Girl cries after sex

[Crissco]

Long story short known this girl for about 5 months, has sex with a condom on those times. Today we didnt. After sex she felt very guilty that she broke a promise to herself not to **** without a condom, cuz she did it once and had a nervous breakdown, waited 3 months for the tests to come back..etc..But she was in the fetal position, really upset, mind racing...She told me she prayed never to do that again and broke her promise and is upset about that...to add on shes pretty religious

On a side now she was sexual abused by her uncle from 11-14 which screws alot of things up for her mentally, yet you would never be able to tell bc she is a very stable person.

 

[Tiguere]

you rape her didnt you? bad crissco

 

[Crissco]

you rape her didnt you? bad crissco

lol..did u read what i wrote bro?

 

[Scars]

On a side now she was sexual abused by her uncle from 11-14 which screws alot of things up for her mentally, yet you would never be able to tell bc she is a very stable person.

There's your answer right there.

I had this happen to me once while I was visiting a friend in California and just so happened to seduce and sleep with her best friend. Right after she began crying but couldn't explain why. She kept reassuring me, "No, it was beautiful. Thank you.", "it has nothing to do with you, you were great", appropriately I was also holding her and being comforting at the same time. (This was quite awhile back before I knew about psychology, traumatic disorders, or even attention wh0res) I was still what you might consider a "newbie" although I still remember her specifically, she was the 8th girl I had ever slept with, and something about her completely troubled me.

I felt so bad for her, that I didn't really want to leave my vacation without getting her number and keeping in touch. This girl was very sweet and texted me for about a month everyday afterwards. She would right things like "I miss you" in the beach sand and take a picture of it and send it to me. She would take pictures of random things and tell me that they "remind her of me", she made it known everyday that she wanted to see me again (and soon). Then I later found out she was sexually abused and it all came together.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but you might be better off running away from this woman, unless you have extreme patience. Although she has been cooperative before with sex (while using a condom), she might later (once she has you enticed and comfortable..) use her sexual abusive past to avoid sex all together, which is extremely damaging to a man in a relationship. You might start to think that it's something you're doing wrong, and she will reassure you it's not, (and most likely it is true), but us men want sex. Plain and simple. Not only that, but she will carry her burden of emotions onto your shoulders. Anytime she has an outcry of her trauma you have to comfort her (and sometimes, you just don't have the energy or patience to do so..) and if you don't, then you just look like a complete assh0le. It's just going to be a huge giant headache. Another case of damaged goods my friend. I'm sorry to be the carrier of bad news, but save yourself the trouble man.

Good luck.

-Scars

 

[Z Man]

I had a religious background myself, and we were taught from an early age that anything sexual is bad until you are married, etc..

Anyway, Has she exhibited this kinda behavior over the last 5 months or is this the first time you have seen her behave this way?

And why were you not using a condom?

 

[Crissco]

There's your answer right there.

I had this happen to me once while I was visiting a friend in California and just so happened to seduce and sleep with her best friend. Right after she began crying but couldn't explain why. She kept reassuring me, "No, it was beautiful. Thank you.", "it has nothing to do with you, you were great", appropriately I was also holding her and being comforting at the same time. (This was quite awhile back before I knew about psychology, traumatic disorders, or even attention wh0res) I was still what you might consider a "newbie" although I still remember her specifically, she was the 8th girl I had ever slept with, and something about her completely troubled me.

I felt so bad for her, that I didn't really want to leave my vacation without getting her number and keeping in touch. This girl was very sweet and texted me for about a month everyday afterwards. She would right things like "I miss you" in the beach sand and take a picture of it and send it to me. She would take pictures of random things and tell me that they "remind her of me", she made it known everyday that she wanted to see me again (and soon). Then I later found out she was sexually abused and it all came together.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but you might be better off running away from this woman, unless you have extreme patience. Although she has been cooperative before with sex (while using a condom), she might later (once she has you enticed and comfortable..) use her sexual abusive past to avoid sex all together, which is extremely damaging to a man in a relationship. You might start to think that it's something you're doing wrong, and she will reassure you it's not, (and most likely it is true), but us men want sex. Plain and simple. Not only that, but she will carry her burden of emotions onto your shoulders. Anytime she has an outcry of her trauma you have to comfort her (and sometimes, you just don't have the energy or patience to do so..) and if you don't, then you just look like a complete assh0le. It's just going to be a huge giant headache. Another case of damaged goods my friend. I'm sorry to be the carrier of bad news, but save yourself the trouble man.

