"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting her number through a friend

JimmyMack

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What do you guys think is the best way to do this:

I met a girl last night who works with one of my friends. We hit it off real well and I wanted to get her number but she was with a group of people when she said her good-byes and the situation didn't feel right for me. I feel confident that if I asked her to get together she would have been up for it, and I know I should have found a way to get her info.

Would it look bad if I got her number from my friend and called her? Or should I wait it out and try and run into her again around town and build from our first meeting?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Falcon25

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No one remembers how you got it, just get it. Anyway shape or form. Get the number. Stop worrying about how it looks. When she says something about it, say "Well, I go after what I want, no matter what it takes". Then, look down on her vagina area, and watch her clivt tingle for a few seconds.
 

jophil28

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Falcon25 said:
No one remembers how you got it, just get it. Anyway shape or form. Get the number. Stop worrying about how it looks. When she says something about it, say "Well, I go after what I want, no matter what it takes". Then, look down on her vagina area, and watch her clivt tingle for a few seconds.
Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination.
 

f283000

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Don't worry OP. It only makes you look creepy or wussy when you ask their friends for hb's phone# when you've already seen hb a lot of times and the only reason you haven't asked is cause you're afraid. That's when not just the friend but hb will think you're a chump with no ballz.
 

L B

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If you're optimistic about yourself, I would say you're resourceful in getting her number that way. Give her a call and be pleasantly surprise how happy she will be hearing from you.

If you're a negative person, just go dig a hole in the backyard and stick your head in there. It will make you look less "bad."
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Slickster

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samspade said:
Always better to confront directly and get the number from her in my opinion.

Own your sexuality, your interest in her, and your decisiveness. Risk rejection. One of the first ways to show a chick you have balls is to ask her for her number, to her face, no matter who is watching.
YES!! This reminds me of the time I asked a flirty cashier at the liquor store for her number with 2 or 3 dudes standing behind me in line. She said no and the guys laughed me right out of the store. I didn't care and actually laughed with them.

I don't know if I would ask a friend for her number unless there was almost no chance of ever seeing her again.

This is a good time for a reminder. ABC = Always Be Closing
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

survivorman

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"Falcon has it .

If she wants to see the OP again she will be pleased that he chased her down, perhaps even impressed with his determination."

~OR~

She'll think this is creepy and somewhat stalker-like. Could fall either way.

I'm siding with SamSpade on this one -- man up and risk being shot down in flames. Either way, you win - 'cause a coward dies a thousand deaths.

Ask me how I know..
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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squirrels

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Dude, next time, just say, "Hey we should hang out...what's your number?" If she's into you at ALL, she will give it to you.

As for getting it through a friend, it's weak-sauce, but if you don't have another way of meeting up with her, make sure she KNOWS it's YOU asking. Go to her friend and say, "Hey, I wanted to get xxx's number the other night and I completely forgot. Text her or something and ask her if I can have it.".

Don't let her friend just GIVE it to you...you want the target to KNOW that YOU are asking for it so YOU can call her. If you somehow acquire her number and call her without her having agreed to that arrangement, you WILL come off as a stalker.

The other alternative would be to have her text the friend with YOUR number...this would also work, since she would be giving you her number by texting YOU. But if you don't hear from her, then you would have to accept it as rejection.
 
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