"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Getting over my self-consciousness.

Viper

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I don't know why, but I'm very self-consious and as much as I try, I can't my mind off of what other people might be thinking about me. I'll try telling myself stuff like, "It doesn't matter what they think about you", "Why should you care what they think? Are they your friends?", " and I try to think about other things, but in the end, I'm still self-conscious and caring way to much about what other think. I'm always worried about what others think, I don't even have to know the person, and I'll be afraid of them thinking something bad about me. Always thinking, "Does that person notice I'm in this [mood]? Are they laughing at me because of it? Are they thinking bad about me because of it?", "What does that person think of me? Am I not acting like they expect me to?", "Does this person think that I'm a loser, because I'm not doing this and that with everyone else?" "If I do this, or this, what will that person/group of people think of me?". I'd just really like help with fixing this problem, because if I'm always self-conscious all the time and I'm always trying to act, like someone else thinks I should act, I'll never truly have fun, because I'm trying to create a good impression on them.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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adpreston1988

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Surround yourself with people that you don't have to be self concious around and apply it to other people. As long as you're having fun with people, the self-conciousness takes a backseat. It's when you start focusing on what people think of you that it takes up your entire thought process. Make your #1 goal to have a good time and hopefully the self-conciousness will lessen.
 

i am me

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what you need to do to care less about what strangers think is care more about yourself and the people you know. Make an effort to do what you think is best for yourself (mainly), your family (i know you've been having problems but u needa deal), and friends
 

somewhatsuave

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Yea i can sort of relate to your situation but on a smaller scale. I've overcome my self-consciousness a lot. I like to think that they can't judge me, like who the f**k are they doing that in the first place. Second, f**k what they think. You're gona let what someone else thinks about u bring u down, thats wasting time man and u know it. For some better advice search uncommon knowledge on google. Its a site dedicated to self help and theres USEFUL stuff in there.
 

supajsilver2

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Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Mr_rogers

Senior Don Juan
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supajsilver2 said:
Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
Yeah, it's hard to draw the line at first. I'm still kind of struggling with that one myself. Good advice, bro.
 

shydude

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As far as i see it ~~~ YOU ARE SHY. U Have No Confidence! U know why?? Becouse you to dam focused on what other people may be thinking about you! Thats basically same thing as u walk up to the girl and keep thinking She likes me?? SHE thinks I am cute?? She thinks I am ugly??


Just stop it! Focus on what u have to do. U have to change ur attitude, u should be thinking Should i become his friend instead of does he think i am cool! U should think should i aks her out instead of U think she will like me!! you should be always in control no matter what the situation is! Hope it helps
 
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