"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

GIrl #1 sees me sarging Girl #2 at bookstore... how to handle?

tihash

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At Barnes and Noble today.

Girl #1: Open her in the Self Help section. She is 30 or so, and during the sarge, can tell she realizes slowly she is actually meeting someone at a bookstore. She is smart, cute, and well educated. We talk culture, college, etc for about 10-15 min. Get her number. Excuse myself to go find my male friend. That part is true, I was there with a buddy. Girl #1 is dressed normally, etc.

While I was talking to Girl #1, I see Girl #2 walk in. It was not hard to notice Girl #2. She is wearing club-wear-type-clothing at the B&N at 5pm on a Saturday afternoon: a short dress, very high heels, etc. She definitely stands out. She is from the Ukraine, very sexual vibe the whole time, could have probably gotten her to instadate if I didn't have elsewhere to go with my friend. Get her number.

Problem is that Girl #1 walks past (out of earshot) and does a double-take at me talking to Girl #2. Girl #1 never saw me with my male friend in the store.

I like them both. Do I proceed as usual with Girl #1 (i.e., call tomorrow, shoot the ****, and schedule a date)? I was thinking to compensate, maybe I call Girl #1 right away to demonstrate exceptional interest in her?

Of course, all of this is moot if Girl #1 fails to answer b/c she is pissed or whatever.

Advice?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Zarky

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My opinion, YMMV:

I would proceed as normal with girl 1. Be prepared for her to ask about girl 2. If she does, tell her in a joking way that it was your sister on her way home from church. Make the story more and more ridiculous the more questions she asks.

For some reason this type of thing always works for me.
 

L B

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Proceed as you normally would. You owe no obligation to anyone at this stage.
 

jophil28

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Zarky said:
My opinion, YMMV:

I would proceed as normal with girl 1. Be prepared for her to ask about girl 2. If she does, tell her in a joking way that it was your sister on her way home from church. Make the story more and more ridiculous the more questions she asks.

For some reason this type of thing always works for me.
Yes, proceed as per SOP.
When you call girl #1 use her natural curiosity to your advantage. She will be dying to know whether you have called or dated #2, and she MUST know what you think of #2 by way or camparison with herself. Women are fiercely competitive and compulsively envious of other women.

Girl#1, "So do you always cruise bookstores to pickup chicks ?( she is tryng to get you to 'fess up to your sarging habits, AND she wants you on the defensive already)

You, " Ha ha - yeah the women I meet there are smarter than the usuals I meet at Baskin Robbins."

Girl #1, " So have you called that other chick yet ? The one in THOSE HEELS. YOu seemed to be very interested in her." ( There is the head shot question that you do NOT want to answer)

You, " Didn't have too - she stalked me, late night drive-by's , she camped out on my lawn - had to get a restaining order. I get a lot of that .."

The idea is NOT to ever submit to a woman interrogation. You owe nobody an explanation or a justification of your personal pickup style.
IT is much more effective to agree with a woman's probing and challenging questions rather that deny them.
INCREASE your mysterty and intrigue (and her confusion and anxiety) by using exaggerated humor to push the convo to the edge of the ridiculous. Curiously, anxiety and confusion amplify a woman's attraction towards man. Nobody ever said this makes and sense !

OK. now, this is inportant. Wait until she is laughing loudly at your C&F and then, as she 'comes down' and takes a breath, ask her out in a dominant manner..(she is emotionally primed by now )

( there are several threads on this forum about HOW to ask a woman out. And David D does a decent job on the topic too )
 

tihash

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Update

Have a coffee date with #2 tonight. Called #1, no answer, left message, no return call. That is what I feared. Oh, well. Next!

But lesson learned... when i meet the girl of my dreams (neither of these 2 are) then I will walk the f out once I get the digits and not screw it up. lol
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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jophil28

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tihash said:
But lesson learned... when i meet the girl of my dreams (neither of these 2 are) then I will walk the f out once I get the digits and not screw it up. lol
Dude, you are taking this way too seriously. IT is supposed to be FUN . FUN WITH WOMEN....
You are approaching dating as if you are auditioning for a life companion.

Ease out a little.

MY guess is that girl#1 may be picking up on your need to have a serious LTR( "girl of my dreams") and she is keeping her distance because you are radiating NEED.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Hash,
I thought you were doing rather well until You tell me you are contacting #1 girl and all downcast because she doesn't reply....Seeing #2 girl and behaving as you did in a nonchalent manner is being a DJ,#1 girl will wait the statutory two days then play hard to get....you have her bluffed.
 
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