thelonewolflegend
Banned
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 876
- Reaction score
- 11
I was listening to some eddie murphy help gave ideas so wonder if anyone got insprations from?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
getting ideas for funny things to say standup comedians yall prefer?
- Thread starter thelonewolflegend
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
mr. kennedy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2012
- Messages
- 215
- Reaction score
- 21
Bill Burr
thelonewolflegend
Banned
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 876
- Reaction score
- 11
I heard a mgtow one heis good what else would listen?
This is a good topic...
Humour is essential in all aspects of life. After all, we all have to deal with the grande broma final...
watching stand up is brilliant in my opinion as it keeps you in a comedic state of mind. that been said I think it's essential to match your humour with your personality. it has to match your philosophy or else it comes across as contrived...
my two favorite comics are English and Scottish. Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. They take comedy to the edge and ....provoke!!!
I like to push things...it usually gets a reaction....good or bad....it weeds out stuck up biatches....either way it gets an emotional reaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9DkK06zZ_o
Frankie Boyle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGR8GN6U0yw
Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzb_p1mRW1M
A Jimmy Carr joke:
I'm a little sad today
Why?
It's approaching the aniversary of the death of my first wife..
oh really? jesus you were married?
yes, she was from Thailand
oh how did she die....yada yada?
testicular cancer (dead pan face)
Humour is essential in all aspects of life. After all, we all have to deal with the grande broma final...
watching stand up is brilliant in my opinion as it keeps you in a comedic state of mind. that been said I think it's essential to match your humour with your personality. it has to match your philosophy or else it comes across as contrived...
my two favorite comics are English and Scottish. Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. They take comedy to the edge and ....provoke!!!
I like to push things...it usually gets a reaction....good or bad....it weeds out stuck up biatches....either way it gets an emotional reaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9DkK06zZ_o
Frankie Boyle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGR8GN6U0yw
Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzb_p1mRW1M
A Jimmy Carr joke:
I'm a little sad today
Why?
It's approaching the aniversary of the death of my first wife..
oh really? jesus you were married?
yes, she was from Thailand
oh how did she die....yada yada?
testicular cancer (dead pan face)
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Hollowpoints
Banned
- Joined
- May 13, 2015
- Messages
- 55
- Reaction score
- 2
MGTOW itself is a classic comedy routine. Contradict yourself on every occasion and pretend to go your own way while continuing to talk about what you arent going to do. Make MGTOW whatever you want it to be so when others call you out on your foolish hypocrisy it doesnt matter as you are a mgtow. :crackup:
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Bill Hicks was pretty great.
I dvr "The Half Hour" and "Comedy Underground" on Comedy Central. I like a lot of comedy central comedians, like Amy Schumer and Anthony Jesek. Rachael Feinstein has some good stuff, too. I caught the end of a Dane Cook special, and I even liked that, which surprised me.
And I know it's a really old movie, but Steve Martin's first film "The Jerk" is a hilarious classic. Steve Martin was so poor during the filming of the movie that he did not have a car that ran. Director Carl Reiner had to pick him up and give him rides to work.
I dvr "The Half Hour" and "Comedy Underground" on Comedy Central. I like a lot of comedy central comedians, like Amy Schumer and Anthony Jesek. Rachael Feinstein has some good stuff, too. I caught the end of a Dane Cook special, and I even liked that, which surprised me.
And I know it's a really old movie, but Steve Martin's first film "The Jerk" is a hilarious classic. Steve Martin was so poor during the filming of the movie that he did not have a car that ran. Director Carl Reiner had to pick him up and give him rides to work.
Last edited:
whaa???? where's that comment coming from? do you need more laughter in your life? more hugs?Hollowpoints said:
Laugh pal
Father Ted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmfLS1hWO94
Black Books
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaeeCV8eRr4
The Office
blind date scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qk4d8lfTxk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPu_d4SSOPk
Extras (you're aware I'm gay?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVkgXX_YTiY
try watch this without laughing
Johnny Depp and Ricky Gervais
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0Cm6aOQR6o
The other side
I will add this...
comedy is cool once it's real. don't be afraid to feel all of your emotions. If you feel bad, you feel bad. I don't mean negative. I mean sometimes you will feel a little bad...express it. your feelings are neither right or wrong...they just are. when you express yourself your authentic. If she doesn't like it...**** her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpa9LtunUcg
I will add this...
comedy is cool once it's real. don't be afraid to feel all of your emotions. If you feel bad, you feel bad. I don't mean negative. I mean sometimes you will feel a little bad...express it. your feelings are neither right or wrong...they just are. when you express yourself your authentic. If she doesn't like it...**** her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpa9LtunUcg
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
If you want some funny shıt and to listen to a real alpha, subscribe to The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. Give it about 2 months, and tell me how you view the world after that. Always 100% truth spoken.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.