Good luck.

-Scars

We only hang out once a week so its not to bad. I got other FB's on the side so sex isnt a problem. Its the fact we both build up a connection over 5 months, I feel like i have to start all over again with someone different, seduce them...etc

Durring the whole escapade all I did was comfort her make sure was okay, we talked about being your own worst enemy and negative thoughts and have to fight through it, but I can tell alot of it went over her head though. Shes very strong on the outside but I can tell on the inside shes scared.

On a side note I already broke it off with her and she contacted me a month later. Maybe its heart but I feel bad to do it again especially with her "problems" The fact shes there for me a lot...etc

IMO She should go she a therapist but she refuses too.

I had a religious background myself, and we were taught from an early age that anything sexual is bad until you are married, etc..

Anyway, Has she exhibited this kinda behavior over the last 5 months or is this the first time you have seen her behave this way?

And why were you not using a condom?

She mentioned that too, but it was the sex part it more the non-using a condom and breaking a promise to her self to never do it again....

She did something like that once but it was fault bc i brough out a negative emotion bc i was concerned about something, wanted to know more about what happened and why...etc and she thought to deeply into it.


Didnt use a condom because we both were stuck in the moment and sometimes she doesnt want to have sex bc of her problems and time wasted equals me not being able to have sex...so being the idiot i am, i just stuck it in without thinking. And yes she was tested 2 months ago

 

[Scars]

That girl definitely needs to see a therapist. I'm just making sure you aren't having second thoughts of being "captain-save-a-h0", as a lot of guys try to be here. I don't know what your intentions are, but you already slept with her once (or a few times now), so your needs should have been met by now. And seeing as you are spinning other plates, it shouldn't be a real burden getting rid of her. I know it seems like an assh0le thing to do, but you can't save her. Not unless you get a medical license in psychological therapy and she becomes your patient. And even then, you can't "legally" have a relationship with her anyway.

My only worry is, you wouldn't had posted about her if you didn't have at least SOME emotional attachment to her. So I'm just hoping you can truly detach yourself and not just tell the rest of us you are. It's just like keeping a borderline around. You might want to put her in your spank bank for a rainy day, but you might quickly find yourself falling hard for her before you know it. It happens to the best of us. It's happened to me quite a few times. I just hope you truly eject.

-Scars

 

[Crissco]

That girl definitely needs to see a therapist. I'm just making sure you aren't having second thoughts of being "captain-save-a-h0", as a lot of guys try to be here. I don't know what your intentions are, but you already slept with her once (or a few times now), so your needs should have been met by now. And seeing as you are spinning other plates, it shouldn't be a real burden getting rid of her. I know it seems like an assh0le thing to do, but you can't save her. Not unless you get a medical license in psychological therapy and she becomes your patient. And even then, you can't "legally" have a relationship with her anyway.

My only worry is, you wouldn't had posted about her if you didn't have at least SOME emotional attachment to her. So I'm just hoping you can truly detach yourself and not just tell the rest of us you are. It's just like keeping a borderline around. You might want to put her in your spank bank for a rainy day, but you might quickly find yourself falling hard for her before you know it. It happens to the best of us. It's happened to me quite a few times. I just hope you truly eject.

-Scars

I hate to do it but your right bro. I know she cant be saved, always known that, one of the reasons I cut contact to beg with 2 months ago.

Theres no other way around it. Now its just how to do it. Stop talking all together or sit her down and explain to her she has to much emotional baggage for me to carry?


Chris

 

[Z Man]

I'm gonna have to agree with Scars, you gotta cut her loose or it won't end well..

I dated a girl last year several times, from my same religious background. I was over to her apt. We were making out on her couch and having conversation. She was laying down against the armrest away from me so I leaned over her for another kiss.
She freaked out, so I backed off and played it cool. She later revealed she had been raped in the past.

