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Girl canceling dates at the last moment

Goksjrr

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Hey,

I met this girl a few months ago and we have since met about 4 times (and fvcked every time) in my apartment. She is 18 yrs old and to me it seems that she doesn't have any plans for an LTR, me neither so that's fine. But today was the second time she flaked at the last hour. First time she said that she forgot our date and now she said that it's too late because she has to go to school early tomorrow. First time she suggested another time, but this time didn't although I know she would be down to meet if her schedule allows it. So how would you guys deal with this? Should I just be indifferent and tell her whatever let's meet another time, or should I make it clear that if she continues flaking at the last hour, I'll just drop her?
 

SoSuave666

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Go out with other plates, let her do the initiating. That will tell you if she is interested.

At 18 she is going to have loads of options...and is probably living the life of a free 18 yo will all of them. I suggest you do the same
 

Goksjrr

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Go out with other plates, let her do the initiating. That will tell you if she is interested.

At 18 she is going to have loads of options...and is probably living the life of a free 18 yo will all of them. I suggest you do the same
I just responded to her "ok". And she responded ":D so apparently you didn't even care?" Should I respond or just ignore? I do have other plates to meet (and have a date set up for Sunday).
 

Goksjrr

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Ignore. Let her initiate again.
I'm sure she would be down to meet another time, maybe even tomorrow if I suggested it. Would you really still just ignore her and let her do the initiation? Considering the situation which is that either of us are not looking for anything more than just hooking up, and I really don't mind having to be the chaser IF it's okay. Easy pvssy that is, while spinning other plates. I'm asking this because with this kind of approach, there's a very high risk of losing this plate.
 

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Alvafe

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and she is playing with you, the last 2 dates was to gauge what you would do, after you ok, if she really send you that msg you should ignore let her come to you at least 3 times, and when asked say you are busy, and for this to work, get busy for real, spin more plates
 

Goksjrr

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after you ok, if she really send you that msg you should ignore let her come to you at least 3 times, and when asked say you are busy, and for this to work, get busy for real, spin more
She didn't flake on consecutive dates. Last date was without any flaking but before that she did flake.
 

IKO69

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it's a very disrespectful thing to do. don't talk to her ever again.
 

Trump

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I just responded to her "ok". And she responded ":D so apparently you didn't even care?" Should I respond or just ignore?
Baiting response by her.

As mentioned, ignore.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hey,

I met this girl a few months ago and we have since met about 4 times (and fvcked every time) in my apartment. She is 18 yrs old and to me it seems that she doesn't have any plans for an LTR, me neither so that's fine. But today was the second time she flaked at the last hour. First time she said that she forgot our date and now she said that it's too late because she has to go to school early tomorrow. First time she suggested another time, but this time didn't although I know she would be down to meet if her schedule allows it. So how would you guys deal with this? Should I just be indifferent and tell her whatever let's meet another time, or should I make it clear that if she continues flaking at the last hour, I'll just drop her?
Next her.

Women have a bag of ****s called a cell phone. Flake last minute means really low interest. Meanwhile new girls are turning 18 everyday.



Enjoy the rest of your life commitment free.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I'm sure she would be down to meet another time, maybe even tomorrow if I suggested it. Would you really still just ignore her and let her do the initiation? Considering the situation which is that either of us are not looking for anything more than just hooking up, and I really don't mind having to be the chaser IF it's okay. Easy pvssy that is, while spinning other plates. I'm asking this because with this kind of approach, there's a very high risk of losing this plate.
You must learn that you can't make her want you by chasing her. She has to want you. If she wants you, she will contact you. Your chasing her will lower her attraction to you. Sounds like you've basically already lost her. Keep chasing and you'll guarantee that.
 

Dash Riprock

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And I'm sure she will be down for flaking on you again.

Make her work a little more.
EXACTLY.

