Getting stuck in a rut

[Exil]

Gents. Some of you will know my situation from a previous post so for others that don't I'll be brief. I've now moved out of my family home and got a house share with two young, semi-hot women after finding out that my wife and mother of my children had been texting and meeting up with a guy she met on a Facebook page. It took me months to finally move out and I felt so much better initially but the last week or so I've found myself feeling a bit lost.

I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. I joined a dating site and have started doing the prep work on some plates but only one concrete in place.

I don't know if it's the virus and all the lockdown stuff that's getting me down and not being able to go to the gym but it's really put me in a weird place at the moment. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

For some reason, I just seem to have no motivation at the moment an it's p1ssing me off but I can't seem to force myself out of it.

 

[cola]

Gents. Some of you will know my situation from a previous post so for others that don't I'll be brief. I've now moved out of my family home and got a house share with two young, semi-hot women after finding out that my wife and mother of my children had been texting and meeting up with a guy she met on a Facebook page. It took me months to finally move out and I felt so much better initially but the last week or so I've found myself feeling a bit lost.

I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. I joined a dating site and have started doing the prep work on some plates but only one concrete in place.

I don't know if it's the virus and all the lockdown stuff that's getting me down and not being able to go to the gym but it's really put me in a weird place at the moment. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

For some reason, I just seem to have no motivation at the moment an it's p1ssing me off but I can't seem to force myself out of it.

It’s perfectly normal for you to be in a rut right now, this wasn’t just a “girlfriend”, which is rather trivial. It was your wife and mother of your kids. You are human, that would be a devastating blow for anyone. Just let time run it’s course, but do not go back to her.

 

[death_wish. .]

Gents. Some of you will know my situation from a previous post so for others that don't I'll be brief. I've now moved out of my family home and got a house share with two young, semi-hot women after finding out that my wife and mother of my children had been texting and meeting up with a guy she met on a Facebook page. It took me months to finally move out and I felt so much better initially but the last week or so I've found myself feeling a bit lost.

I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. I joined a dating site and have started doing the prep work on some plates but only one concrete in place.

I don't know if it's the virus and all the lockdown stuff that's getting me down and not being able to go to the gym but it's really put me in a weird place at the moment. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

For some reason, I just seem to have no motivation at the moment an it's p1ssing me off but I can't seem to force myself out of it.

yeah im in a similar situation , you're a little better off tho cause you were able to leave.
im still stuck with the woman until god knows when.
cola is absolutely right anyone would take this a devastating strike , dont go back and just tough this thing out. i know its hard

 

[Black Widow Void]

It will get better. Trust me (and I'm not just throwing out some baseless pep-talk). I'll explain.

You were dealt an unexpected blow from this woman (we all experience things like this to some degree) . When we are blind-sided, it takes some time to regain our composure. This is natural.

It sounds to me like you're healing and making improvements. That's great because you are more ahead of the game than some folks. It would be great if we could flip a switch and resume our old game, but the process of re-adapting and shaking off an unpleasant past takes a little time.

The fact that you left this woman with your dignity... and you are making strides on improvement (rather than wallowing in pity) tells me that you'll soon be occupying home plate with women sooner rather than later.

 

[Exil]

Thanks gents. I know I'm not the only one going through a rough time and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I had plans for a new business that I really wanted to start but finances have been sapped due to me now paying my mortgage, bills at the house and rent for a room as well as starting divorce proceedings (I spared no expense here).

 

[Baibars]

You made the right decision! Work on yourself and never look back. You pulled the trigger in time, i needed way more lessons until i was forced to do it.

You shouldn't need motivation because you should acceptthat nobody gives a fck about you in this world and women are the ones that care the least about you and your problems. They only think about themselves and how you benefit them.
Just accept that and do what you need to do.

I guess i'm younger than you but i worked at some different places and i always met this over 30/40 men who didn't get anywhere in life. Nobody cared about them and nobody would care longer than a day if they'd die. I promised that i don't want to be like them.

Women are objects and they see us as objects that's just the way it is. We shouldn't idealize them and expect things from them they can't give us.
This also applies to your ex. She's nothing special and she never was special. The only reason why you married her was because she made you believe that and at some point she decided to reveal her real self.

 

[death_wish. .]

You made the right decision! Work on yourself and never look back. You pulled the trigger in time, i needed way more lessons until i was forced to do it.

You shouldn't need motivation because you should acceptthat nobody gives a fck about you in this world and women are the ones that care the least about you and your problems. They only think about themselves and how you benefit them.
Just accept that and do what you need to do.

I guess i'm younger than you but i worked at some different places and i always met this over 30/40 men who didn't get anywhere in life. Nobody cared about them and nobody would care longer than a day if they'd die. I promised that i don't want to be like them.

