"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Getting to congruency

B

Brad

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Recent red pill here. I've mentioned in a previous post that I've become aware of other people's negative reactions in social situations with me.

I've broken it down into two main issues:
  1. Feeling anxiety (partly due to outcome dependence/neediness) and expressing that in my subcommunication.
  2. Trying to force a different outward appearance and showing incongruency.
I came across this video that covers incongruent behaviour.


He covers the following:
  • Communication is 7% words, 93% everything else
  • Subcommunication (the 93%) overwhelmingly affects other people around you
  • Most people (myself included) try to fake the subcommunication. People see through this
  • Until you fix how you feel about yourself you will come off as incongruent
  • Once you change how you feel about yourself you need to express that feeling through your body rather than your head
  • ie: it's not about how you stand, it's about how you feel when you stand.
  • Move your body a lot! Do it often and enjoy moving it
  • You can apply the above with voice tonality as well. Feel the emotion first and use that emotion to come through with your voice (again I'm guilty of this, I came off like a robot trying to be more deep with my voice)
So his ideas are that you need to become aware of your emotion and build a relationship with your body.

What other tips have you guys read about being congruent?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

R

RedScorpion

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Soflobro said:
That is one ugly looking dude in the video
Click to expand...
I think it's mainly because it doesn't seem like he has eyebrows. There's some other stuff there... but where the hell are the eyebrows.

In regards to the actual thread, I think this is where the origin of 'be yourself' comes from. The typical idea is that means 'Oh I can relax and not care, just do whatever'. Which is wrong. But I take it as more... find a style that fits you. Work on the things that are definitely the foundation (like not being monotone, having good posture, having good volume while talking, etc.) - but don't try to completely reinvent yourself either. I'd try to work on one thing at a time... but keeping in mind all of the basics.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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