Getting over a SO's past

[roflzaur]

My SO that I have been with for ~3 months I have been learning has quite the past. She got around a lot in her college years and it is hard to overcome.

I am usually ok with a girl's past, but I cant wipe this one's past. She has told me she stopped sleeping with randoms a year after she got out of college. She has told me she loves me and hasn't felt this way about anyone, but I am wary.

In my opinion, once a slut always a slut. I rarely see people change. Has anybody seen sluts in college change their ways? Should I let this girls past go and trust her? Or should I walk?

 

[AAAgent]

there isn't anything you can do about someone's past. Think long and hard. If you really can't accept her past (i've learned not to inquire about these things unless necessary), then all you can do is find someone who you can accept because this situation/feeling will always reappear if you can't overcome it now. Everyone has a history, it's just a matter of accepting it or not. If you can't don't cheat yourself and waste your own time.

 

[donking]

Get out now. I married this chick knowing she had been with 8 guys (that she admits to), and it bugs the hell out of me daily. We are getting divorced soon.

Don't settle.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I take the "Don't ask, don't tell" view when it comes to women.
Ignorance is bliss.
But now the cat's out of the bag, I guess you have a tough choice.

I've slept with a lot of women, so I don't think I'm in a position to judge a girl on how many partners she's had.
Still, I wouldn't settle for the town bike or a low-breed cvm junkie. And the only time I've rejected a girl because of her past was because she had slept with three of my friends.
I told her I just couldn't stand the thought of being the romantic couple with her in social settings when I know what my mates did to her previously.
She didn't take it very well at all.
I also imagined these guys - while still my friends - sitting there laughing at the fact they had fvcked my girlfriend.
That's what I'm like when I see former lays getting around with boyfriends later on.
One night a mate introduced me and another friend to his fiancé (we hadn't seen him in a while obviously) and she was a chick me and the guy I was with had double teamed a couple of years earlier. Very awkward but we didn't let on.

We all like to imagine our girlfriends as delicate little flowers but 99% of them would have some skeletons in the closet they would not be proud of.

It's hard to get the images of her past out of your head but if you really like her - and she hasn't fvcked any of your friends - maybe it's worth a go.
However, if she's fvcked like a whole football team or just been an inveterate slvt, politely make your excuses and GTFO.

It also comes down to what you define as "slvt".
If a woman had fvcked 20 guys but had been in exclusive relationships with all of them, does that put her in the same category as a woman who's had 20 ONS?
Or a woman who twice slept with 10 guys on the one night?

No one wants to be the douche who becomes devoted to the town cvm receptacle, so if you are still socialising in places where her past is well known, it might be best to bail. Just for your pride's sake.

 

[Itsjustme]

Look at it this way, she was honest with you. Finding a virgin that's dedicated to you and only you is Disney stuff, in this day and age most every girl has been around. It's the ones that won't tell you about it and want to hide **** from you that you have to worry about because they are still living in the past. It takes integrity for a girl to own it.

Bottom line is it's your deal, you either accept it and support her and maybe things work out for the best or you move on and look for another one. The last thing you want to do is hold her past over her head because it's your choice to stay with her if that's what you decide and that means letting go of the past. It's hard I know, I'm going through it right now but for me it's 100% worth it.

 

[betheman]

the past is often a predictor of the future, ignore it at your peril.
would you trust your worldly good, your possessions, and your children to such a woman? me? NO!
Have an ltr with yeah, but marriage and committment? NO

 

[Itsjustme]

Something special about her vag? Seriously? It's what's attached to it that matters!

 

[drak_ool]

I know that if I were in your situation, the first question I would ask is, did she make me wait? And none of the others? That seems pretty disrespectful.

quoted for truth! I've been in that situation before and it really made me feel retarded. I mean here I am, taking out this girl on dates, hanging out with her and what not, all the time knowing that others had that pvssy on first try. I understand she sees me as bf material and what not, but I don't want a relationship, I just want to bang.

I still chased them until I got the pvssy, however after getting laid 2 or 3 times, my attraction to both these girls simply disappeared. It's not that I judge them or watever, but my d.ick simply isn't interested anymore. These days when I meet a girl I like I tell her as soon as she breaches the subject that I don't want to know anything about her past. No ons, no bf stories, no f-buddy stories, no nothing. Don't ask, don't tell is my policy.

 

[Silvertip]

I'm joining the chorus of people who say "stay away." I dated a girl in college who was quite the slvt and I was convinced this was different. It was...until summer break came around. She won't admit to it, but I think she messed around when I was conveniently out of sight. When we got back, she dumped me and (surprise surprise) she returned to her wh0rish ways. People don't change, and as someone else said, this stuff will eat at you. It's best to bail.

 

[synergy1]

People don't change, and as someone else said, this stuff will eat at you. It's best to bail.

people don't change when they are women, but they can change following the DJ bible?

This situation isn't that she is sleeping around now and lying, its that she got around before and they were up front about it. In this case, I have seen no breach of trust. There are plenty of guys on this forum who have gotten around, but do not any longer. Are we to believe those people are untrustworthy based on this premise alone? Its not as easy of a question to answer.

