blue and asked me to fly to her hometown a few weeks prior to this.

Typically what else does a resident of an island jungle do that’s a better story of some dude came all the way down to see me from New York and I blew him off

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP I made it super grainy. I won’t tell anyone.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Its up to you. Let us know how it went. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

I have a feeling the OP is so loaded that booking a hotel and covering expenses for three days in New York for both of them is like pocket change to him. Either that or he’s being irresponsible and going into debt with his credit card that he’ll struggle to pay off later.

 

[Prepostereax]

The only times I pay for a visitor's accommodation is when I don't want them to stay over (in-laws, crazy relatives, etc).

and it’s up to them to sort out their own travel.