"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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girl denying everything

rsofa

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My friend which is a girl has some problems..

I like her and me and my friends go out a lot...
But she has some kind of blockade..
She doesn't want to get attached to us, me.... because she fears of the possibility of us leaving her behind sooner or later...
I found those things up and she told me some..

what should i do?
I also really like her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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PeakIV

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You should keep her at arms length or have nothing to do with her. This girl has issues you couldn't possibly hope to deal with.

Read the BPD threads on this forum, their greatest fear is abandonment and they will deny everything.

If it walks like a duck.......
 

PeakIV

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put BPD into the sosuave search and read the threads, should answar your questions....
 

nroug7

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She's most likely a dragon in chickens clothing.

Yep, I'm coining a new term here. Dragon's in chickens clothing.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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rsofa

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Please, please I beg you... give me a link :(
I don't know if im stupid but I just get results that don't have nothing to do with my problem :S

edit*
found some stuff..well that makes me sad if all of that is true :(


but can u confirm its bpd?
- thinks everyone hates her
- likes cats really much
- doesnt have motivation to learn
- she had a secret bf before, they just went out for walks...nothing serius, but in the end they had a bad breakup
- she always thinks shes in the way
- mises her childhood
- but a really happy person

is there a way to fix this?
to let her know we love her.
when I said i like her and that shes beautiful, she said that no who would like such an ugly girl..
please tell me therese a way...im stubborn and ill do anything to fix this :( because she is really awesome
 
Last edited:

nroug7

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There is nothing you could do that would place you in a GOOD/HEALTHY Relationship with her, she will completely break you, destroy you and fvck with you emotionally.

It's not worth it.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1985826&postcount=72
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1986229&postcount=74
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1986947&postcount=81

Get, The, Hell, Out.

I cannot stress this enough, I would have been AFC enough to actually think a relationship like that would work a few weeks ago, but get the heck out of there now, she is nothing but bad news.
 

nroug7

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none of my replies seem to be showing up...

Edit: So how come my post containing links won't show up. Does it have to be approved by a moderator or something? I don't get it, cause if that's true that means I'm gonna have a quadruple post...
 

nroug7

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rsofa said:
Please, please I beg you... give me a link :(
I don't know if im stupid but I just get results that don't have nothing to do with my problem :S

edit*
found some stuff..well that makes me sad if all of that is true :(


but can u confirm its bpd?
- thinks everyone hates her
- likes cats really much
- doesnt have motivation to learn
- she had a secret bf before, they just went out for walks...nothing serius, but in the end they had a bad breakup
- she always thinks shes in the way
- mises her childhood
- but a really happy person

is there a way to fix this?
to let her know we love her.
when I said i like her and that shes beautiful, she said that no who would like such an ugly girl..
please tell me therese a way...im stubborn and ill do anything to fix this :( because she is really awesome
Hm, That sounds more like depression to me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Nite

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keep your distance especially if it's the the girl from before, gonna go out on a limb here.Your not gonna like it but, we will all say the same thing over and over regardless of what you want to hear. Just let her be.
 

nroug7

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Nite said:
keep your distance especially if it's the the girl from before, gonna go out on a limb here.Your not gonna like it but, we will all say the same thing over and over regardless of what you want to hear. Just let her be.
This is the golden truth, it's not worth the risk and any harm that WILL occur to you.
This is the kind of thing where your LIFE could literally be on the line, and that's expected, since she will expect you to be her "White Knight" and put up with whatever she dishes out.
 

rsofa

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theres nothing really to put up, cuz she isnt demanding...its just this "im not importaint" talk she has...
i dont know. i'm and idiot and wont stop sorry :D
 

LearningSlowly

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Its amazing when guys are as addicted to drama as their girls are. Theres no helping this sort of people, they just have to make mistakes until theyre incredibly unhappy, and then maybe theyll learn something.
 

rsofa

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I said to her that i love her more then anything, but she said that's not true because i dont love her and that probably she likes me more then I like her.
Why stuff like this?
I just cant let her know she's the only one. She thinks that im just saying things and not meaning them..
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BPH

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rsofa said:
I said to her that i love her more then anything, but she said that's not true because i dont love her and that probably she likes me more then I like her.
Why stuff like this?
I just cant let her know she's the only one. She thinks that im just saying things and not meaning them..
You have listened to no advice and are therefore hopeless.

Read some Pook or HPRJ's journal, make your own journal, and stop being an AFC.
 

rsofa

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all that was your advice was to let her go.
i need something else.
 

DanZy

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rsofa said:
all that was your advice was to let her go.
i need something else.
No you don't need anything else, what you need is to listen to what we have to say. Why was that the advice given? Because it was the right move. Don't ask for advice and then reject it without even trying. You ignored what people told you and fvcked things up further.
 

rsofa

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okay. ill read those things...but i have a feeling this is going nowhere
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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