I will say this though- if you are uncomfortable with this, than nothing you or her can do to change your mind. you can pretend it doesn't bother you for only so long, but it always will. This is where you need to evaluate yourself in earnest and determine if this SO is worth pursuing.

 

[betheman]

people don't change when they are women, but they can change following the DJ bible?

This situation isn't that she is sleeping around now and lying, its that she got around before and they were up front about it. In this case, I have seen no breach of trust. There are plenty of guys on this forum who have gotten around, but do not any longer. Are we to believe those people are untrustworthy based on this premise alone? Its not as easy of a question to answer.

I will say this though- if you are uncomfortable with this, than nothing you or her can do to change your mind. you can pretend it doesn't bother you for only so long, but it always will. This is where you need to evaluate yourself in earnest and determine if this SO is worth pursuing.

lot of sense in your post, however comparing men to women or vice versa, you need to take into account motivation and reasoning, women are pretty much ruled by emotion with regard to relationships/sex, men in realtionships are likely to be more faithful, they have fewer options for a start. what drove these women to take bucket loads of C um in the sl utty years was the feeling that lifestyle generated, the tingles. Im sorry but the need and drive for those tingles never goes away, it may subside but by hitching up with one of these, should your relationship hit a slope at any given point (most do) then the need for 'tingly time' comes back and she is more likely to go and relive her yout again.

 

[AW1983]

Get out now. I married this chick knowing she had been with 8 guys (that she admits to), and it bugs the hell out of me daily. We are getting divorced soon.

Don't settle.

8? Depends on how old she is but that ain't that bad man if she's in her mid to late twenties or older. Especially the hotter the chick. The hotter they are the more (older and more experienced at the Game) Alphas they had charming them from a younger age so more opportunities presented themselves from a point before they even knew or realized to have some self-restraint. I'm talking like 13 onward. Girls from 13 to roughly 19 are dumb as rocks and make some stupid decisions. Probably like most of us did. Also I think the point is very valid of the nature of said couplings...were the ONS's or committed relationships? Variables matter here.

 

[( . )( . )]

8? Depends on how old she is but that ain't that bad man if she's in her mid to late twenties or older.

Not now it's not, but don't forget there was a time when 8 was hor of Babylon material.

Now 8 is just a long weekend, too many rasberry vodkas and a you go gurrrrrrl.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Be less concerned with a woman's notch count and more concerned with the significance of the impact that the last Alpha she ƒucked left her with. 5 minutes of Alpha trumps 5 years of beta servitude.

If you're her first significant Alpha it wont matter how many guys she's banged, and if she only ƒucked one Alpha lover before you, that's too many. The reason why virgin girls cling to the guy who took their virginity is because they have no prior reference to compare him too. He's Alpha by default just for being the first guy with the skills to make her want to open her legs.

It's better to be the most dominante Alpha a girl's ever banged than the doting Beta of a girl who can't get over the one Alpha she ƒucked 10 years prior.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

 

[samspade]

Be less concerned with a woman's notch count and more concerned with the significance of the impact that the last Alpha she ƒucked left her with. 5 minutes of Alpha trumps 5 years of beta servitude.

If you're her first significant Alpha it wont matter how many guys she's banged, and if she only ƒucked one Alpha lover before you, that's too many. The reason why virgin girls cling to the guy who took their virginity is because they have no prior reference to compare him too. He's Alpha by default just for being the first guy with the skills to make her want to open her legs.

It's better to be the most dominante Alpha a girl's ever banged than the doting Beta of a girl who can't get over the one Alpha she ƒucked 10 years prior.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

I don't think you should focus only on her Alpha Widow status at the expense of her notch count. That still matters and still tells us something. It's very 21st Century to throw up one's arms and say "well they're horny and want sex too." But we can't forget the first law of the sexual marketplace - eggs are valuable; sperm is cheap. No amount of social conditioning can remove this stigma.

However! I'm also of the "don't ask, don't tell" school of thought. I stopped caring about the woman's past long ago. And I'll tell you why.

The late great JoPhil once posted that whether you seek the information or not, a woman will eventually communicate to you her values and some idea of her personal history. You won't ever get an itemized list, nor should you want one. But she will find a way to volunteer an abstract picture of where she's been and what she's done and most importantly who she is.

From there, it is up to you to decide if this jibes with your personal values. There are two dangerous extremes a man can take. One is that he deems her a slvt. The other is that he rationalizes her behavior even if he finds it repugnant. There's no reason to do either; just be honest with yourself about what you're comfortable with and what you're not and act accordingly. It sounds simple, but being honest with one's self is a rare act. People lie to themselves all the time and as a result they live unhappy lives.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

 

[Baibars]

Why should a man commit to a woman if she has a high notch count? I don't understand what could even be so precious she could provide me that makes me want to be exclusive with a girl who slept around. Why all this headache?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Get out now. I married this chick knowing she had been with 8 guys (that she admits to), and it bugs the hell out of me daily. We are getting divorced soon.

Don't settle.

8 guys lol. Thats a near virginal body count.

 

[SW15]

I try not to ask. I use condoms. I don't expect relationships to last longer than 5 years. I don't plan to put a ring on it or have kids. This is how I make that issue semi-irrelevant.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just found out someone I was into had been in at least one orgy lol

Orgy or gangbang?