Girl at work....how to respond?

[jnMissouri]

Long story short, my female friend at work (girl A) took me out for a lunch with our mutual colleague who is her friend, an attractive single female (girl B). I later realized it was a lunch date of sorts so I started flirting with girl B.

Next thing you know, she got my number from her friend and texts me a few days later. We texted back and forth a bit. I got busy so I had to arrange a date a week out or so.

Well that was today. She pinged me to see if I was still up for a few drinks but I had already left for the day. Note, she responds with basically the same thing that I say each time I text her. If I say I have been busy, she will text me back that she has been busy too, etc. So I told her I already left for the day and that I'm under the weather. She tells me the same thing (yet she had just texted me minutes prior asking about a few drinks....).

There is obvious interest. I'm tempted to respond back with either:

A) Because she is such a good friend, next time she is tired and hungry I will stop by her place and cook dinner for her....I'm basically using a bit of game to say friends first/before she can but also sending a mixed signal since I'm inviting myself over for dinner...

B) I can say she is probably tired because she was up all night thinking of me, haha...

C) Wait and text her another day about drinks.

D) _______________________________________________

I worry if I say friends (David DeAngelo technique) she will respond with the same. But I'm hopeful that I'm sending mixed signals, moving two steps forward, one step back, etc. Or I may just be killing the tension.


Thoughts?

 

[marmel75]

Her interest is high enough it really doesnt matter what you do. Other than get her out. Always remember attraction has an expiration date no matter how high it is.

 

[jnMissouri]

Her interest is high enough it really doesnt matter what you do. Other than get her out. Always remember attraction has an expiration date.

For sure, I know my window will close soon. Do you think option A is perhaps the best option? Other than getting her out soon? Who knows, she may take me up on cooking her dinner with option A...

 

[marmel75]

For sure, I know my window will close soon. Do you think option A is perhaps the best option? Other than getting her out soon? Who knows, she may take me up on cooking her dinner with option A...

If you dont try it you wont ever know. I doubt she would lose any interest even if she didnt go for it, so I don't see what it would hurt.

 

[jnMissouri]

If you dont try it you wont ever know. I doubt she would lose any interest even if she didnt go for it, so I don't see what it would hurt.

Boom, good advice. I sent the text. I will report back what she says when/if she texts back. I've been playing it cool not texting too much largely because I'm busy so her texts have slowed to match my pace (albeit more frequent than my pace) so it may be a while. Plus I'm sure she will check with girl A to see what she should text back. I saw them earlier today and it was obvious she was talking to her friend who introduced us about our conversations.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Option A

 

[jnMissouri]

If you dont try it you wont ever know. I doubt she would lose any interest even if she didnt go for it, so I don't see what it would hurt.

Yeah, she responded back with a hahahaha within a few minutes, then about an hour later sent a couple other texts saying maybe sometime, hehehehe (just like that), indicating she is flirting back (English is not her first language).

So I saw her at an office function Friday, but we both played it cool like nothing is going on since we were in front of a bunch of people. Soooo, I'm thinking about texting her and asking if she has any plans Tuesday. If she doesn't, I'll let her know she can join me for a drink after work. Thoughts?

 

[marmel75]

Dont even ask if she has any plans. Just say "I'm going for a drink after work Tuesday, feel free to join me if you'd like."

You do you...if she wants to tag along great.

 

[wifehunter]

She's mirroring you. Never underestimate the human desire for power. It's in us all. She's moving quick to get the upperhand.

Careful, or you'll be her b!tch, and have to ask permission and get approval for all kinds of stuff.

Prepare for sh!t tests.

 

[jnMissouri]

So we are meeting up for drinks after work later this week. Some logistical concerns:

-Do you go for the kiss or not? I kissed 95% of my dates at my place when I got them back. But many dates out where I didn't bring a girl back and didn't kiss her or try to, I never heard back. It's hit or miss. So look for signs to go for it when I walk her to her car or play it cool?
-Who pays? I say I pay so I can use it as an excuse for her to cook me dinner next time. Plus I invited her out.
-Sit at the bar or get a booth/table. On the one hand I like the bar because we automatically sit next to her setting me up for kino, but on the other hand lot's of times other people join the conversation, including the bartender. In a booth it seems strange if we sit next to each other instead of across from each other.

I've had it go either way in the past and then some. I figure since I invited her out I pay, plus like I said, it gives me another in to get her to invite me over next time...

I plan on using a fair amount of kino...hand in the small of her back as she walks through the door, brush her hair behind her ear, etc.

 

[devilkingx2]

-Do you go for the kiss or not? I kissed 95% of my dates at my place when I got them back. But many dates out where I didn't bring a girl back and didn't kiss her or try to, I never heard back. It's hit or miss. So look for signs to go for it when I walk her to her car or play it cool?

Go for the kiss if it's going well, don't if it isn't.

-Who pays? I say I pay so I can use it as an excuse for her to cook me dinner next time. Plus I invited her out.

Pay if you wanna pay, split it if you want to split it.

It only matters if the date is going really well (definitely pay so there's no chance of her getting turned off of ****ing you) or really badly (definitely don't waste money)

-Sit at the bar or get a booth/table. On the one hand I like the bar because we automatically sit next to her setting me up for kino, but on the other hand lot's of times other people join the conversation, including the bartender. In a booth it seems strange if we sit next to each other instead of across from each other.

Maybe get a table/booth and sit next to her anyway?

 

[Atom Smasher]

You guys have got to get over the "Who pays?" thing. I always cringe when I see this.

Here's how the game works: The man invites her out. He pays. He determines if she is worthy of being in his life. Part of that qualification is his determination of whether she will potentially submit to him in the long run.

We need to stop ruminating about whether the bill should be spit. It shouldn't. That shouldn't even be going through your mind. By paying, you are beginning to establish dominance, and demonstrating generosity.

With my girlfriend, after a few months I started "musing" about how it's nice when a woman pays once in a while and invests in the relationship, and now she treats me to dinner out fairly frequently.

Women feel creeped-out and embarrassed when asked to split the bill on a first date, and your value in her eyes goes waaaaay down. Don't even consider this. This is not a value-for-value proposition. Let her pay later if you guys work that out, but on the first date, just pay and demonstrate your generosity.

As an aside, personally I'm very much against dinner or drinks on a first date (if one is looking for a relationship). Action dates are much more productive for me. She has to earn dinner by demonstrating serious interest first.

 

[jnMissouri]

She's mirroring you. Never underestimate the human desire for power. It's in us all. She's moving quick to get the upperhand.

Careful, or you'll be her b!tch, and have to ask permission and get approval for all kinds of stuff.

Prepare for sh!t tests.

Yeah, I got tested maybe. She cancelled our date early in the day, maybe 6 hours before because she had so much work to do....this is the same girl who was down with me going to her place to cook her dinner sometime....

I just played it cool and told her not to worry about it. Exchanged a couple work friendly texts about where one of my other colleagues who we are both friends with is about a week later. Saw her at a holiday function that same day as those last texts. She was rubbing/touching my arm and mirroring me (I handed her a plate, she handed me a fork, etc.). Have not talked to her since, just playing it cool since I'm dating two other girls anyways (banging one in the bathroom that is NEXT to this girls office). Not sure if my window has closed here or what. I'm not too worried about it since it's risky dating girls at work.