"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Getting over my self-consciousness.

Viper

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I don't know why, but I'm very self-consious and as much as I try, I can't my mind off of what other people might be thinking about me. I'll try telling myself stuff like, "It doesn't matter what they think about you", "Why should you care what they think? Are they your friends?", " and I try to think about other things, but in the end, I'm still self-conscious and caring way to much about what other think. I'm always worried about what others think, I don't even have to know the person, and I'll be afraid of them thinking something bad about me. Always thinking, "Does that person notice I'm in this [mood]? Are they laughing at me because of it? Are they thinking bad about me because of it?", "What does that person think of me? Am I not acting like they expect me to?", "Does this person think that I'm a loser, because I'm not doing this and that with everyone else?" "If I do this, or this, what will that person/group of people think of me?". I'd just really like help with fixing this problem, because if I'm always self-conscious all the time and I'm always trying to act, like someone else thinks I should act, I'll never truly have fun, because I'm trying to create a good impression on them.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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adpreston1988

Don Juan
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Surround yourself with people that you don't have to be self concious around and apply it to other people. As long as you're having fun with people, the self-conciousness takes a backseat. It's when you start focusing on what people think of you that it takes up your entire thought process. Make your #1 goal to have a good time and hopefully the self-conciousness will lessen.
 

i am me

Master Don Juan
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what you need to do to care less about what strangers think is care more about yourself and the people you know. Make an effort to do what you think is best for yourself (mainly), your family (i know you've been having problems but u needa deal), and friends
 

somewhatsuave

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Yea i can sort of relate to your situation but on a smaller scale. I've overcome my self-consciousness a lot. I like to think that they can't judge me, like who the f**k are they doing that in the first place. Second, f**k what they think. You're gona let what someone else thinks about u bring u down, thats wasting time man and u know it. For some better advice search uncommon knowledge on google. Its a site dedicated to self help and theres USEFUL stuff in there.
 

supajsilver2

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Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr_rogers

Senior Don Juan
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supajsilver2 said:
Watch it though, if you try to tell yourself "Oh, fvck them, why does it matter what they think," too often, you could get a smug attitude--something I developed trying to overcome my own self-consciousness for awhile. Not a good thing--there's a big difference between ****y and smug.
Yeah, it's hard to draw the line at first. I'm still kind of struggling with that one myself. Good advice, bro.
 

shydude

Master Don Juan
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As far as i see it ~~~ YOU ARE SHY. U Have No Confidence! U know why?? Becouse you to dam focused on what other people may be thinking about you! Thats basically same thing as u walk up to the girl and keep thinking She likes me?? SHE thinks I am cute?? She thinks I am ugly??


Just stop it! Focus on what u have to do. U have to change ur attitude, u should be thinking Should i become his friend instead of does he think i am cool! U should think should i aks her out instead of U think she will like me!! you should be always in control no matter what the situation is! Hope it helps
 
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