She reacted when you casually said ok, no problem so you have her where you want her. Ping her in two weeks if you don't hear sooner and ask her when she's free so she can't (or a lesser chance anyway) bail on your recommended plan. Whatever you do, DON'T CHASE.
 

Goksjrr

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Next her.

Women have a bag of ****s called a cell phone. Flake last minute means really low interest. Meanwhile new girls are turning 18 everyday.

Enjoy the rest of your life commitment free.
I've been here on the forum since 2012 after my first breakup, and I'd say I know the philosophy of DJ pretty well, but sometimes I wonder if your just doing yourself a disservice by being TOO strict with these "rules". Women want you to chase her, because it makes them feel important and wanted, and this does NOT mean that she thinks you're an AFC by doing that, IF you still have your own values and make rules. That way women are even more attracted to guys who are willing to fight for them even for a little bit.

So I think while it's good to not tolerate her flaking or something else that she might do, it's better to tell her what you think of it and that way you still have the control of the situation AND have potentially even more attracted girl in your hands. She wants you to keep her in her place and make the rules. That's the fighting part. But if you'd to just "next her" or go NC till she gets back to you there's higher possibility that she loses her interest and attraction which WAS there, until she felt that you don't even care about her by being too indifferent.

EXACTLY.

She reacted when you casually said ok, no problem so you have her where you want her. Ping her in two weeks if you don't hear sooner and ask her when she's free so she can't (or a lesser chance anyway) bail on your recommended plan. Whatever you do, DON'T CHASE.
This is better approach, although you'd still make it unnecessarily hard by going NC for 2 weeks. I know that this way of going by this saves you from being desperate and, even worse, having a oneitis, but this way of going by also misses out on many potential candidates for a future LTR. If you're planning to be single and not even entertaining the thought of having a LTR, then this kind of approach is the best in my opinion. Now that I think of it, which makes her feel more that you're sulking, by not talking to her for 2 weeks and then pinging her asking what's up, or by just simply telling her what you think of her flaking and setting the rules like a man, follow them or have a nice life..? To me it feels like the latter would be the way to go.

You must learn that you can't make her want you by chasing her. She has to want you. If she wants you, she will contact you. Your chasing her will lower her attraction to you. Sounds like you've basically already lost her. Keep chasing and you'll guarantee that.
Maybe the word "chasing" is wrong. The better word for it would be "caring". Caring for her by telling her what she did wrong makes her feel that she's not just a toy to you and are willing to make things work if she obeys and this makes HER want YOU. I mean, why would she want someone who doesn't even care to tell why he's ignoring her? How could she build her attraction to someone who's not there? And in this situation the girl is just a 18 yr old, I bet she doesn't even recognize what she did wrong.

This is an honest thought which I've been struggling to figure out, because I've seen so many situations where the guy hasn't given up so easily and that has worked out well. Remembering that a man who fights for his woman is not an AFC, if he doesn't do it desperately and is willing to walk away at anytime. And believe you me, I'm not the type of guy(anymore) to cry for a girl, because I very well know that there's loads of fish in the ocean.
 
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Infern0

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It's rude and/or passive aggressive behavior.

She should be shuffled to the back of your list of priorities, if she wants to put in the work to move back to nearer the top, cool. If not, you haven't lost anything worth stressing over.
 

Goksjrr

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It's rude and/or passive aggressive behavior.

She should be shuffled to the back of your list of priorities, if she wants to put in the work to move back to nearer the top, cool. If not, you haven't lost anything worth stressing over.
There's a lot of women who won't initiate because they think that a man has to be the one to do the initiation, even if they're highly interested. So what do you exactly mean by putting in the work? If she doesn't get back to me while I'm enjoying my NC, then she's gone? This is what I meant by missing out on potential candidates by being too strict.

Also, what do you think of just responding: "you flaked again. not cool." - or something along the lines, instead of just ignoring? There's the "caring" part, but still a little bit of indifference.
 

