Getting them attached

[Randzilla]

Ok so quick question her when wanting to get a woman attached after sex should I leave after sex or do the whole cuddling thing. Generally I will stay and cuddle unless I have something to do is that a mistake and am I giving them to much validation?

 

[Pandora]

Ok so quick question her when wanting to get a woman attached after sex should I leave after sex or do the whole cuddling thing. Generally I will stay and cuddle unless I have something to do is that a mistake and am I giving them to much validation?

I made a post on cuddling. If she has her back turned to you and she does not initiate it, then leave. Don't sleep over. She is attempting to separate sex from feelings ( defining trait of a slut). It is normal to her at this point. She is probably not looking for a boyfriend. In general it is always better to err on the side of leaving and cutting off contact first. It is sad but this is how American women have conditioned us to be.

 

[derby1]

Kiss good , make love, then FCK her like a ***** in the same night! dont initiate contact after the first date if she doesn't....tells you all you need to know!!, if she does......tells you all ya need to know

Nothing else matters at all , the above is solid advice

 

[derby1]

m

If she has her back turned to you and she does not initiate it, then leave. Don't sleep over. She is attempting to separate sex from feelings ( defining trait of a slut)

most woman i know of lie half/all the night facing away from the man? doesnt make them not worship the bloke? dont quite get this one mate

 

[lizardking82]

The way a woman reacts after sex comes down to two things:

1) How she is used to and where she wants to take this relation + what kinda feeling the sex gave her. There are women who are sluts and are only in it for the ride. There are women who are not sluts but they don't want a relationship right or any kind of very close feelings. Then there are women who didn't like the sex and do not expect them to be so close to you anyways after it.

2) The vibe you give as a man and the way you approach them up to the point of sex. Some guys are just weirdos and cool and everything and they will give off a vibe of only wanting to have sex so do not expect her to be so open about hugging you and cuddling you. Some men approach women sweetly, in a charming way that makes them wanna fall in love LOL

But as @deesade wrote above, women release oxytocin after orgasm and that is also known as the bonding hormone so usually, they want to bond after it. It is part of primal behaviour where the woman wants to feel security in the person she possibly will have children with, she wants to feel he will stay around and take care of things. Of course this is only primal behaviour, but this is why it happens basically.

 

[Randzilla]

Ok yeah I have a really attractive chick I'm messing with and was wanting to step up the consistency of sex with her. Right now it's like once every week or two and wanted to work on getting her attached so it happens more frequently.

 

[Pandora]

m


most woman i know of lie half/all the night facing away from the man? doesnt make them not worship the bloke? dont quite get this one mate

Of course I am making big generalizations out of neccessity. Everyone is unique. But in general if after a ONS a girl does not curl up on your chest and she has her back facing you in a closed off manner, then she is probly trying to guard her feelings. If they are not eager to cuddle after sex then its most likely for a reason. This does not apply to long term relationships where you guys are past that point. Women emotionally connect more during the post sex phase than doing the sex phase many times.

 

[Pandora]

The way a woman reacts after sex comes down to two things:

1) How she is used to and where she wants to take this relation + what kinda feeling the sex gave her. There are women who are sluts and are only in it for the ride. There are women who are not sluts but they don't want a relationship right or any kind of very close feelings. Then there are women who didn't like the sex and do not expect them to be so close to you anyways after it.

2) The vibe you give as a man and the way you approach them up to the point of sex. Some guys are just weirdos and cool and everything and they will give off a vibe of only wanting to have sex so do not expect her to be so open about hugging you and cuddling you. Some men approach women sweetly, in a charming way that makes them wanna fall in love LOL

But as @deesade wrote above, women release oxytocin after orgasm and that is also known as the bonding hormone so usually, they want to bond after it. It is part of primal behaviour where the woman wants to feel security in the person she possibly will have children with, she wants to feel he will stay around and take care of things. Of course this is only primal behaviour, but this is why it happens basically.

yeh man i pretty much agree with this. Number two is especially true. If you give off a player vibe she will prob not want to cuddle too much lol

 

[Roober]

I was never much for the women that rolled over the other way and always slept with her back to her man. I think I read about it somewhere and what it means for the relationship, which was obviously not a good thing. My exgf did this every time and was literally on the other side of the bed. My current lady is right next to me and turns around maybe 1 out of 10 nights, but still right next to me.

