"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Getting over my self-consciousness.

Viper

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I don't know why, but I'm very self-consious and as much as I try, I can't my mind off of what other people might be thinking about me. I'll try telling myself stuff like, "It doesn't matter what they think about you", "Why should you care what they think? Are they your friends?", " and I try to think about other things, but in the end, I'm still self-conscious and caring way to much about what other think. I'm always worried about what others think, I don't even have to know the person, and I'll be afraid of them thinking something bad about me. Always thinking, "Does that person notice I'm in this [mood]? Are they laughing at me because of it? Are they thinking bad about me because of it?", "What does that person think of me? Am I not acting like they expect me to?", "Does this person think that I'm a loser, because I'm not doing this and that with everyone else?" "If I do this, or this, what will that person/group of people think of me?". I'd just really like help with fixing this problem, because if I'm always self-conscious all the time and I'm always trying to act, like someone else thinks I should act, I'll never truly have fun, because I'm trying to create a good impression on them.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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adpreston1988

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Surround yourself with people that you don't have to be self concious around and apply it to other people. As long as you're having fun with people, the self-conciousness takes a backseat. It's when you start focusing on what people think of you that it takes up your entire thought process. Make your #1 goal to have a good time and hopefully the self-conciousness will lessen.
 

i am me

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what you need to do to care less about what strangers think is care more about yourself and the people you know. Make an effort to do what you think is best for yourself (mainly), your family (i know you've been having problems but u needa deal), and friends
 

somewhatsuave

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Yea i can sort of relate to your situation but on a smaller scale. I've overcome my self-consciousness a lot. I like to think that they can't judge me, like who the f**k are they doing that in the first place. Second, f**k what they think. You're gona let what someone else thinks about u bring u down, thats wasting time man and u know it. For some better advice search uncommon knowledge on google. Its a site dedicated to self help and theres USEFUL stuff in there.
 

supajsilver2

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Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr_rogers

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supajsilver2 said:
Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
Yeah, it's hard to draw the line at first. I'm still kind of struggling with that one myself. Good advice, bro.
 

shydude

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As far as i see it ~~~ YOU ARE SHY. U Have No Confidence! U know why?? Becouse you to dam focused on what other people may be thinking about you! Thats basically same thing as u walk up to the girl and keep thinking She likes me?? SHE thinks I am cute?? She thinks I am ugly??


Just stop it! Focus on what u have to do. U have to change ur attitude, u should be thinking Should i become his friend instead of does he think i am cool! U should think should i aks her out instead of U think she will like me!! you should be always in control no matter what the situation is! Hope it helps
 
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