Women are objects and they see us as objects that's just the way it is. We shouldn't idealize them and expect things from them they can't give us.
This also applies to your ex. She's nothing special and she never was special. The only reason why you married her was because she made you believe that and at some point she decided to reveal her real self.

knocked it out the park barry bonds

 

[samspade]

“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” Albert Einstein

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Personally I think the better and harder thing to do is focus completely on yourself for a while and not date at all. You need to instill self validation and not care what women think.

The world presents you things that are in and out of your control. Knowing where that line is and investing your energy accordingly is the key to success. What any woman does is never completely in your control. That is, things happen and no one has to be blamed. A long relationship will naturally be harder to keep pure. You stuck to your principles and left with dignity, that's the best thing you could have done.

Now rebuild that castle in your mind brick by brick, day by day, until you feel like you're on top of the world. Slay your dragons and enjoy life.

 

[Romanemp22]

You need to let it all through. You can't repress your emotions right now when you are not in a good place emotionally. But the good thing is its normal and it will go away with time. Find other interest now, don't dwell in self pity too much. Try reading few good books on Self improvement and it will fill your mind with positive thoughts. Good luck and stay strong brother!

 

[r4zorsharp]

Gents. Some of you will know my situation from a previous post so for others that don't I'll be brief. I've now moved out of my family home and got a house share with two young, semi-hot women after finding out that my wife and mother of my children had been texting and meeting up with a guy she met on a Facebook page. It took me months to finally move out and I felt so much better initially but the last week or so I've found myself feeling a bit lost.

I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. I joined a dating site and have started doing the prep work on some plates but only one concrete in place.

I don't know if it's the virus and all the lockdown stuff that's getting me down and not being able to go to the gym but it's really put me in a weird place at the moment. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

For some reason, I just seem to have no motivation at the moment an it's p1ssing me off but I can't seem to force myself out of it.

You're simply trying to patch up a wound by looking for girls to date, and constantly ruminating around it. It probably also doesn't help that you're now living with 2 young women roommates. What would have made things different is if you had good friends to keep you busy, maybe some passions and hobbies outside of work.. You need things that motivate you outside the realm of women and dating. If a guy doesn't have that, they tend to always fall back on revolving their thoughts and emotions around dating.

 

[Exil]

You're simply trying to patch up a wound by looking for girls to date, and constantly ruminating around it. It probably also doesn't help that you're now living with 2 young women roommates. What would have made things different is if you had good friends to keep you busy, maybe some passions and hobbies outside of work.. You need things that motivate you outside the realm of women and dating. If a guy doesn't have that, they tend to always fall back on revolving their thoughts and emotions around dating.

I'm actually not doing that at all. I've done that before and it doesn't really help. What I'm doing is trying to get a few potential fvcks lined up. I don't want a relationship or for someone to replace my wife. No one will ever replace her, she's the mother of my children and regardless of what she's done I can never hate her. She's just doing what she's genetically programmed to do.

As for the housemates, that was more by chance than anything else. A three way could work out quite fun though if the chance arrises

 

[death_wish. .]

. What I'm doing is trying to get a few potential fvcks lined up. I don't want a relationship or for someone to replace my wife. No one will ever replace her, she's the mother of my children and regardless of what she's done I can never hate her.

sounds like you got a good grip on reality. i think you will be fine.
normally its not recommended to date cause of the whole ''rebound'' thing , but i feel as if you got this.
go get em stud

 

[r4zorsharp]

I'm actually not doing that at all. I've done that before and it doesn't really help. What I'm doing is trying to get a few potential fvcks lined up. I don't want a relationship or for someone to replace my wife. No one will ever replace her, she's the mother of my children and regardless of what she's done I can never hate her. She's just doing what she's genetically programmed to do.

As for the housemates, that was more by chance than anything else. A three way could work out quite fun though if the chance arrises

I had to take a quick deep breath before responding to this one because I generally hate people who think like you.. You're already thinking about a threesome with your roommates (first off, this **** comes off as a creep.. man, if only these b itches knew ur a pervert thinking about banging them, they would have never let you move in wtih them).. before you even have a single girl to f.ck.

You're a loser man. That's how I see you. Sorry, but you are. You lost one situation, and now you're talking some bull.chit. Cut your losses, focus on things that are better and more important for your life than lining up "a few girls to f.uck"...

Becuase one thing I can guarantee you is, you'll NEVER have a threesome with those girls, and you'll be lucky to even find one girl to f.cuk with the way you think.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I had to take a quick deep breath before responding to this one because I generally hate people who think like you.. You're already thinking about a threesome with your roommates (first off, this **** comes off as a creep.. man, if only these b itches knew ur a pervert thinking about banging them, they would have never let you move in wtih them).. before you even have a single girl to f.ck.

