Greetings.
I've been on social for a while, but this is my first post on this forum, and my first post for many years. I was a member of the original StyleLife Forum. Like many things, once you learn something well enough, you move on to the next. After helping a good friend of mine with a terrible breakup, I realized I still have things worthy of sharing.
I found the community after a particularly tough breakup when I returned from Afghanistan. I spent some 20+ years in pickup. Some of my skill sets among others include being a certified hypnotist, NLP practitioner, and a US Army psychological operations specialist.
Anyway, I put this script together for my friend, and he found immediate relief from a oneitis that was crippling his life. I hope that in sharing this, it may help some of you.
Part I: Deepening and Entering the Sanctuary
Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can completely let go... where you won't be disturbed for a little while. Allow yourself to settle in, take a slow, deep breath, and as you exhale, simply close your eyes.
Allow your body to drift. Let every muscle relax—from the top of your head all the way down to the tips of your toes. And as you sink deeper and deeper into this comfortable, state of deep relaxation, allow your mind to drift... way back. Back through the timeline of your life, to your earliest, purest memories.
Think of the people, the places, the pets—all the things you have truly valued most throughout your life. Those things and beings that gave your life deep meaning. And in particular, pay very close attention to those people, places, or companions who have shaped you, or who have passed on before you.
Spend some quiet time with each one. Feel the warmth of those moments of love, comfort, and deep connection. Let yourself linger there, soaking in everything of true value... keeping your focus entirely on those pure connections, leaving your ex completely out of these thoughts.
And when you eventually return from this drift, take a moment to gently list, in order, those things you value most in your life—keeping your focus entirely on what is real, meaningful, and yours.
Part II: Reclaiming Your Greatest Self
On another day, when you are ready, return to that quiet sanctuary where you are completely alone with your own thoughts. Close your eyes, let go instantly, and drift deep down into that somnambulist state of total comfort and well being..
Drift back now to specific moments where you felt truly amazing. Moments where you were proud of yourself, where you accomplished something significant, where you rose above adversity. Spend time right there, watching yourself, feeling the intense emotional resonance of those peak moments of your life. Events where you felt, and were, completely amazing. Or, if you prefer, imagine yourself stepping into things you’ve always wanted to do—accomplishing the impossible, feeling that rush of capability.
If your ex tries to barge into these sacred thoughts, imagine a door. A heavy, magical door to your inner sanctuary that you can close. A door so strong and thick that once it shuts, you cannot hear, see, or think of her ever again. Look her in the eye and watch her expression as that door closes. And then... just let it go.
Return fully to those thoughts of your own triumphs. Those great moments where you felt unstoppable. Allow yourself to feel the presence of a parent, a grandparent, a best friend, or a faithful pet that you deeply loved. Experience it like a movie of your greatest personal hits.
And as you watch, take particular notice: How good do you feel inside? Where do you feel that goodness? Is it in your chest? Your heart? Does your whole body seem to glow and pulsate with those feelings?
Now, shift your focus to those moments of purely your own accomplishments. Put a distinct color to those, too. Breathe that color in and out. Allow it to surround you. Name that feeling and remember it. Learn it. Take it in deeply, so that you can bring it back anytime you need it—because after all, it is yours, and no one can ever take it away.
When you return from this journey, write down those greatest hits. Review your notes over the next few days, visiting those memories until they are anchored firmly in your mind.
Part III: Weighing True Value
Now, in your relaxed state, look at that list of people, companions, and moments that mean the most to you. Pick the one that, if you could bring it back above everything else in the world, you would choose.
Start from the very beginning of your past relationships and ask yourself: If you could have that parent back, that sibling, that best friend, or that loyal dog... would you trade that for your ex?
Allow yourself to truly see the value of that parent, friend, or companion, and all the unconditional love they gave you. Imagine what it would be like to have them back. Would you ever put your ex above them?
Realize what true love actually is—the way a parent took care of you, looked at you without judgment, or the unwavering loyalty of a faithful dog. When you weigh your ex against those pure truths, she naturally fades away. Because you finally recognize what real value looks like. And in doing so, you learn your own true value, remembering how many more moments of amazing fulfillment you still have the power to create.
Part IV: Dust, Ashes, and Closure
Know that those loved ones and things of your past will survive with you forever, safe in your heart.
Now, allow yourself to drift back down into that quiet, deep trance. See your ex for who she truly is. Just another person who briefly stepped into your life, and has now stepped out of it. Watch her closely, standing across from you, aging with time, getting older by the moment... until she becomes so very old that she begins to crumble before you, falling gently to the ground as dust and ashes.
Until finally, all that is left is the quiet dust and ashes of the past.
You calmly pick up a broom and a dustpan, sweep those remnants up, and walk over to the filing cabinet of your life. You open a drawer, pour it in, and firmly close the door on that chapter of your life.
You walk out of that room, finding a magical door waiting for you there as well. You close it securely, knowing that while you can always remember the genuinely good lessons of your past whenever you choose, you are entirely in control of the door, and the memories you allow in.
Take a deep, refreshing breath. Bring all of that power, color, and value back with you, and open your eyes when you are ready.