I tried to remain friendly over the next few months and encouraged her to talk to a therapist, but she refused, claiming she was dealing with it herself. I would go no contact on her, then after a week she would text me "Hey, whats up?" and I got pulled into her low self-esteem "woe is me" crap, and she would claim that I treat her well and I have done nothing wrong, yet she didn't want a relationship, blah,blah..

After a few more weeks of sporadic texts, her "husband" calls me and basically tells me to leave her alone, unless I want just friendship with her, since they are now married( eloped )! I remember ending the calling saying, "So she got to you too? Ok, I'm done!"

I deleted her number and didn't see her again for about six months. She was working the drive-thru at Taco Bell, LOL.

She beamed when she saw me, asked how I was doing. She had her fingers crossed as she waited for my response?

I shrugged, said I was doing well.. then I made the mistake of asking how she was:

*Says her husband was her ex from b4 she met me, they are now getting the marriage anulled..

*Says she is 6 months pregnant..

*Says she is planning to put the kid up for adoption (smartest thing she ever will do!)..
-
I said "Wow. you got a lot on your plate." I got my food and left. Good riddance!

Crissco, make sure your girl isn't pregnant, then run for the hills!

 

[Crissco]

I'm gonna have to agree with Scars, you gotta cut her loose or it won't end well..

I dated a girl last year several times, from my same religious background. I was over to her apt. We were making out on her couch and having conversation. She was laying down against the armrest away from me so I leaned over her for another kiss.
She freaked out, so I backed off and played it cool. She later revealed she had been raped in the past.

I tried to remain friendly over the next few months and encouraged her to talk to a therapist, but she refused, claiming she was dealing with it herself. I would go no contact on her, then after a week she would text me "Hey, whats up?" and I got pulled into her low self-esteem "woe is me" crap, and she would claim that I treat her well and I have done nothing wrong, yet she didn't want a relationship, blah,blah..

After a few more weeks of sporadic texts, her "husband" calls me and basically tells me to leave her alone, unless I want just friendship with her, since they are now married( eloped )! I remember ending the calling saying, "So she got to you too? Ok, I'm done!"

I deleted her number and didn't see her again for about six months. She was working the drive-thru at Taco Bell, LOL.

She beamed when she saw me, asked how I was doing. She had her fingers crossed as she waited for my response?

I shrugged, said I was doing well.. then I made the mistake of asking how she was:

*Says her husband was her ex from b4 she met me, they are now getting the marriage anulled..

*Says she is 6 months pregnant..

*Says she is planning to put the kid up for adoption (smartest thing she ever will do!)..
-
I said "Wow. you got a lot on your plate." I got my food and left. Good riddance!

Crissco, make sure your girl isn't pregnant, then run for the hills!

Thats one hell of a story bro. I honestly doubt shes pregnant bc i didnt ***, theres always pre *** but i still doubt it..

On the safe side... how long until she would find out? Edit- Just looked it up...3 weeks

 

[bigneil]

It's normal for a girl who was abused to cry after sex. It's also normal for them to tell you you're the greatest lover she ever had. It's also normal for them to call you at work to ask for directions when she gets lost on the way to see her other lover.

 

[joverby]

On a side now she was sexual abused by her uncle from 11-14 which screws alot of things up for her mentally, yet you would never be able to tell bc she is a very stable person.

That. Just like Scars said.

I wouldn't get too attached if I were you. That was the same exact situation with my EX.

You're probably going to find you're going to have a very turbulent sexual relationship with her.(Not banging very much / getting denied)

She(My EX) got really upset and I could tell was almost crying after she gave me a BJ before.

It's weird in the very beginning there wasn't any problems w/ it and she offered to blow me when she was on her peroid. Then it digressed pretty quickly.

It's a sh1tty situation for her. Especially if she's not over it yet, but it's not up to you to fix her. Nor can you. My EX was also a very stable girl(on the outside, but she really wasn't fully over it) but had trouble talking about any problems she had at all, would also lie about stupid sh1t quite a bit.(Watch out for any lies)


[Edit]: I just finished reading what Scars wrote. He's dead on, man. That describes my relationship to a "T." She like how I was talking about it wasn't a prob right away, but then later when we got comfortable it started going to sh1t, sexually. Which will fvck with your head. You will wonder what you're doing wrong, maybe she's cheating?(She's probably not , and it really will just be her trauma but good luck convincing yourself of that. Especially after it used to be fine.)

