"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
gift
- Thread starter Norp
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
In short, do less than she expects. It's better to underwhem than overwhelm. It's better to have her think you're an unfeeling jerk. It's better to have her angry at you.
NOTHING. (When you care enough to send the very best)
Please excuse this flame:
YOU ARE AN IDIOT!
Okay now on with my thoughts:
I agree that if you JUST started seeing a girl for a couple weeks than there should be no reason to get her anything. But even after a month a card is not a bad idea. No it shouldn't be fancy or say that you love her. There is nothing wrong with a funny card at any stage in a relationship.
How in the world is it better to have her think that you are an unfeeling jerk? Or to have her angry at you?
Will THAT get you laid? I highly doubt it.
If you don't want to buy her gifts than what is wrong with a simple card and dinner? Being too over the top is one thing, but being an a$$hole is something else. I understand that Valentines isn't a big holiday or anything and really I'm not too crazy about it myself. You can do things that aren't expensive, but still show that you weren't trying to be cheap. And that you CARE. GOSH FORBID!
Good Luck Norp.
Chubbs Peterson
Senior Don Juan
Your question is a little too open and vague.
To get a satisfactory answer, I suggest you be a little more specific with your situation. Giving any kind of gift to a woman is contingent on the type of relationship you have with her and the status of that relationship.
RKTek gave you a good general rule of thumb if you've actually been dating this girl.
Giving her a card after only a month of dating would only be permissable IF you have no prior history of buying her gifts.
If you are seeing this girl, remember that not too many woman are going to actually LEAVE a guy simply because he hasn't given her gifts or other tokens of affection. Offering myself as an example, MY own longest relationships were with girls to whom I gave absolutely NOTHING. The only thing I gave them on occasion was my time. And that's it.
VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2002
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I've also recieved a good book as a gift for V-day and loved that.
Personally, I think cards are dumb unless you get a blank one and actually write something real - the idea of hallmark speaking for you is cheesy and sad. Funny one can be cute though - if they really are funny.
But, if she doesn't get you anything, I would take that as a red flag if you have been dating seriously (read: exclusive) for more than 3 months.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
should i buy her a gift ( although she has a boyfriend) or should i let her man do the spending,
as at right now we are just friends who like each other but may be feb 14th we'll be bf and gf.
VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2002
- Messages
- 1,167
- Reaction score
- 3
Please do not give her a gift. In fact, please concetrate on other women besides that one. Boyfriend? "Needs some time?" - those usually add up to "Sorry, I am not interested but I am too much of a wussy woman to say it straight to your face."
Sorry
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.