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backseatjuan

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Even though tough love is good, by all the rules you should move her back for flaking, I'd say she is 18, and a nice fvck buddy. There is no need to be harsh on her, call perhaps once in a while, maybe she's down for it. I'd say it's even good idea to go pick her up and bring her home. For so long as she's down for some good sex, why not provide it to her, all the while keeping in mind she is only 18 and there is a lot of fun for her out there, which is totally fine.
 

samspade

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Ignore for now, place on back burner, but don't next. Circle back when you feel like it (a few days) or if she reaches out, engage.

Women are gonna flake, especially an 18 year old. A hard next is not necessary, especially if you want to take another shot at her. But she should work a little harder if it's going to happen.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I've been here on the forum since 2012 after my first breakup, and I'd say I know the philosophy of DJ pretty well, but sometimes I wonder if your just doing yourself a disservice by being TOO strict with these "rules". Women want you to chase her, because it makes them feel important and wanted, and this does NOT mean that she thinks you're an AFC by doing that, IF you still have your own values and make rules. That way women are even more attracted to guys who are willing to fight for them even for a little bit.
Maybe maybe not.

Grown men do grown men things. DJ is fine. Its not even about DJer, miscer, pua, or whatever. Its absolutely about execution.

There's nothing I can do with flaking but bury her. Not literally but subjectively. Bish is dead to me. I wont mourn her loss. I will go get more baeeeees on top form SMV.

#YOLO!

So I think while it's good to not tolerate her flaking or something else that she might do, it's better to tell her what you think of it and that way you still have the control of the situation AND have potentially even more attracted girl in your hands. She wants you to keep her in her place and make the rules. That's the fighting part. But if you'd to just "next her" or go NC till she gets back to you there's higher possibility that she loses her interest and attraction which WAS there, until she felt that you don't even care about her by being too indifferent.
You could be 100% correct but zero ****kkks given.

I run a tight ship. I lead. She follows or next.

No exceptions.

You don't excuse bad behaviour.

A real OG from rsdnation had a saying, "i don't chase. I replace."

She drew blood. You excuse it?

There's a guy on rmg. He was in the army and his gf cucked him.

He responded with marrying her and having children with her. Likely, not his.

Everyone is pedaling their b/s. Pick your poison. If i were to guess, she jumped off the bigger, better prizes ****.

If you hear from her, its after the carousel.

This is better approach, although you'd still make it unnecessarily hard by going NC for 2 weeks. I know that this way of going by this saves you from being desperate and, even worse, having a oneitis, but this way of going by also misses out on many potential candidates for a future LTR. If you're planning to be single and not even entertaining the thought of having a LTR, then this kind of approach is the best in my opinion. Now that I think of it, which makes her feel more that you're sulking, by not talking to her for 2 weeks and then pinging her asking what's up, or by just simply telling her what you think of her flaking and setting the rules like a man, follow them or have a nice life..? To me it feels like the latter would be the way to go.
I don't give a flying ****.

The prerequisite is feminine, submissive, dtf.

Top form SMV 18-23 baeeeees or gtfo.

Any ****ery is grounds for disregard. Please, gimme a excuse to go get more.

Maybe the word "chasing" is wrong. The better word for it would be "caring". Caring for her by telling her what she did wrong makes her feel that she's not just a toy to you and are willing to make things work if she obeys and this makes HER want YOU. I mean, why would she want someone who doesn't even care to tell why he's ignoring her? How could she build her attraction to someone who's not there? And in this situation the girl is just a 18 yr old, I bet she doesn't even recognize what she did wrong.
You can't be half a gangster.

You're begging to get cucked.

This is an honest thought which I've been struggling to figure out, because I've seen so many situations where the guy hasn't given up so easily and that has worked out well. Remembering that a man who fights for his woman is not an AFC, if he doesn't do it desperately and is willing to walk away at anytime. And believe you me, I'm not the type of guy(anymore) to cry for a girl, because I very well know that there's loads of fish in the ocean.
Worked out well, how? Like tanner marrying a hoe who cucked him?

