So there was a talent show last night, and I just sucked up there, dude. Went up there infront of a big audience, felt really nervous, couldn't remember the notes, and didn't look like I knew what I was doing. It didn't completely suck, because now I atleast know what I've got to improve on, before I go up stage again, also, most would've just quit if they were as unprepared as me, but I went up there. The thing I'm worried about is that everyone now thinks that I suck, and don't know how to play guitar, I even heard some girls talking in the audience. Bad enough that people already think I'm special, and this only gives them something more to slaughter my reputation with. There were a few people who said I did a good job, but I think they're just saying that to make me feel better. Getting to the point, how would a Don Juan take this failure? Should a Don Juan even CARE what other people think?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Getting over embarassment.
- Thread starter MikeViper
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
I thought you were banned. In any case, I'm in a real good mood, and you might have turned over a new leaf. So here goes.
Ever heard the maxim "you cannot have success without failure". Look at the rich and affluent in the world today...Donald Trump, Alan Sugar and Richard Branson....all failed, all went broke...all picked themselves up and are now extremly wealthy men.
Applying this to your situation is easy....you failed, so what? We all burn out, but that experience teaches us not to burn out the next time round.
Ever heard the maxim "you cannot have success without failure". Look at the rich and affluent in the world today...Donald Trump, Alan Sugar and Richard Branson....all failed, all went broke...all picked themselves up and are now extremly wealthy men.
Applying this to your situation is easy....you failed, so what? We all burn out, but that experience teaches us not to burn out the next time round.
So what your saying is that I should learn from my failures, and use what I learn from my failures to not mess up again? I think I can understand that. Also now that I think about it, experienced guitarist like John Petrucci, weren't born experienced guitarist, they had to go through a lot of work, and failures, to get where they are now. Maybe this failure is even a sign of something good coming in the future.WesCottII said:
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
Exactly. It's just a big lesson.
Rather like approaching women, the first time you do it, it's best to get rejected. That way, you know that the rejection won't kill you, and it helps you with confidence.
In this situation, you know that screwing up isn't that bad (you'll probably look back and laugh) and it'll help you not be so nervous next time, hence less chance of screwing up.
Rather like approaching women, the first time you do it, it's best to get rejected. That way, you know that the rejection won't kill you, and it helps you with confidence.
In this situation, you know that screwing up isn't that bad (you'll probably look back and laugh) and it'll help you not be so nervous next time, hence less chance of screwing up.
Hey man, I totally feel for you...just happened to me last week actually 
I was about to go into a gut-busting solo when my amp fried, and the audience started going "Huh? WTF?"... AND the show was recorded for TV-broadcast...
I wouldn't go as far as calling myself a fully fledged DJ, but you know how I dealt with f*cking up in front of a crazy crowd and letting my bandmates down? I LAUGHED it off!!! I genuinely found it funny, and it made for a good story! I can now use that as a short little story to tell girls just for sh*ts n giggles. My life is one level deeper now after that experience
Besides, you'd be surprised at
a) how tone deaf the audience is (once, i went onstage with one of my strings detuned by an entire note- and no one noticed!)
b) How little people care about these things. Stop being so self-conscious. "Reputation" is nothing. It can be built and destroyed in a HEARTBEAT. DJ's have more important things to worry about.
If the audience say you did good, why bother doubting them?
As a musician, you've got my respect anyways. How many people play guitar? 19326823.
How many of them have guts to play live in front of a huge live audience? Not many.
Just treat it as a positive learning experience, and stop worrying about your godamn rep.
Guitarists don't care about their rep.:rockon:
p.s ten browny points for MENTIONING petrucci. Greatest guitarist ever, no debate. DT's my favourite band.
I was about to go into a gut-busting solo when my amp fried, and the audience started going "Huh? WTF?"... AND the show was recorded for TV-broadcast...
I wouldn't go as far as calling myself a fully fledged DJ, but you know how I dealt with f*cking up in front of a crazy crowd and letting my bandmates down? I LAUGHED it off!!! I genuinely found it funny, and it made for a good story! I can now use that as a short little story to tell girls just for sh*ts n giggles. My life is one level deeper now after that experience
Besides, you'd be surprised at
a) how tone deaf the audience is (once, i went onstage with one of my strings detuned by an entire note- and no one noticed!)
b) How little people care about these things. Stop being so self-conscious. "Reputation" is nothing. It can be built and destroyed in a HEARTBEAT. DJ's have more important things to worry about.
If the audience say you did good, why bother doubting them?
As a musician, you've got my respect anyways. How many people play guitar? 19326823.
How many of them have guts to play live in front of a huge live audience? Not many.
Just treat it as a positive learning experience, and stop worrying about your godamn rep.
Guitarists don't care about their rep.:rockon:
p.s ten browny points for MENTIONING petrucci. Greatest guitarist ever, no debate. DT's my favourite band.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.