thelonewolflegend
Banned
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I was listening to some eddie murphy help gave ideas so wonder if anyone got insprations from?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
getting ideas for funny things to say standup comedians yall prefer?
- Thread starter thelonewolflegend
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
mr. kennedy
Senior Don Juan
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Bill Burr
thelonewolflegend
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I heard a mgtow one heis good what else would listen?
This is a good topic...
Humour is essential in all aspects of life. After all, we all have to deal with the grande broma final...
watching stand up is brilliant in my opinion as it keeps you in a comedic state of mind. that been said I think it's essential to match your humour with your personality. it has to match your philosophy or else it comes across as contrived...
my two favorite comics are English and Scottish. Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. They take comedy to the edge and ....provoke!!!
I like to push things...it usually gets a reaction....good or bad....it weeds out stuck up biatches....either way it gets an emotional reaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9DkK06zZ_o
Frankie Boyle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGR8GN6U0yw
Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzb_p1mRW1M
A Jimmy Carr joke:
I'm a little sad today
Why?
It's approaching the aniversary of the death of my first wife..
oh really? jesus you were married?
yes, she was from Thailand
oh how did she die....yada yada?
testicular cancer (dead pan face)
Humour is essential in all aspects of life. After all, we all have to deal with the grande broma final...
watching stand up is brilliant in my opinion as it keeps you in a comedic state of mind. that been said I think it's essential to match your humour with your personality. it has to match your philosophy or else it comes across as contrived...
my two favorite comics are English and Scottish. Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. They take comedy to the edge and ....provoke!!!
I like to push things...it usually gets a reaction....good or bad....it weeds out stuck up biatches....either way it gets an emotional reaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9DkK06zZ_o
Frankie Boyle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGR8GN6U0yw
Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzb_p1mRW1M
A Jimmy Carr joke:
I'm a little sad today
Why?
It's approaching the aniversary of the death of my first wife..
oh really? jesus you were married?
yes, she was from Thailand
oh how did she die....yada yada?
testicular cancer (dead pan face)
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Hollowpoints
Banned
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- May 13, 2015
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MGTOW itself is a classic comedy routine. Contradict yourself on every occasion and pretend to go your own way while continuing to talk about what you arent going to do. Make MGTOW whatever you want it to be so when others call you out on your foolish hypocrisy it doesnt matter as you are a mgtow. :crackup:
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Bill Hicks was pretty great.
I dvr "The Half Hour" and "Comedy Underground" on Comedy Central. I like a lot of comedy central comedians, like Amy Schumer and Anthony Jesek. Rachael Feinstein has some good stuff, too. I caught the end of a Dane Cook special, and I even liked that, which surprised me.
And I know it's a really old movie, but Steve Martin's first film "The Jerk" is a hilarious classic. Steve Martin was so poor during the filming of the movie that he did not have a car that ran. Director Carl Reiner had to pick him up and give him rides to work.
I dvr "The Half Hour" and "Comedy Underground" on Comedy Central. I like a lot of comedy central comedians, like Amy Schumer and Anthony Jesek. Rachael Feinstein has some good stuff, too. I caught the end of a Dane Cook special, and I even liked that, which surprised me.
And I know it's a really old movie, but Steve Martin's first film "The Jerk" is a hilarious classic. Steve Martin was so poor during the filming of the movie that he did not have a car that ran. Director Carl Reiner had to pick him up and give him rides to work.
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whaa???? where's that comment coming from? do you need more laughter in your life? more hugs?Hollowpoints said:
Laugh pal
Father Ted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmfLS1hWO94
Black Books
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaeeCV8eRr4
The Office
blind date scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qk4d8lfTxk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPu_d4SSOPk
Extras (you're aware I'm gay?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVkgXX_YTiY
try watch this without laughing
Johnny Depp and Ricky Gervais
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0Cm6aOQR6o
The other side
I will add this...
comedy is cool once it's real. don't be afraid to feel all of your emotions. If you feel bad, you feel bad. I don't mean negative. I mean sometimes you will feel a little bad...express it. your feelings are neither right or wrong...they just are. when you express yourself your authentic. If she doesn't like it...**** her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpa9LtunUcg
I will add this...
comedy is cool once it's real. don't be afraid to feel all of your emotions. If you feel bad, you feel bad. I don't mean negative. I mean sometimes you will feel a little bad...express it. your feelings are neither right or wrong...they just are. when you express yourself your authentic. If she doesn't like it...**** her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpa9LtunUcg
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
If you want some funny shıt and to listen to a real alpha, subscribe to The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. Give it about 2 months, and tell me how you view the world after that. Always 100% truth spoken.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.