"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Girl flaked didn't propose rain check

zorg198

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Hello Guys,

Few weeks ago i was dating this chick , we went to a restaurant. then i saw a waiters there who looked like someone i worked with 10 years ago. i didn't knew if i was right but i wanted to make sure. i asked her to come she was in shock when i told her how i knew her. anyhow after i went back home i sent her on Facebook some text and we agreed to meet after i ditch this chick. we schedule to see each other on last Friday but she flaked with excuse her friends had a birthday to her boyfriend or something like that. before that few days ago we had a talk and she started to ask me some personal questions like where i from , last name and so on...( big mistake from my part)

When we talked on the phone she asked me where we are going , she insisted to know where we are going. looks like she wanted to know if its worth her.

Now- since that time i told her no problem , i will use my back up plan chick to go out instead of u. she laughed and told me i'm not possessive its ok.


Wished her good day and that's it. radio silence.


What should i do? any suggestions?

Joe.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Peña

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Strange story. Sounds like you don't have much experience with women how you're acting. She doesn't want to go on a date. Move on.
 

zorg198

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It dosent related to that. simply , we scheduled to gave a date on Friday. she flaked whatever reason will be . now i need to know if i should contact her in few days or should i wait for her to reach out.
 

Peña

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zorg198 said:
It dosent related to that.
Sounds related to me. Sounds like you are inexperienced.


zorg198 said:
simply , we scheduled to gave a date on Friday. she flaked whatever reason will be . now i need to know if i should contact her in few days or should i wait for her to reach out.
She didn't want to go on a date. She flaked for that reason. Let her reach out to you if she wants to go. She is the one who flaked. If she wants to go on a date she will reach out. No need to contact her when she should contact you.

Why did you ditch the girl you dated for her?
 

zorg198

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Pena,

Any suggestions for the next time ?


Understood. oh well need to move on.

Joe.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Harry Wilmington

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NO SURPRISE DATES FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTHS. Dude, she barely knows you - for all she knows, you could be trying to lure her back to your layer and force yourself upon her. She has the right to know where you're going to take her on these dates. Once you've built some rep with her and she trusts you more, THEN you can do the surprise dates. But until that happens, they should be dates that are simple enough to where the idea of them being surprises shouldn't even be a factor.

And then, you have the nerve to tell her you already had a back-up plan?? Duuuuuude... a woman should SENSE that you have other options, but you don't directly verbally tell her that - it makes you seem like a little boy that wants to show he still has friends when his best friend flakes on him: "You don't wanna do things MY way?? Fine, then! I have 5 hundred million other people I can hang with, so THERE!"

Geez, people - dating really isn't this hard...
 

Peña

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zorg198 said:
Pena,

Any suggestions for the next time ?


Understood. oh well need to move on.

Joe.

Having a plan is what you need to let them know. sounded kind of shady to her. Try to find girls that like to go out with you and date them. Don't put much into ones showing low interest off the bat. Telling her about backup girl is what turned her off. Poor game is what ruined it. She could have told the truth but radio silence means she doesnt want to go out. Calling her won't do any good if she doesn't want to go. See if she contacts but dont count on it. Get some news girls and try again but dont say things like that.
 

zorg198

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Harry Wilmington said:
NO SURPRISE DATES FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTHS. Dude, she barely knows you - for all she knows, you could be trying to lure her back to your layer and force yourself upon her. She has the right to know where you're going to take her on these dates. Once you've built some rep with her and she trusts you more, THEN you can do the surprise dates. But until that happens, they should be dates that are simple enough to where the idea of them being surprises shouldn't even be a factor.

And then, you have the nerve to tell her you already had a back-up plan?? Duuuuuude... a woman should SENSE that you have other options, but you don't directly verbally tell her that - it makes you seem like a little boy that wants to show he still has friends when his best friend flakes on him: "You don't wanna do things MY way?? Fine, then! I have 5 hundred million other people I can hang with, so THERE!"

Geez, people - dating really isn't this hard...


So... is there any return from here or she burned ?
 

Harry Wilmington

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One step at a time:

1. Find something interesting for you two to get into date-wise
2. Call her up and ask her on a date to said interesting thing and TELL HER what it is
3. See what she says - it will either be "that sounds great, let's do it" (you're in!) or "oh, I'm busy that day" with no counter-offer (you're out!)

And that's it! Really not too complicated, in fact. From there, you'll know where you stand and can move on regardless.
 

zorg198

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Got it.

Any suggestions for a good interesting date?

Joe.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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