GF of six months suddenly broke up with me two weeks ago, I obviously want her back.

[Dadude548]

There is literally no way you can tell her this. Anything you try to tell her will be ignored or further push her in the other direction at this point. With a woman; if she doesn't come to the conclusion on her own (or at least think she did) then she won't do it. Any attempts you make to "convince" her or anything like that, will completely backfire.

That's what I was worried about.

She's also very stubborn once she makes up her mind about something.

So she's being a complete idiot and there isn't anything I can do at all?

The only chance you have of getting her back is to go no contact for at least a month, and better yourself in that time.

Odds are pretty good that at some point she'll contact YOU. Women hate being ignored. She wants you to be all broken up about this and if you just go ghost on her she'll wonder. When she does get ahold of you or come back into your life, you need to be different. You need to be new and exciting again, not the same guy she remembers dumping before. Very small things like new clothes, new haircut, getting in better shape, etc achieve this.

Pretty much forget about her and move on? Maybe she'll contact me again, maybe she won't. I hate leaving it up to the woman to initiate contact with me because 99% of the time they don't.

New and exciting, I think I stopped being that along the way as we settled into our routine, and that was probably a factor in why she left me.

PS
I don't care if you have any interest in other women or not. Get out there and talk to them anyway. It'll boost your confidence and likely word will get around to your ex that you aren't moping around like some chump. That will increase her interest in you, and increase your value in her mind.

We don't run in the same social circles and there is no way she'll hear about how I'm doing.

After dating her my confidence is much higher than it used to be. Frankly, I pretty much absolutely hated myself. That's all different now. It's amazing how much changes simply by having a woman in ones life.

 

[Dadude548]

Girls who are highly attracted to you will find the time to hang out with you as often as possible.

She was with me pretty much every day she didn't have to work.

When we had an hour or more of driving time due to traffic between us, there was just no way to see each other when she was doing her normal shift of 10 to 7.

What don't you get about her not being highly attracted to you in the first place? In fact what don't you get about her having ZERO attraction to you now? Sorry if I sound mean or insulting, but I am trying to help.

OP, I highly recommend these two books. They will help you a lot.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-...qid=1387268990&sr=8-1&keywords=rationale+male

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Super...2&sr=8-1&keywords=the+way+of+the+superior+man

How can you possibly say that she was not attracted to me in the first place? We dated for six months and had lots of sex! She was the fist girl I've ever had unprotected sex with, and I was only the second guys she's ever been with. Considering she started dating at 16, I'd say her number is pretty darn low for a 21 year old.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Dude it is over. Stop trying to logically process this. Her attraction for you is done because you're too nice of a guy: easy, predictable, not a challenge, boring, "sweet". Look brah - you have made every cardinal mistake you possibly could at this point. ATTRACTION is the name of the game. Anything you do from this point on focused around her will only further plummet you down the tunnel to depression and embarrassment leaving you weaker and more of a phaggot than you are now. Not to mention she will despise and pitty you. If you want advice - start listening to it.

Start being the f*ckin man for yourself. The only reason a girl should ever next you is because she finally realized she couldn't catch you or because you're an a**hole who doesn't give a f*ck. Start being that guy.

Read the bible. /Thread

 

[Alvafe]

dude you can't push her to like you, it don't matter if she droped you for her ex or for vvhoring herself or a new guy showed up, it does not matter, only thing its matter now is you are single, so go out again and start over.

you can't win her back, you was suposed to be the prize not her, learn from this, also it don't matter if she was atracted to you, she is not now hence why she droped you.

you make all possible excuses here to protect your mind from the truth, you will try to defend her honor, with she don't have any btw, just so you don't feel like the last months was just a fluck. learn from this think on waht you could have done who killed her atraction to you and try no make teh same mistake, right now you have 2 pages topics of guys telling you to move on and you still defend your point, but ignore the truth, she don't want you

 

[VikingKing]

You want her back? Guess what that's not going to happen. Walk away while you still have dignity, sanity, and your balls.

No contact, find a new one. If you chase it will only make it worse. This is one of the times where you need to do the opposite of what you feel.

Improve yourself, never talk to her again. Ever.

She will be getting fvcked by some new guy soon. And yes she is like that.

http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/category/get-over-a-girl-get-back-an-ex-girlfriend-break-ups/
Among the various habits of her hamster is the impulse to seek confirmation for a decision. When a girl breaks up with you, she needs to know that her decision was right. That’s where no contact or jealousy comes in – it tells her that her perception of you during the break up might have been INCONGRUENT. “Oh ****, maybe he’s not a loser?” or “Wow, maybe I DO like him if I miss him so much.” And in a case where you get pulled back into a Oneitis after a few easy girl gimmicks, the opposite happens. Attraction declines again, she realizes she’s more secure than she thought, and that oh so familiar bubble of ennui and frustration starts its cycle of begging to be burst again, and again, and again… and again.

