Gf consumes all my weekend time!

[vorbis]

Its not as afc as t sounds (at least I hope not)

Usually at the weekend, I just relax and don't do a whole lot (unless i plan a trip somewhere). I do some activities during the week, yoga, go to the gym, will be playing soccer soon as well.

So I meet my gf once during the week and thats grand. On Fridays though she stays over and well spends the entire weekend at my place. This ends up with me spending all the day time with her on Saturdays and Sundays. I still go out with my friends on Friday or Saturday night. She goes out with hers and sometimes I go out with hers or she goes out with mine.

But because she stays over for the weekend, I have no time to myself over the weekend. I might wish to spend a few hours just relaxing by myself in front of the tv. I can't exactly say "I don't want to hang out with you for a few hours, I want to be by myself"

She does treat me very well, has shown strong IL from the beginning. She cooks for me and is good in bed as well as suggesting new ideas

I'm thinking of taking up a weekend hobby just to keep some daytime to myself. Any ideas?

 

[joekerr31]

you're screwed.

sounds like she is needy and that you've become the center of her universe.

its funny how many guys want some hot chic to be all over them all the time, but be careful what you ask for, because when you can't get a moment to yourself a good thing becomes very frustrasting very quickly.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What's wrong with getting together during the week?

 

[vorbis]

i see what you're getting at joekerr31. She definetly is a bit needy and is into me more than I am into her.

On the other hand, she does know a fair few people in the area and is a very positive sociable person. She has a small self-esteem issue about her weight (apparently by Thai standards she is fat) However, its not like a touchy issue as I'm able to joke and say stuff like "oh you'll need to do 2 hours tennis on Saturday" in response when she brings it up.

My current strategy is to encourage her to hang out with her friends during the day time (go shopping with them, have lunch etc.)

Just to emphasize, she doesn't demand time, I make plans to do stuff with friends on some weekends and theres no problem. She just takes up all weekend day time where I have nothing planned.

edit: Theres nothing wrong with meeting during the week. She doesn't sleep over during the week so its different to the weekend.

 

[Vulpine]

I'm thinking of taking up a weekend hobby just to keep some daytime to myself. Any ideas?

Hunting, fishing, shooting, trapping, etc.

That way, if she isn't interested, cool. If she IS interested... double cool!

 

[STR8UP]

Had this problem with my last LTR.

She lived 30 minutes away and got into a routine of staying at my place friday and saturday night when she didn't have to work the next day.

Same situation- sex was out of this world, she was never *****y or anything, but it kinda sucked not having a little of my weekend to myself. That's why I question if I could ever handle a marriage....

 

[Throttle]

what's wrong with saying to a woman "hey, I need some 'me' time"?

you can't "exactly" say that? why not? just say it.

 

[joekerr31]

well saying you need some 'me' time is interpreted by women as you saying 'your starting to get on my nerves'

thats just reality.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

well saying you need some 'me' time is interpreted by women as you saying 'your starting to get on my nerves'

thats just reality.

Bravo!

 

[Throttle]

exactly. sane women can take a hint, even the needy ones. the rest of 'em.... show 'em the door.

 

[Chrispy]

Nice thread...so how does one balance a gf who is really into you vs. keeping your independence and 'me' time?

 

[Albion10]

Its not as afc as t sounds (at least I hope not)

Usually at the weekend, I just relax and don't do a whole lot (unless i plan a trip somewhere). I do some activities during the week, yoga, go to the gym, will be playing soccer soon as well.

So I meet my gf once during the week and thats grand. On Fridays though she stays over and well spends the entire weekend at my place. This ends up with me spending all the day time with her on Saturdays and Sundays. I still go out with my friends on Friday or Saturday night. She goes out with hers and sometimes I go out with hers or she goes out with mine.

But because she stays over for the weekend, I have no time to myself over the weekend. I might wish to spend a few hours just relaxing by myself in front of the tv. I can't exactly say "I don't want to hang out with you for a few hours, I want to be by myself"

She does treat me very well, has shown strong IL from the beginning. She cooks for me and is good in bed as well as suggesting new ideas

I'm thinking of taking up a weekend hobby just to keep some daytime to myself. Any ideas?

What the fuk are you going to do when you get married and she's with you 24/7? lol!

 

[Chrispy]

LOL. Marriage and dating are two very different things. In marriage, 24/7 is mandatory...just have good ways of creating me-time! While dating, you can say stuff to be unavailable.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

.... In marriage, 24/7 is mandatory....

:nono: Nuh-uh......

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

"Honey, I love you, but I also need some time to myself everyday to just relax/not think."

As long as you don't say it in an accusing way ("You sap up all my time!"), I don't see how it could really bother her.

 

[betterthandead]

The biggest mistake for a smart man dating is to establish "we'll see each other every weekend" schedule. Don't do that, you were fine having the whole weekend to yourself when you were single and so was she.

 

[Cremasta]

Is she a fairly new gf?

It sounds to me like you haven't really adjusted to having an 'other half', because you see her once during the week, then Fri-Sat-Sun. That still leaves nearly half the week to do your own thing.

If you've been seeing her less than a couple of months then your comments are fair enough. But if it's serious and you've been together a while now, then it doesn't sound as if you like her as much as you might think. There's nothing wrong with having your girl next to you when you're relaxing and watching tv, just as long as she shuts up.

You don't have to say "I want some me time", because a lot of girls will get defensive about it. You simply tell her what you intend to do and if she decides to go do something else, then great.

 

[Charm]

"Honey, I love you, but I also need some time to myself everyday to just relax/not think."

As long as you don't say it in an accusing way ("You sap up all my time!"), I don't see how it could really bother her.

You don't see how it could really bother her??? How about insecurity. Clingyness. Jealousy. Dominance. There's plenty of reasons why it will and does bother women, few of those reasons based on anything logical.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You don't see how it could really bother her??? How about insecurity. Clingyness. Jealousy. Dominance. There's plenty of reasons why it will and does bother women, few of those reasons based on anything logical.

And why in all that is holy would a guy choose to date a woman like this?!!

 

[Charm]

And why in all that is holy would a guy choose to date a woman like this?!!

ONS turns into TNS into dating into ooppss wtf did I get myself into...