"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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GIrl #1 sees me sarging Girl #2 at bookstore... how to handle?

tihash

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At Barnes and Noble today.

Girl #1: Open her in the Self Help section. She is 30 or so, and during the sarge, can tell she realizes slowly she is actually meeting someone at a bookstore. She is smart, cute, and well educated. We talk culture, college, etc for about 10-15 min. Get her number. Excuse myself to go find my male friend. That part is true, I was there with a buddy. Girl #1 is dressed normally, etc.

While I was talking to Girl #1, I see Girl #2 walk in. It was not hard to notice Girl #2. She is wearing club-wear-type-clothing at the B&N at 5pm on a Saturday afternoon: a short dress, very high heels, etc. She definitely stands out. She is from the Ukraine, very sexual vibe the whole time, could have probably gotten her to instadate if I didn't have elsewhere to go with my friend. Get her number.

Problem is that Girl #1 walks past (out of earshot) and does a double-take at me talking to Girl #2. Girl #1 never saw me with my male friend in the store.

I like them both. Do I proceed as usual with Girl #1 (i.e., call tomorrow, shoot the ****, and schedule a date)? I was thinking to compensate, maybe I call Girl #1 right away to demonstrate exceptional interest in her?

Of course, all of this is moot if Girl #1 fails to answer b/c she is pissed or whatever.

Advice?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zarky

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My opinion, YMMV:

I would proceed as normal with girl 1. Be prepared for her to ask about girl 2. If she does, tell her in a joking way that it was your sister on her way home from church. Make the story more and more ridiculous the more questions she asks.

For some reason this type of thing always works for me.
 

L B

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Proceed as you normally would. You owe no obligation to anyone at this stage.
 

jophil28

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Zarky said:
My opinion, YMMV:

I would proceed as normal with girl 1. Be prepared for her to ask about girl 2. If she does, tell her in a joking way that it was your sister on her way home from church. Make the story more and more ridiculous the more questions she asks.

For some reason this type of thing always works for me.
Yes, proceed as per SOP.
When you call girl #1 use her natural curiosity to your advantage. She will be dying to know whether you have called or dated #2, and she MUST know what you think of #2 by way or camparison with herself. Women are fiercely competitive and compulsively envious of other women.

Girl#1, "So do you always cruise bookstores to pickup chicks ?( she is tryng to get you to 'fess up to your sarging habits, AND she wants you on the defensive already)

You, " Ha ha - yeah the women I meet there are smarter than the usuals I meet at Baskin Robbins."

Girl #1, " So have you called that other chick yet ? The one in THOSE HEELS. YOu seemed to be very interested in her." ( There is the head shot question that you do NOT want to answer)

You, " Didn't have too - she stalked me, late night drive-by's , she camped out on my lawn - had to get a restaining order. I get a lot of that .."

The idea is NOT to ever submit to a woman interrogation. You owe nobody an explanation or a justification of your personal pickup style.
IT is much more effective to agree with a woman's probing and challenging questions rather that deny them.
INCREASE your mysterty and intrigue (and her confusion and anxiety) by using exaggerated humor to push the convo to the edge of the ridiculous. Curiously, anxiety and confusion amplify a woman's attraction towards man. Nobody ever said this makes and sense !

OK. now, this is inportant. Wait until she is laughing loudly at your C&F and then, as she 'comes down' and takes a breath, ask her out in a dominant manner..(she is emotionally primed by now )

( there are several threads on this forum about HOW to ask a woman out. And David D does a decent job on the topic too )
 

tihash

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Update

Have a coffee date with #2 tonight. Called #1, no answer, left message, no return call. That is what I feared. Oh, well. Next!

But lesson learned... when i meet the girl of my dreams (neither of these 2 are) then I will walk the f out once I get the digits and not screw it up. lol
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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jophil28

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tihash said:
But lesson learned... when i meet the girl of my dreams (neither of these 2 are) then I will walk the f out once I get the digits and not screw it up. lol
Dude, you are taking this way too seriously. IT is supposed to be FUN . FUN WITH WOMEN....
You are approaching dating as if you are auditioning for a life companion.

Ease out a little.

MY guess is that girl#1 may be picking up on your need to have a serious LTR( "girl of my dreams") and she is keeping her distance because you are radiating NEED.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Hash,
I thought you were doing rather well until You tell me you are contacting #1 girl and all downcast because she doesn't reply....Seeing #2 girl and behaving as you did in a nonchalent manner is being a DJ,#1 girl will wait the statutory two days then play hard to get....you have her bluffed.
 
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