You're a loser man. That's how I see you. Sorry, but you are. You lost one situation, and now you're talking some bull.chit. Cut your losses, focus on things that are better and more important for your life than lining up "a few girls to f.uck"...

Becuase one thing I can guarantee you is, you'll NEVER have a threesome with those girls, and you'll be lucky to even find one girl to f.cuk with the way you think.

And if that thought process was successful for him in the past?

 

[r4zorsharp]

malicious.

Malicious? Only thing malicious is his pervy intent to have a threesome with his two younger roomates. Boy, if they even knew their new roommate was thinking that, I could only imagine that situation. But forget that, that's not even the point here.

The bigger point here is this guy just found out his wife was cheating on him, had to leave his own home and roommate with others, and wants to line up girls to f.uck, when his priorities should be figuring out how he's going to take care of his kids and what he's going to do about getting a divorce.

Some people need some tough love. I'm not going to sit back and help enable him. He's got his priorities all wrong.

And if that thought process was successful for him in the past?

How good do you think that thoguht process was for him? he got cheated on by his wife, and has kids to take care of.. he was forced to leave his home and live with roomates.

And for any of you softies who think "whats wrong with being a perv? whats wrong with wanting to bang 2 girls u moved in with".. It's the scope of the situation. I'm oldschool, im more like your typical cowboy, serve justice and do right type of guy. I don't like that pervy mindset ****.. A lot of dudes these days have soft hands.

 

[Exil]

My priorities? My priorities are making sure my kids have everything they need and that I exit that marriage with the best possible outcome. I won't get drawn into a debate about mentality because clearly you don't belong on this forum. If I want to fvck my housemates and the opportunity arises then I'll weigh it up and see if it would jeopardise my living situation.

I appreciate you taking the time to give me your "old-school-blue-pill" advice but I'm done being the nice guy. I spent 11 years with my wife, had two children, bought a house and provided for her everything she could ever want and my eyes were closed throughout the whole marriage. I was in her frame and I never realised how wrong my priorities were back then.

If I'm honest, this has been quite a rude awakening for me and getting to the place I'm at now took a lot of self reflection and patience to figure out what I needed to do and in a lot of ways, I'm still figuring it out.

Can you explain to me though how saying there's a potential threesome with my housemates makes me a perv? I can only assume you're a religious guy and I respect that you have values and morals but your way of thinking isn't necessarily correct. A lot of people on here would call you a throwback or outdated.

Lastly, I wasn't forced to leave my home. I left of my own accord. I left with my head held high, knowing that I'd done everything I could to prevent it from happening. I'm a very attentive father and my children will always come first, above any other women or lifestyle.

I now have to create a new normal which takes time and effort. Maybe you've never had to do anything like that yourself and I hope you never do and your life stays perfect.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Malicious? Only thing malicious is his pervy intent to have a threesome with his two younger roomates. Boy, if they even knew their new roommate was thinking that, I could only imagine that situation. But forget that, that's not even the point here.

The bigger point here is this guy just found out his wife was cheating on him, had to leave his own home and roommate with others, and wants to line up girls to f.uck, when his priorities should be figuring out how he's going to take care of his kids and what he's going to do about getting a divorce.

Some people need some tough love. I'm not going to sit back and help enable him. He's got his priorities all wrong.



How good do you think that thoguht process was for him? he got cheated on by his wife, and has kids to take care of.. he was forced to leave his home and live with roomates.

And for any of you softies who think "whats wrong with being a perv? whats wrong with wanting to bang 2 girls u moved in with".. It's the scope of the situation. I'm oldschool, im more like your typical cowboy, serve justice and do right type of guy. I don't like that pervy mindset ****.. A lot of dudes these days have soft hands.

Nothing can stop you from being cheated other than not being in a relationship. Some dudes "got it like that", where as a matter of factly he can think "all I have to do is line up some new pvzzy", and does just that very easily. I'm not saying this dude has it like that but maybe he does.

 

[Exil]

You got this azz backwards IMO. Ive been down this road.
As far as the 3some goes what if they wanted too? It does happen.

His primary focus should be himself. Not his EX and not his kids. All that will fall into place once his mental point of origin is for his own welfare.
Theres the difference between RP aware and being RPilled.
Its actions not theory

This was the point I was trying to make. I've never said "it's nailed on". Just that it's a possibility and having never had one before, it could be a great experience for me and potentially for them. Obviously my kids are still a top priority for me as they've lost the security and safe feeling of their dad being there with them every day which is hard for any kid but I am focusing on myself now. How can I be a good dad if I'm not the man I want to be?

 

[Exil]

The world has become too soft and men are being raised to behave like women, think like women and sympathise with women. When I think back, all of my teachers at school during the 90's were women and we were taught to protect women, even the girls at school who you had no responsibility for. Now all those BP men have grown up and everyone wonders why women have become so "empowered".