"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Girl at College

knglerxt

Senior Don Juan
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There's this girl that I'm interested in at college. She's a graduate student, and works at the campus health center. I see her every Monday since I'm actually going to counseling there. I'm in counseling because I'm 25 years old, and never had a girlfriend or anything. I've had severe depression and anxiety as a result.

One potential problem is that I'm sure by now she's noticed I go there to see the counselor. I don't know how most girls view this. Do they think you're wierd or something?

The main problem is this: I've always been a quiet guy. I don't even talk that much around my own family members. It's just my personality. I've set it in my mind to talk to this girl, but everytime I get the opportunity I end up saying nothing. One reason for this is most of the time the head nurse is sitting right beside her. I would prefer to talk to her when she's alone.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
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never had a girlfriend or anything. I've had severe depression and anxiety as a result.
No. That's not why you are depressed. I know this because depressed people who get a girlfriend generally stay depressed. Having a girlfriend doesn't cure crap, so don't worry about being single.

Don't worry about the fact that you're seeing a counselor. For all she knows, you could be seeing one because of a drug addiction, nothing wierd about that!

The problem is, flirting in front of an audience when you're already shy. I don't think your confidence is at that level yet. You should work hard on joining groups and learning how to make friends fast.

Try to stop yourself from thinking of one girl too much. Any girl will reject most guys PERIOD. You don't want to get all wrapped up in some girl who may not like you (or may turn out to be an idiot). You don't want to fear rejection.
 

swaptrex

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being single is sweet, believe me if you have a few gf's that carry emotions it shows you that being single isn't that bad. not getting laid sucks though, but oh well.
 

tuxen

Don Juan
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Gold Coast, Australia
Well if your committed to changing thats the important thing. Take baby steps, start talking to people more.

Like ive mentioned in other posts, ask basic things:
-how to get somewhere
-ask for the time
-ask the checkout chick at the supermarket how her day is
-in a coffee shop ask what coffee they recommend

doesn't matter if its a guy or girl, just try to get use to interacting more, this will help build your confidence and make it easier to talk to girls you like. Try to make eye contact with people you talk to, as an exercise take note of their eye colour when you speak to them.

Also as others have said, try not to get too hung up on 1 girl.
 
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