djthiago1
Master Don Juan
It's been 4 months since my break-up, and my head is in it's place now, now trying to start dating again, but i'm very inexperienced and the thing that sets me back the most is: Where to go out with women?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Getting started on dating
- Thread starter djthiago1
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I actually thought your final question was some sort of typo heh
You're overthinking this then. Bring her with you to do something you like or were already going to do. If you don't like or do anything, pick something generic like coffee, bar, restaurant, walk in the park, go to X event in city, etc.
You're overthinking this then. Bring her with you to do something you like or were already going to do. If you don't like or do anything, pick something generic like coffee, bar, restaurant, walk in the park, go to X event in city, etc.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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- Aug 19, 2012
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Date 1: coffee place or bookstore. The "getting to know you" date, keep it under an hour
Date 2: Someplace where she can be entertained: comedy club, a restaurant with an interesting theme, a park (picnic is always good); keep the date under 2 hours
Date 3: Same as date 2. Also, try to find a place with a lil' ambiance where you two can FEEL like you're alone even if you're around people (i.e. museum, restaurant with limited seating but a great ambiance, poetry slam... the list goes on and on)
Date 4: By this point you should be able to get the "home alone" date (note: I know people on here are going to say they can get a girl to their place or hers before this... and that's fine. But, the best way for that to happen within the first 3 dates is if SHE suggests it. If not, date #4 is fine). Get your place looking nice and suggest a date where you cook for her and rent a movie. Women know asking for "dinner and a movie at my place or yours" is passive code for "I want to have sex." If she agrees to this date, 9 times out of 10 it means she's saying "Yes, sex can happen tonight."
That should get you through the first 4 dates - after that, it's pretty much Date 3 and 4 on repeat until she asks you to be the boyfriend, which should take 2 to 3 months if you're patient. Hope this helps!
Date 2: Someplace where she can be entertained: comedy club, a restaurant with an interesting theme, a park (picnic is always good); keep the date under 2 hours
Date 3: Same as date 2. Also, try to find a place with a lil' ambiance where you two can FEEL like you're alone even if you're around people (i.e. museum, restaurant with limited seating but a great ambiance, poetry slam... the list goes on and on)
Date 4: By this point you should be able to get the "home alone" date (note: I know people on here are going to say they can get a girl to their place or hers before this... and that's fine. But, the best way for that to happen within the first 3 dates is if SHE suggests it. If not, date #4 is fine). Get your place looking nice and suggest a date where you cook for her and rent a movie. Women know asking for "dinner and a movie at my place or yours" is passive code for "I want to have sex." If she agrees to this date, 9 times out of 10 it means she's saying "Yes, sex can happen tonight."
That should get you through the first 4 dates - after that, it's pretty much Date 3 and 4 on repeat until she asks you to be the boyfriend, which should take 2 to 3 months if you're patient. Hope this helps!
LiveFreeX
Banned
Goto Japan or the Phils buddy... I mean the second language in Japan is Portuguese anyway so what the hell?
Johnny1986
Don Juan
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- Feb 1, 2015
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Take her out to eat, then to "watch movies at your house afterward" which actually is code for massive kino and half ass watching a movie
Never failed for me
Never failed for me
SummerNight
Don Juan
Take her for a walk, to movies, to whatever. Ask her to meet for drinks in a pub near your home and then tell her to come at your place for real quick because you want to show her you xyz collection/travel pictured/cat. Then escalate from there.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Johnny1986
Don Juan
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You Dont HAVE TO bang her on the first date but you should be touching her a lot , possibly cuddling/rubbing on her while watching a movie and possibly trying to progress even further.
If she wants you to stop she'll let you know. She will only have respect for you for trying though.
Or you can be like the last 5 guys that took her out on a boring date with dinner and a movie concluded by a gay peck on the cheek, etc.
If she wants you to stop she'll let you know. She will only have respect for you for trying though.
Or you can be like the last 5 guys that took her out on a boring date with dinner and a movie concluded by a gay peck on the cheek, etc.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Comatozed said:
Agree with this.
Its a hook up culture...if i can get a girl wet by little things on the first date, im doing that thing until she cant take it anymore.
Date 4 should be her bringing take out and a movie of her choice, ill bring my drank.
And its not one date right after the other....people have lives.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,196
- Reaction score
- 204
That's not quite what I said. I mentioned that, if there is to be any smashing before the 4th date, she should be the one to initiate it via suggestions of going back to either of your places. However, if she's not doing that within the first 3 dates its because she's using that time to trust you and feel more comfortable with you that you're not just in it for the sex, which is a VITAL component for making her want to have sex with you more than once.Comatozed said:
There were plenty times in my past where I'd hook up with a girl on the first or second meeting, and afterward she'd stop wanting to do it. Why? No trust = minimal comfort = no repeat performances. Girls are weird like that sometimes. However, I found that the girls that ended up being more sexually open with me (and more frequent) were ones where I held off on mentioning sex, thus allowing THEM to bring it up. And like I always say, if they're bringing it up, they can't be rejecting it, which is a MUCH better position to be in.
By the 4th date, if she hasn't brought it up you should at least have built enough of a rapport with her to be able to invite her to your place with minimal push-back (as opposed to what many guys on here try to do, which is have the first date be at their place... and then they can't figure out why the girl rejected the suggestion). This isn't to say it can't ever happen, but I give advice based on probability, and probability-wise it's going to be easier to have a girl agree to an in-home date on date four vs. date one.
I guess it depends what you want from the girl. If you want repeat performances or LTR, take it slow. If not, don't.
A mate of mine once told a girl he was dating 'I'd hate you to think I was only after you for sex'. Which we all called homo at the time but it worked cos she became his gf.
My problem is that 90% of my dates are from tinder, and I don't wanna risk dating some tinder slut if she is just looking for a quick hook-up.
A mate of mine once told a girl he was dating 'I'd hate you to think I was only after you for sex'. Which we all called homo at the time but it worked cos she became his gf.
My problem is that 90% of my dates are from tinder, and I don't wanna risk dating some tinder slut if she is just looking for a quick hook-up.
B
BlueAlpha1
Guest
Have had success early on with amusement parks. Six Flags has rollercoasters to get the adrenaline flowing, i.e. she will associate you with the rush. It is also a spontaneity pit. You are free to do a multitude of unusual things in a split second.
Of course, this might be a little awkward for a first date, but it'd be great for a 3rd.
Of course, this might be a little awkward for a first date, but it'd be great for a 3rd.
Entertain her at your place, exactly the way this guy does:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNCOFJnpPGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNCOFJnpPGs
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.