Some people are just different I guess, but I think it does mean something...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was never much for the women that rolled over the other way and always slept with her back to her man. I think I read about it somewhere and what it means for the relationship, which was obviously not a good thing. My exgf did this every time and was literally on the other side of the bed. My current lady is right next to me and turns around maybe 1 out of 10 nights, but still right next to me.

Some people are just different I guess, but I think it does mean something...

It means distance not wanting closeness

 

[BeExcellent]

It depends on lots of things. My boyfriend snores. Like really really snores. If I fall asleep first, I can sleep in the same room as him.

If he falls asleep first? The snoring keeps me up. I go sleep in the other room then...so I can rest!

I get leg cramps at night. Have to change positions often. He is like a heater & is too warm to sleep up against. He gets overheated then too. Has nothing whatsoever to do with lack of closeness or lack of intimacy.

Do we have a close nice cuddle time with me on his chest? Do we doze off like that? Yup. But at some point it's time to really sleep. At which point sleeping and rest are the priority.

So I wouldn't read so much into this. Cuddling is one thing. Actual sleep & rest is something else. Granted...we are older, Ha!

 

[AJ84]

It depends on lots of things. My boyfriend snores. Like really really snores. If I fall asleep first, I can sleep in the same room as him.

If he falls asleep first? The snoring keeps me up. I go sleep in the other room then...so I can rest!

I get leg cramps at night. Have to change positions often. He is like a heater & is too warm to sleep up against. He gets overheated then too. Has nothing whatsoever to do with lack of closeness or lack of intimacy.

Do we have a close nice cuddle time with me on his chest? Do we doze off like that? Yup. But at some point it's time to really sleep. At which point sleeping and rest are the priority.

So I wouldn't read so much into this. Cuddling is one thing. Actual sleep & rest is something else. Granted...we are older, Ha!

I love cuddling while watching a movie or talking after sex but when I want to sleep I prefer a bit of space and don't like cuddling at that time.

In new dating/ casual stuff it is, like a guys here stated, her comfort level with you. Can't speak for all women or men of course but from my experience it seems that the intimacy of cuddling requires a higher comfort level than the intimacy of sex. If the girl feels like it's just a one night stand or just sex then she may not want to let herself be vulnerable by letting her guard down to cuddle.

It also takes some girls longer to warm up to stuff like that.

 

[AJ84]

exactly right.

you cant make a girl feel like youre only interested in casual sex if you want her to really develop feelings for you. otherwise shes gonna compartmentalize sexual attachment from emotional attachment and keep the 2 separate.

a lot of this comes down to calibration and keeping a fine balance.

if your rely too much on being aloof/disinterested and starving her of good feelings and attention, shes gonna withdraw. which is fine if its just a ONS. one and done. nobody gets hurt

if you do this with a girl you LIKE, she will eventually detach herself completely because your emotional provisioning is in question. and you lose her

you can counterbalance this with texting her mindful semi-romantic things throughout the week (mixed in with the fun flirty stuff obviously) until the next time you meet. "hey, just saw xyz and it reminded me of you"

on the complete opposite end of the spectrum if you give her too many, too soon of the "im a special fvcking snowflake" feels, she will fall too hard too fast. the problem then becomes "i cant do this anymore, i need something real" and you lose her like that lol. this used to be common for me in the past. i lacked proper calibration because i had too much of a deep abundance, zero fvcks given mentality. which didnt hurt my game at all but always led to burned bridges and resentful women.

this is completely separate from getting actual rest. couples holding each other and intertwined like a human pretzel throughout the night only happens in the movies.

the getting too hot at night thing is pretty funny. must be a guy thing. a lot of guys, myself included, are like this. i get hotter than a nuclear reactor core during my rem sleep. most girls love it....some not so much

You are spot on. It's funny when guys who only want sex from a girl wonder why she is not acting like a girlfriend. Because he is not treating her like one, that's why.

 

[AJ84]

It's even funnier when women view breaking a bed as non-comittal, but sleeping in it as requiring a commitment.

Don't get cheeky with regards to logic, because you're on shaky ground.

That's funny too Dee. The thing is when it comes to relationships and how people behave in them, there's often not much logic from either side, IMO.