She’s looking for affirmation from a father figure just as she always has. And if she gets it too quickly, there’s nothing to strive for. Worse yet, if you lose your edge in dominance, you no longer maintain the position of her needing affirmation from you at all. As creatures absorbed in the practice of trading up the social ladder, she needs approval from someone above, not below.

So relax the **** out. Take a vicodin, hit up another girl, punch the wall, and then vibe to some Dean Martin. If you see yourself getting pulled back into the same Oneitis over and over again, take a step back to evaluate the reasons why the relationship has so strongly mauled your soul. She’s not any better than the other girl you were considering, your mind is just more strongly attached to the girl you have already invested so much into. It wants to fix this relationship instead of pursuing a fresh one. But like any intelligent investor will tell you -

Turn-arounds never turn around.

http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2012/04/whats-she-thinking/

 

[Bokanovsky]

Wow, there are some serious characters on this forum. Guys who seem to almost hate women and certainly don't trust them. I do not think she left me for another guy. Maybe I'm being naive and trusting, but that's just something I want to believe.

I've been on the forum a long time and this isn't my primary account. I used to be very active few years ago and I read the DJ Bible at least twice. Of course I was in a completely different place and mindset back then. Now that I've actually had a GF, certain things will make more sense to me.

A rather amusing comment from a guy who, by his own admission, collapsed on a couch and started crying like a little b!tch upon learning that his girlfriend was leaving him (it really doesn't get any more pathetic than than). It's patently obvious that you haven't learned a damn thing from this forum.

I'm going to give it to you straight without any sugarcoating. If you don't think you can handle that, I suggest you stop reading now. Your woman left you because she is not attracted to you. Period, end of story. She even told you that you like her more than she likes you (which is a nice way of saying that she doesn't like you. AT ALL.) Why did she start dating you in the first place? Who knows. I think there's a strong possibility that she was at least somewhat attracted to you initially but her attraction vanished when she got to know you better. Clearly you have strong AFC tendencies and I'm willing to bet that your "breakdown on the couch" episode was not their sole manifestation. You need to work on your inner game, first and foremost.

 

[JoeMarron]

I can tell you exactly why this relationship failed with just two quotes..

She said that I like her a lot, more than she likes me and that I'm very sweet.

I hate leaving it up to the woman to initiate contact with me because 99% of the time they don't.

Dude......stop chasing women. Just stop it. You said you've read the bible twice. Surely you've read Anti-Dump's machine. Surely you know that you need to test a woman's interest all the time. Let me repeat it again, DO NOT CHASE WOMEN!. When you let the woman chase you she becomes invested in you. The more she invests in you, the more her feelings grow for you. She never fell in love with you because you never gave her the chance. The reason you're so torn up over this is because you've invested so much into her and now she's gone. The dynamic should've been reversed. This is more than game or PUA tactics, this is basic human psychology. The more we invest in a person the more feelings we develop for that person.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

This is a quote from the 16 commandments of poon http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/. Henceforth this is your gospel. Adhere to it with no wavering.

Right now you need to stay no contact. Trying to win her back is just you investing more into her and her losing even less attraction for you. Women love men who have higher value than them. A higher value man doesn't grovel at his ex's feet trying to win her back. The only way you have even the slightest chance of winning her back is by staying no contact, moving on with your life and fvcking other women. Maybe in 6 months or so she'll see how awesome you've become and want you back. In that case you probably won't give a fvck about her because you'll have better things to do and better women to fvck. Good luck to you. Listen to us. Unlike you many of us have been in the situation you are and now know what it takes to get out of it.

 

[usernamedox11]

She was with me pretty much every day she didn't have to work.

When we had an hour or more of driving time due to traffic between us, there was just no way to see each other when she was doing her normal shift of 10 to 7.

How can you possibly say that she was not attracted to me in the first place? We dated for six months and had lots of sex! She was the fist girl I've ever had unprotected sex with, and I was only the second guys she's ever been with. Considering she started dating at 16, I'd say her number is pretty darn low for a 21 year old.

I didn't say she wasn't attracted to you in the first place. I said she wasn't highly attracted to you and went for you as a rebound. If she was highly attracted to you, you really think she'd leave you within 6 months? There was never a high attraction. You don't know if you were the 2nd guy she's ever been with. Women lie.

You focus too much on what she says. Women communicate covertly most of the time instead of overtly. They don't communicate overtly until absolutely necessary and you take what she tells you too much to heart.

