"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Girl Doesn't Reply

xj220

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I tried searching but nothing was really turning up. Here's the situation, I met this girl and we've been emailing each other for a bit and it seems like we've hit it off really well. Unfortunately, it's about 5 days or so since she replied to my last email. Now I understand it's better to call or meet in person, but logistically it isn't possible so I want to focus on this situation since it brought some questions to mind: how long is too long before I should say something to her and what do I say when I email her again? We usually haven't gone more than a day without an email being sent for reference.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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shaunuk

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Do you know this girl in real life? If you do, all this emailing thing is pretty BS and it'd be better to talk to her in person or on the phone.

If you don't, and she's simply stopped replying the emails, I'd simply leave it. You can try sending another email but when if a girls emails just stopped I'd take the hint that the interaction is really going nowhere.
 

xj220

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I don't know her in real life but we've been making some plans to get together (I'm on leave right now so I can't see her just yet). She just hasn't replied to my last email so it's not like I've been sending a bunch say "why don't you respond." Thanks for the reply though.
 

shaunuk

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hm yeah, one possible reason for getting no reply could be lack of rapport in real life. In other words, she's not sure if she can really be arsed to take this further due to lack of properly knowing each other in real life.

You might get a reply eventually, I'd just hope for that. If you do, get her digits and give her a call to establish some real rapport and comfort so that she's (ideally) eager to meet up with you. Good luck bro :)
 

xj220

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Good call, I've been thinking about getting some digis and giving her a call. My plan was to open up with that I was disappointed I hadn't heard from her in awhile and then go on normally like it never happened. I'll send one more email and call it if I don't hear anything.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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shaunuk

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Whether you express disappointment about not hearing from her is up to you but personally I wouldn't. I'd probably just send something that sounds in a good mood/high spirits, as though you've just had a cool and exciting last few days, asking her how she's getting on.

If you get no reply, probably best just to leave it at that mate.
 

Smartone84

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well hold on a second.... Did you ask her something in the email? If not, its not necessary for her to really write anything back. You got her number? good, make something happen. If there has one thing i've learned over the years when dealing with girls online, its to undoubtedly STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT
 

xj220

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I just sent her an email based off of shaunuk's responses. The thing is, she was suggesting that we hang out and do things together which I agreed to, but told her it'd have to wait until Jan when I can get back in town. Now we'll see if she replies, if not it's her loss/problem.
 

WC2

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xj220 said:
I just sent her an email based off of shaunuk's responses. The thing is, she was suggesting that we hang out and do things together which I agreed to, but told her it'd have to wait until Jan when I can get back in town. Now we'll see if she replies, if not it's her loss/problem.
Do you really have that belief though? If she doesn't reply, it's her problem?

I think the problem is that you're RELYING on a reply from this chick.

If it wasn't a big deal to you, you wouldn't have asked us.

The #1 rule of communication with women is the ability to take it or leave it. If she doesn't feel the need to respond, so what. She missed out.

Secondly, email is a really poor way to make a connection with a woman. Email is for friends and associates.

You say you guys 'hit it off' which maybe you did; as friends. It's extremely tough to attract a woman by just talking to her through email. She can't hear your voice, she can't see how you act, she doesn't know if she can trust you. Let me repeat, there is zero to LITTLE chance of seduction when you talk to a chick through email.

Grab her phone number, give her a ring and talk to her a little bit. I understand you can't meet up with her right this moment, but if you want any attraction to spark, you're going to have to do it sooner or later, because sending emails back and forth is the way of friends. You don't want to be a friend do you?
 

xj220

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Again, thanks for the replies. The tough love, kick in the ass type replies are what I need to keep me out of pansyville. Anyways, so I sent an email asking for her number and today she replied with the digits. I was thinking about calling on the 26th because of Christmas, unless tomorrow isn't too soon.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TheNastyAfrican

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This is how I look at it....when I like a girl how long would I go before I respond? My is theory is simple, if somebody truly is in to someone else they will look for any opportunity to communicate with the object of their affection, be it phone, text, email, whatever.

Just my 2 cents
 

DonGorgon

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TheNastyAfrican said:
This is how I look at it....when I like a girl how long would I go before I respond? My is theory is simple, if somebody truly is in to someone else they will look for any opportunity to communicate with the object of their affection, be it phone, text, email, whatever.

Just my 2 cents
You aRE USING LOGIC... WOMEN ARE NOT LOGICAL AND OFTEN HAVE MANY MANY OPTIONS ...
 

daygameguy

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DonGorgon said:
You aRE USING LOGIC... WOMEN ARE NOT LOGICAL AND OFTEN HAVE MANY MANY OPTIONS ...
Actually this is sad but true.

To OP,

Move on buddy. Nothing much you can do here. If she misses you/WAS interested in you/had an emotional connection with you, she WILL say hi again. But you cannot be needy. You have played your part, so from this point on its her loss if she doesn't put in her share of the effort in building a relationship.

The more time you waste on a girl with low IL, the more opportunities, besides her, you are likely to miss.

REMEMBER, this game is not about what YOU do, but what you get HER to do. Its all about HER investment. You need to get her to invest in you. So don't be needy, let her put in some investment, some effort to pursue you.
 

xj220

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Now that I have her number, I'll call her after Christmas and try to gauge things from there. Unfortunately, I won't be able to see her for another two weeks so now I've got to try and maintain interest over the phone. ****ing sweet.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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