Hey guys, just really using this as an opportunity to let off some steam about a chick who has messed my head up this last month (and one I never even got to meet) It's pretty long, but not hard to read - maybe some of you guys can take something from it if you're in a simlar situation. I displayed many AFC tendencies, but thank god for this place.
I've already posted on So Suave about it before, so am not seeking further advice or criticism, just to get it off my chest..and maybe help out others.
Last month I received a Private Message out of the blue, on a 'sports/music' forum I go on, from a chick (aged 28 like me. Also worth saying, the male/female ratio there is, like, 6:200 in favour of guys)
Things escalated over 4-5 days from 'Getting to know you' (kinda like speed dating!) messaging, to downright dirty exchange of sexual messages and fantasies, then numbers swapped, then photos of each other, which made a very very high IL from her - she wanted to meet up, and for me to simply fvck her senseless - nothing more, nothing less. After leaving a 6yr LTR I did't have any other plates to spin, so I was more than happy to fvck her on a no-strings basis!
Two things worth noting here:
* She is quite well-known on the forum for being very teasy/sexual - I can vouch for this, as all she ever talks about is sex, sex, sex - very little else. The guys on there - 99% of them are AFC/Orbiters/Creeps - lap this up, and she loves the attention. She said that she gets a lot of PMs from guys, but that none ever escalated as much as ours did (bs?)
* Another major thing to note is she is in a relationship with a guy, (LTR, house together, steady jobs, that kind of crap) but said things were 'very stale' and that he was a jerk who complained and moaned about everything, and she was on the verge of leaving him. (branch swinging?)
After 5 days of non-stop horny messaging and photo exchanges, and making offers to meet up, she went silent over the weekend and got back to me on the Monday with 'Had a horrible weekend - argued badly with my fella, gave him an ultimatum to cheer up and enjoy life, and he's been sooo nice to me ever since - I'm so confused...but deep down I'm still really looking forward to meeting you...'
This was followed by 2 more days of the usual sexual texts whilst she was attending a 3-day conference away from her guy (I made her come, apparently) - and then...silence. 4 days passed with nothing. I had to drop her a message to see if she was ok (bit of C+F, not desperate etc)
She then messaged me the following day, saying stuff like 'I'm very confused right now, I feel very bad and guilty, my BF is being sooo nice etc) - yet that VERY same day, and in ALL the days after, she was c0ck-teasing guys on the forum left, right and centre! I maintained a dignified silence throughout. She apparently has met some of the guys for drinks in recent times too - basically about 7-8 guys - and her, having a drink or two (major AW symptoms?)
Thus, 2 weeks of silence between us ensued, before an 'out of the blue' text saying stuff like 'how's my gorgeous boy' and 'sorry for my lack of dirty messages lately, I think my bf was onto me before' - so I replied out of courtesy, asked open questions (hows things, did you miss our fun? etc) - And she didn't reply - yet again! (When she didn't' reply, I NEVER texted her again)
Then 3 days later, she sends more texts like 'hi sexy, whatcha up to?' and so on, and I replied with sexy (non-AFC, C+F!) messages, told her of the things I'd do to her - she enjoyed it, then sent me a pic of her nice t1ts in a lacy bra, and added me on MSN Messender (she never uses it) ending with 'speak soon sexy' - and that was 5 days ago.
But, you know what, through all this, she continues the AW-ing on that forum, so I have thought 'fvck it,' and am now going down the no-contact route. I am sick of being a puppet on a string for her, and refuse to be one of her Orbiters - starting TODAY. Her number and messages are being deleted - I'm keeping the pics though, they were hot! My initial frustrations turned to anger-turned to disappointment-turned to indifference.
I plan on never visiting the forum again - it was messing with my head knowing that I'd messaged her, and thought she'd not replied after 4 days cos she was busy - yet was watching live, in front of my own eyes as she was whorring herself online with dozens of fellas (age range 18-50)
I am finding it a massive relief guys, a massive relief. I don't feel the need to chase her, and I'm not checking my phone every 5 minutes for the 'text that never comes.' - something I have spent the best part of 4 weeks doing. And you know what? She's so flaky, inconsistent and such an AW anyway, that I just can't be bothered with all that junk.
Ultimately, and the reason for this post, is that I'm very, very annoyed at myself for displaying such AFC tendencies and many symptoms of Oneitis (it IS a disease) - and letting this chick use me for an ego boost then drop me like a stone. It's worse because we definitely clicked, with shared interests, and the fact that she was a good laugh, with a major IL towards me (initially..). I had come out of a 6yr LTR, maybe I had a skewed view of how chicks play games.
For now, I intend to not pursue any women, and work instead of my cardio/body building and improving my wardrobe over the next 6 months. I got scruffy, idle and complacent in my LTR so need to improve in these areas. Then we can talk about spinning plates.