Rollo, the godfather of red pill marrying the epiphany phase?

What are men competing for? There's a sacrificial element to Being as such by default. The idealism for being a husband, a father, and having a family once held value.

It is a relic of once upon a time along with masculinity for the most part.

Ask yourself, would a man in the 50s tolerate this behaviour? How about a Muslim under Islam living in a mud hutt with unhygienic toe nails?

Its unacceptable. She played her card. Next her.

Kill the boy, end your miserable blue pill ideal before divorce rape finds you.

There is no quality women. There's only women. Female nature is hypergamy on steroids. Its just about optimisation or lack thereof. If you are to play game, both parties must be present.

Anyway, we both know what you are doing. I'll quit now and direct my energies to something more useful while you consider what frame you are following.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I've been here on the forum since 2012 after my first breakup, and I'd say I know the philosophy of DJ pretty well, but sometimes I wonder if your just doing yourself a disservice by being TOO strict with these "rules". Women want you to chase her, because it makes them feel important and wanted, and this does NOT mean that she thinks you're an AFC by doing that, IF you still have your own values and make rules. That way women are even more attracted to guys who are willing to fight for them even for a little bit.

So I think while it's good to not tolerate her flaking or something else that she might do, it's better to tell her what you think of it and that way you still have the control of the situation AND have potentially even more attracted girl in your hands. She wants you to keep her in her place and make the rules. That's the fighting part. But if you'd to just "next her" or go NC till she gets back to you there's higher possibility that she loses her interest and attraction which WAS there, until she felt that you don't even care about her by being too indifferent.



This is better approach, although you'd still make it unnecessarily hard by going NC for 2 weeks. I know that this way of going by this saves you from being desperate and, even worse, having a oneitis, but this way of going by also misses out on many potential candidates for a future LTR. If you're planning to be single and not even entertaining the thought of having a LTR, then this kind of approach is the best in my opinion. Now that I think of it, which makes her feel more that you're sulking, by not talking to her for 2 weeks and then pinging her asking what's up, or by just simply telling her what you think of her flaking and setting the rules like a man, follow them or have a nice life..? To me it feels like the latter would be the way to go.



Maybe the word "chasing" is wrong. The better word for it would be "caring". Caring for her by telling her what she did wrong makes her feel that she's not just a toy to you and are willing to make things work if she obeys and this makes HER want YOU. I mean, why would she want someone who doesn't even care to tell why he's ignoring her? How could she build her attraction to someone who's not there? And in this situation the girl is just a 18 yr old, I bet she doesn't even recognize what she did wrong.

This is an honest thought which I've been struggling to figure out, because I've seen so many situations where the guy hasn't given up so easily and that has worked out well. Remembering that a man who fights for his woman is not an AFC, if he doesn't do it desperately and is willing to walk away at anytime. And believe you me, I'm not the type of guy(anymore) to cry for a girl, because I very well know that there's loads of fish in the ocean.
"Fight for" a woman? You are aware when they desire they will fight for you and will br bothering you right? There's nothing to fight for

All this extra effort on a half interested chick feeds her ego and makes it harder for you.
 

Goksjrr

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"Fight for" a woman? You are aware when they desire they will fight for you and will br bothering you right? There's nothing to fight for

All this extra effort on a half interested chick feeds her ego and makes it harder for you.
No, not everyone. I've felt and dealt with those too. But it is highly dependent on the person - some girls do everything to show you their interest and some aren't that aggressive, but show it by accepting your initiation. And for that "fighting for" a woman; I'm aware that you should not try to chase her desperately, but at least acknowledge her by setting your own rules and letting her know about them. It can be nonchalant, but the idea is to tell her when you don't tolerate something, rather than just nexting her because she did a wrong move.

And as for this situation, as I said earlier, you see I'm not looking for anything more than some casual sechs with this girl, so while I don't give a fvck whether she's fully or half interested, I could still see her, because it doesn't bother me.
 
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