Do me a favor and be honest, have you caught her in ANY lies at all yet?(even small ones) Or have some things just not added up? Does she have problems talking about things that you can clearly tell are bugging her?(For me it was being able to tell, asking her, she denies it. I keep asking and finally get her to crack and say she doesn't want to talk about it)

 

[Zarky]

she's a religious nutcase who was molested when she was younger. Probably best to pump and dump?

 

[Crissco]

That. Just like Scars said.

I wouldn't get too attached if I were you. That was the same exact situation with my EX.

You're probably going to find you're going to have a very turbulent sexual relationship with her.(Not banging very much / getting denied)

She(My EX) got really upset and I could tell was almost crying after she gave me a BJ before.

It's weird in the very beginning there wasn't any problems w/ it and she offered to blow me when she was on her peroid. Then it digressed pretty quickly.

It's a sh1tty situation for her. Especially if she's not over it yet, but it's not up to you to fix her. Nor can you. My EX was also a very stable girl(on the outside, but she really wasn't fully over it) but had trouble talking about any problems she had at all, would also lie about stupid sh1t quite a bit.(Watch out for any lies)


[Edit]: I just finished reading what Scars wrote. He's dead on, man. That describes my relationship to a "T." She like how I was talking about it wasn't a prob right away, but then later when we got comfortable it started going to sh1t, sexually. Which will fvck with your head. You will wonder what you're doing wrong, maybe she's cheating?(She's probably not , and it really will just be her trauma but good luck convincing yourself of that. Especially after it used to be fine.)

Do me a favor and be honest, have you caught her in ANY lies at all yet?(even small ones) Or have some things just not added up? Does she have problems talking about things that you can clearly tell are bugging her?(For me it was being able to tell, asking her, she denies it. I keep asking and finally get her to crack and say she doesn't want to talk about it)

You hit the nail on the head. Every time I go whats on your mind, I can see something wrong it takes her forever to tell me thats if she does. So ive been doing the same thing back, I just tell her ill tell her later and makes her go crazy and then i get it out of her. But still everytime its the same thing with her, always thinking, always **** on her mind, always tries to figure it out by her self but she cant..

At times I do think certain things are my fault bc I never had this problem with anyother girl, then i realize its not me, its her.

Now the only problem is how to end it with out hurting her to bad.

 

[bigneil]

Every time I go whats on your mind...

That's just it - there's nothing on their mind, especially not us.

 

[Crissco]

That's just it - there's nothing on their mind, especially not us.

I realized that too..Its like almost a form of BPD, without the mood swings or the fighting

 

[bigneil]

PS - there always seems to be bisexuality involved with these girls who were molested and/or have BPD. I realized it may be secret lesbianism whereby they are faking the relationship.

"And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years."

Lennon/McCartney 1966

 

[Crissco]

PS - there always seems to be bisexuality involved with these girls who were molested and/or have BPD. I realized it may be secret lesbianism whereby they are faking the relationship.

"And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years."

Lennon/McCartney 1966

I called her out on that once about her being bisexual, which i think is hot, but thats besides the point, she denied it but i didnt believe it for a second.

 

[joverby]

PS - there always seems to be bisexuality involved with these girls who were molested and/or have BPD. I realized it may be secret lesbianism whereby they are faking the relationship.

"And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years."

Lennon/McCartney 1966

Spot on here too. My EX was Bi. But actually got the impression she like girls A LOT more than guys multiple times too. Including liking her best friend. But I could tell her friend didn't feel the same way back.

I know my EX was full on lesbo during highschool. I have a feeling she could of been faking liking guys as much as she did.

She also used to cut herself. BAAAD.(Serrated peices of glass even) Same for you Crisco?

Either way.

Bottom Line: Do you want to be with chick who's sexually damaged? As a result of that you will have to put up with mental anguish of why your being denied. Do you want to be with a chick who's sexuality / desire for you is questionable?

I wish I would've asked myself those types of questions sooner. Although I didn't find out she was molested until I was going to break up with her over it.

 

[n00bPimp]

Maybe you didn't do a good job?