I may update this every 5 days or so, it's just a big help to get all this out of my system here. Thanks for reading - it was very long, but a major relief to get it out, hope some guys can take something from it.
I've already posted on So Suave about it before, so am not seeking further advice or criticism, just to get it off my chest..and maybe help out others.
Last month I received a Private Message out of the blue, on a 'sports/music' forum I go on, from a chick (aged 28 like me. Also worth saying, the male/female ratio there is, like, 6:200 in favour of guys)
Things escalated over 4-5 days from 'Getting to know you' (kinda like speed dating!) messaging, to downright dirty exchange of sexual messages and fantasies, then numbers swapped, then photos of each other, which made a very very high IL from her - she wanted to meet up, and for me to simply fvck her senseless - nothing more, nothing less. After leaving a 6yr LTR I did't have any other plates to spin, so I was more than happy to fvck her on a no-strings basis!
Two things worth noting here:
* She is quite well-known on the forum for being very teasy/sexual - I can vouch for this, as all she ever talks about is sex, sex, sex - very little else. The guys on there - 99% of them are AFC/Orbiters/Creeps - lap this up, and she loves the attention. She said that she gets a lot of PMs from guys, but that none ever escalated as much as ours did (bs?)
* Another major thing to note is she is in a relationship with a guy, (LTR, house together, steady jobs, that kind of crap) but said things were 'very stale' and that he was a jerk who complained and moaned about everything, and she was on the verge of leaving him. (branch swinging?)
After 5 days of non-stop horny messaging and photo exchanges, and making offers to meet up, she went silent over the weekend and got back to me on the Monday with 'Had a horrible weekend - argued badly with my fella, gave him an ultimatum to cheer up and enjoy life, and he's been sooo nice to me ever since - I'm so confused...but deep down I'm still really looking forward to meeting you...'
This was followed by 2 more days of the usual sexual texts whilst she was attending a 3-day conference away from her guy (I made her come, apparently) - and then...silence. 4 days passed with nothing. I had to drop her a message to see if she was ok (bit of C+F, not desperate etc)
She then messaged me the following day, saying stuff like 'I'm very confused right now, I feel very bad and guilty, my BF is being sooo nice etc) - yet that VERY same day, and in ALL the days after, she was c0ck-teasing guys on the forum left, right and centre! I maintained a dignified silence throughout. She apparently has met some of the guys for drinks in recent times too - basically about 7-8 guys - and her, having a drink or two (major AW symptoms?)
Thus, 2 weeks of silence between us ensued, before an 'out of the blue' text saying stuff like 'how's my gorgeous boy' and 'sorry for my lack of dirty messages lately, I think my bf was onto me before' - so I replied out of courtesy, asked open questions (hows things, did you miss our fun? etc) - And she didn't reply - yet again! (When she didn't' reply, I NEVER texted her again)
Then 3 days later, she sends more texts like 'hi sexy, whatcha up to?' and so on, and I replied with sexy (non-AFC, C+F!) messages, told her of the things I'd do to her - she enjoyed it, then sent me a pic of her nice t1ts in a lacy bra, and added me on MSN Messender (she never uses it) ending with 'speak soon sexy' - and that was 5 days ago.
But, you know what, through all this, she continues the AW-ing on that forum, so I have thought 'fvck it,' and am now going down the no-contact route. I am sick of being a puppet on a string for her, and refuse to be one of her Orbiters - starting TODAY. Her number and messages are being deleted - I'm keeping the pics though, they were hot! My initial frustrations turned to anger-turned to disappointment-turned to indifference.
I plan on never visiting the forum again - it was messing with my head knowing that I'd messaged her, and thought she'd not replied after 4 days cos she was busy - yet was watching live, in front of my own eyes as she was whorring herself online with dozens of fellas (age range 18-50)
I am finding it a massive relief guys, a massive relief. I don't feel the need to chase her, and I'm not checking my phone every 5 minutes for the 'text that never comes.' - something I have spent the best part of 4 weeks doing. And you know what? She's so flaky, inconsistent and such an AW anyway, that I just can't be bothered with all that junk.
Ultimately, and the reason for this post, is that I'm very, very annoyed at myself for displaying such AFC tendencies and many symptoms of Oneitis (it IS a disease) - and letting this chick use me for an ego boost then drop me like a stone. It's worse because we definitely clicked, with shared interests, and the fact that she was a good laugh, with a major IL towards me (initially..). I had come out of a 6yr LTR, maybe I had a skewed view of how chicks play games.
For now, I intend to not pursue any women, and work instead of my cardio/body building and improving my wardrobe over the next 6 months. I got scruffy, idle and complacent in my LTR so need to improve in these areas. Then we can talk about spinning plates.
I may update this every 5 days or so, it's just a big help to get all this out of my system here. Thanks for reading - it was very long, but a major relief to get it out, hope some guys can take something from it.