I've been on social for a while, but this is my first post on this forum, and my first post for many years. I was a member of the original StyleLife Forum. Like many things, once you learn something well enough, you move on to the next. After helping a good friend of mine with a terrible breakup, I realized I still have things worthy of sharing.
I found the community after a particularly tough breakup when I returned from Afghanistan. I spent some 20+ years in pickup. Some of my skill sets among others include being a certified hypnotist, NLP practitioner, and a US Army psychological operations specialist.
Anyway, I put this script together for my friend, and he found immediate relief from a oneitis that was crippling his life. I hope that in sharing this, it may help some of you.
Part I: Deepening and Entering the Sanctuary
Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can completely let go... where you won't be disturbed for a little while. Allow yourself to settle in, take a slow, deep breath, and as you exhale, simply close your eyes.
Allow your body to drift. Let every muscle relax—from the top of your head all the way down to the tips of your toes. And as you sink deeper and deeper into this comfortable, state of deep relaxation, allow your mind to drift... way back. Back through the timeline of your life, to your earliest, purest memories.
Think of the people, the places, the pets—all the things you have truly valued most throughout your life. Those things and beings that gave your life deep meaning. And in particular, pay very close attention to those people, places, or companions who have shaped you, or who have passed on before you.
Spend some quiet time with each one. Feel the warmth of those moments of love, comfort, and deep connection. Let yourself linger there, soaking in everything of true value... keeping your focus entirely on those pure connections, leaving your ex completely out of these thoughts.
And when you eventually return from this drift, take a moment to gently list, in order, those things you value most in your life—keeping your focus entirely on what is real, meaningful, and yours.
Part II: Reclaiming Your Greatest Self
On another day, when you are ready, return to that quiet sanctuary where you are completely alone with your own thoughts. Close your eyes, let go instantly, and drift deep down into that somnambulist state of total comfort and well being..
Drift back now to specific moments where you felt truly amazing. Moments where you were proud of yourself, where you accomplished something significant, where you rose above adversity. Spend time right there, watching yourself, feeling the intense emotional resonance of those peak moments of your life. Events where you felt, and were, completely amazing. Or, if you prefer, imagine yourself stepping into things you’ve always wanted to do—accomplishing the impossible, feeling that rush of capability.
If your ex tries to barge into these sacred thoughts, imagine a door. A heavy, magical door to your inner sanctuary that you can close. A door so strong and thick that once it shuts, you cannot hear, see, or think of her ever again. Look her in the eye and watch her expression as that door closes. And then... just let it go.
Return fully to those thoughts of your own triumphs. Those great moments where you felt unstoppable. Allow yourself to feel the presence of a parent, a grandparent, a best friend, or a faithful pet that you deeply loved. Experience it like a movie of your greatest personal hits.
And as you watch, take particular notice: How good do you feel inside? Where do you feel that goodness? Is it in your chest? Your heart? Does your whole body seem to glow and pulsate with those feelings?
- Name that feeling.
- Put a color to it—whatever color comes immediately to your mind, whether it is bright, shimmering, pulsating, or flowing.
- Allow yourself to see and feel those special moments infused with that color and brilliance.
Now, shift your focus to those moments of purely your own accomplishments. Put a distinct color to those, too. Breathe that color in and out. Allow it to surround you. Name that feeling and remember it. Learn it. Take it in deeply, so that you can bring it back anytime you need it—because after all, it is yours, and no one can ever take it away.
When you return from this journey, write down those greatest hits. Review your notes over the next few days, visiting those memories until they are anchored firmly in your mind.
Part III: Weighing True Value
Now, in your relaxed state, look at that list of people, companions, and moments that mean the most to you. Pick the one that, if you could bring it back above everything else in the world, you would choose.
Start from the very beginning of your past relationships and ask yourself: If you could have that parent back, that sibling, that best friend, or that loyal dog... would you trade that for your ex?
Allow yourself to truly see the value of that parent, friend, or companion, and all the unconditional love they gave you. Imagine what it would be like to have them back. Would you ever put your ex above them?
Realize what true love actually is—the way a parent took care of you, looked at you without judgment, or the unwavering loyalty of a faithful dog. When you weigh your ex against those pure truths, she naturally fades away. Because you finally recognize what real value looks like. And in doing so, you learn your own true value, remembering how many more moments of amazing fulfillment you still have the power to create.
Part IV: Dust, Ashes, and Closure
Know that those loved ones and things of your past will survive with you forever, safe in your heart.
Now, allow yourself to drift back down into that quiet, deep trance. See your ex for who she truly is. Just another person who briefly stepped into your life, and has now stepped out of it. Watch her closely, standing across from you, aging with time, getting older by the moment... until she becomes so very old that she begins to crumble before you, falling gently to the ground as dust and ashes.
Until finally, all that is left is the quiet dust and ashes of the past.
You calmly pick up a broom and a dustpan, sweep those remnants up, and walk over to the filing cabinet of your life. You open a drawer, pour it in, and firmly close the door on that chapter of your life.
You walk out of that room, finding a magical door waiting for you there as well. You close it securely, knowing that while you can always remember the genuinely good lessons of your past whenever you choose, you are entirely in control of the door, and the memories you allow in.
Take a deep, refreshing breath. Bring all of that power, color, and value back with you, and open your eyes when you are ready.