If you think we are a bunch of misogynists who only say what we say because we hate women, why are you posting here asking us for advice? Go to Yahoo Answers and ask for advice. They'll tell you to buy your EX flowers and chocolate and that you'll get her back for sure! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Maximus Rex]

You Need To Listen to This

Ole Rex is going to point out every mistake that you made in this "relationship," using the "Gospel According to Harry." My apologies to Harry Wilington if he feels it's kinda sacrilegious to use his name and the word "gospel," in regards to dating advice, but hey, ole Rex is of the school of thought that Harry's podcasts are a form of " the good news,"

Here's the story.

My relationship with my GF had zero issues whatsoever. We got along great, have lots of common interests, always have fun together, sex was really good. She's 21, I'm several older. She doesn't care about my age nor do her parents whom like me.

Epsiode 95: Stop Thinking Sex is the Key to Making Her Want a Relationship With You http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw0095/

For the Thanksgiving Holiday, I had made plans to go to my parents house for a week. She stays over at my place on Wednesday the 20th and Thursday the 21st of November.

Episode 61: Stop Inviting Her to do Holiday Stuff http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/5/

Feeling a little frisky since I haven't seen her in a while, I grope one of her breasts, then she suddenly says, "Before we start anything I've been doing a lot of thinking." Then she goes on to talk about her feelings and how she thinks that they have plateaued for her, that she's not in love with me like she thinks she should be after six months, and that she may never fall in love with me.

Episode 70: Stop Miscommunicating With Women Part 7 – Her Relationship WANTS vs. Her Relationship NEEDS http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/4/

She also thinks her feelings for me have been going down for a while and that me being gone gave her time to think and talk to her friends about me. She said something about her being stressed and tired has made her think clearer. She said that I like her a lot, more than she likes me and that I'm very sweet.

She thinks that she may not have been single long enough since we got together about a month after she ended it with her ex of three years. Things with her ex were bad for a long time, and I was pretty much the deciding factor in her leaving him. She says that she thinks she wants to be single for a long time before dating anybody else again, and that the timing for us wasn't right.

I pretty much go into shock and can barely process what is happening. Much of her words are a blur. When she's done with her break up speech, we hug, my emotions go into overdrive and I start crying and collapse onto my couch.

Episode 71: Stop Being So Darn Emotional http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/4/

For the Thanksgiving Holiday, I had made plans to go to my parents house for a week. She stays over at my place on Wednesday the 20th and Thursday the 21st of November.

Episode 61: Stop Inviting Her to do Holiday Stuff http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/5/

The next day I text her to try to get her to meet up with me so we can talk and I can ask the questions that I wasn't able to. She says that she's can't that day. Thinking it's bullsh*t because she was supposed to be with me that day and should not have plans already

Episode 37: Stop Over-thinking/Over-analyzing Her Words/Actionshttp://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/7/

I ask her if it's because she doesn't want to see me or if she's busy, she says that she's just busy. Several days later I sent her an email around 5 am (I wasn't able to sleep), asking to meet up and talk. Later that day I text her something about what my mom is doing and she doesn't respond.

Episode 28: Stop Accepting Her Rude Behavior http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

Several days later, 12/9, I send her a text, "I haven't heard from you in several days, Why are you giving me the cold shoulder? What did I do to make you so angry?"

Epsiode 26: Stop Lacking Confidence (Pep Talk #1) http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

Episode 86 Stop Forcing Her to Talk About or Do Things She Doesn't Want To Do http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/2/

She replies, "I'm not trying to do anything to you. And I'm not angry at you nor did you do anything. You can't catch a hint that I'm not up for meeting to talk right now. It hasn't even been a week. You have to give things time and emailing me at 5 am is not the right way to go about it. If I wanted to talk to you I would. But the truth is right now I don't.

Episode 87: Stop Doing Things the Woman Should Be Doing to Show Attraction http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/2/

I replied back that I don't understand why not and that she met up with her ex a couple of times after she broke up with him....I sent something to her about the meeting being awkward. No reply. 20 minuets go by and then I send her another text, "Ok you don't want to meet up. At least you're being honest now. I will give you time to do what you have to do. No reply.

Episode32: Stop Chasing Her – Let HER Chase YOU http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

Episode 33: Stop Appearing So Needy (Harry Answers a Listener’s Message) http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

Because of her work schedule, and us being about an hour away, we usually only saw each other twice a week,

Fifteens too far.

Every other week or so we would go out and have a date day/night. Things were depending on our schedules matching up and what was going on.

18: Stop Becoming Boring http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/9/

Then she goes on to talk about her feelings and how she thinks that they have plateaued for her, that she's not in love with me like she thinks she should be after six months, and that she may never fall in love with me.

The underlined is where you really f*cked up at. Epsiode 30 Stop Making Her The Girlfriend to Soon, http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/8/

 

[VladPatton]

Another "I love my gf thread and wanna get her back" thread. There's one a week like clockwork.

 

[usernamedox11]

It's either the guy is a troll or just amazingly pathetic. I can't figure out. I really wonder what his nationality is. If you're from an eastern culture, don't apply what you have learned of women from you culture and family to American women. Because you are in for a world of hurt. And all those hollywood movies where the guy is terrible and his women is the sweet and loving person is not representative of the real world.

My mom, believe it or not, agrees with much of the SoSuave ideology here and thinks feminism is retarded. She hates most women. She isn't from America. She knows exactly how women are. She thinks 99% of them are manipulative liars. But my mom came from a conservative family and my dad was basically her first BF, when she was 25. My dad is naturally a red pill type guy and spinned plates in his 20s till early 30s. When he came to America he decided it was time to get married and get his green card, so he married my mom .

 

[El Suave]

Dadude548, we all gave you advice here. Doesn't mean we're right and you're wrong. Sure, a lot of us generalize women a bit. Maybe we've been with low quality women or maybe we're right. Each should draw their own conclusion....My advice so far in this post has been only based on experience (been with about 60 women, and I've seen what they do).

My question to you: what is your opinion of how you should proceed with this one?
I think you got enough input from us. Make your decision and stick with it. It doesn't really matter who's right or wrong, they are all life lessons.

You want to feel better about yourself, act on something rather than be idle. Our advice or your own ideas. It doesn't really matter, but do something.

 

[LP700-4]

Wow, there are some serious characters on this forum. Guys who seem to almost hate women and certainly don't trust them.

I do not think she left me for another guy. Maybe I'm being naive and trusting, but that's just something I want to believe.

What you want to believe and the truth are more often than not galaxies apart. Don't worry though, "keep believing what you want to believe". Surround yourself with those fantasies and eventually you will drown in your own misery.

 

[jay07]

"several years older" means how many?

Id say if your older than 26 she was probably just having fun as a rebound while she tried getting over her ex, whos shes clearly now banging again

 

[Dadude548]

Well we just texted back and forth for a while and she answered every question I had about the break up.

There is absolutely no way that she was cheating on me, and actually kind of paranoid that I would on her. It's a long story.

But either way, we are completely done now and I will never contact her again and I really doubt I'll hear from her down the line.

 

[cordoncordon]

I doubt she left you for the ex. I doubt she cheated. Odds are she was just never that into you. She tried to be. She wanted to be. She gave it 6 months. But she just wasn't. And 6 months tends to be the amount of time that most people will give a relationship before giving up.

Don't take it personally. For whatever reason you just did not tickle her vj enough to want to stay with you. Whatever you do from here on out....leave her alone. Don't text don't call don't email. Will only make things worse in terms of you getting over her and her ever wanting to be with you again (not that you should want to be with her).

I know this was your first true live and relationship and all that. Learn from this. With your next gf and the others after her, don't be the nice guy who gives her everything she wants. Be the good guy with an edge who she thinks will leave her in a second if she screws up. Then she will love you forever and the thought of losing you will scare her to death.

Good luck.

 

[El Suave]

Well we just texted back and forth for a while and she answered every question I had about the break up.

There is absolutely no way that she was cheating on me, and actually kind of paranoid that I would on her. It's a long story.

But either way, we are completely done now and I will never contact her again and I really doubt I'll hear from her down the line.

Glad to hear you got your closure. In time you will feel better about yourself and start dating again. She has a special place in your heart and it's time to let go. Start working on your way of thinking and self control. You have to learn what you can say and not in front of a woman when it comes to feelings. All that stuff that's in the DJ bible doesn't mean you should become ruthless with women or hate them. It simply means "protect your heart from s*it like this happening again"

You hit bottom so only way is up from now.

 

[mustfirstregister]

Sorry to hear your about break up. I actually had a beautiful girlfriend for 6 months too last year, we saw each other many times a week, sex, etc. Everything you did in your relationship I did. Mine broke up with me all of a sudden without any reasons, nothing, it felt like the world coming down on me (Well, not that bad but you understand) until today I still miss her. We did so much together even we went to Hawaii together.

I tried to get her back by emailing her and Facebook her and I have never got any replies back. It's like she's vanished from the earth.

I really understand how you feel and my advise is to get a hotter girlfriend. I found a new girlfriend but not as beautiful as her but I'm happy and getting sex again. Good luck to you.

 

[:-)]

And 6 months tends to be the amount of time that most people will give a relationship before giving up.

i was always told it was 3.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Honestly, you did EVERYTHING wrong. From crying to emailing her at 5am....c'mon man. Forget her. Improve yourself. Bang other girls. Get numb.