"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Getting Frusterated, Thinking Bout Talking To Ex Again

joverby

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But anyways I just realized how difficult it is to actually find someone like me that I can connect with.(I know I'm being dramatic now after typing this out and posting some. I haven't given myself enough time / talked to enough chicks yet to formulate that opinion)

Just made me revalue my Ex a lot more.(Been broke up for like a week 1/2 maybe?) I've been fighting talking to her for a while now.

We had some reoccuring problems and on our last blow out(which I kind of had break up in mind anyway) she decided she didn't want to go out anymore. The night before she was getting drunk at a friends house w/ a small group of people for her best friends birthday and ignored my call, didn't even get ahold of me the next day. I had to call her later and she was hanging out w/ her best friend again.(Def sounds like low interest obv)

Come to think of it the only time she ever really blew me off like that or didn't bother to call back is when she was with her friend.

And of course she didn't call me becasue "she didn't have her phone". Even though she always does and absolutely freaks out if she doesn't have it. And when I mentioned her not getting back to me at all the next day, it was me playing a game, seeing if she would call. I just thought it was respectful. I actually gave her sh1t about this previously too.

Typing this out was actually a little theraputic for me. As it made me re-realize she's not perfect and I'm probably just all depressed / still having that lonely feeling. Though we did click on MANY levels I can't help but feel that it was some hot/cold interest level.(Even though she said it was in my head, makes me question myself)

Truth be told, at the end of the relationship it really wasn't the same anyway. I was kind of depressed around her(she noticed too) becasue I went to break up with her before. Over her intimacy issue.(Got molested when she was younger, would reject sex sometimes, didn't get wet right away the last two times anyway)

IDK I think maybe my biggest hang-up is thinking I made a mistake. That this sh1t was truly in my head and I just drove her away. Even though I know I should know better because I did catch her lying a few times to me. Actually the first time like 2 months into the relationship.

She ran into an old friend when we were at a park. They invited us to their house. On the way there I asked how she met that chick.(Becauset he girl invited her to her wedding and I hadn't even heard of her, thought it was weird) She said she didn't remember(I thought it was VERY weird)

So when me and her friends fiance were on the way to go get liquor I asked how they met. He told me he thought through an ex boyfriend of my girlfriend.(A long time ago too, why would she lie about that? I did call her out on this but ended up AFCing out. Pulled a huge b1tch move. She was cold to me the next day too)

A couple weeks or so after this she kept getting cold. I started the NC("game" don't use it as such, I was a noob) Tried calling her every other day for a few days. She ended up going to a concert with her best friend. The next day I got a hold of her, she was super cold. We ended up breaking up later that night, on her accord. Called her up a few hours later(we were both still really emotional, was a long break up) and got back together.

Later her best friend told me how they thought the lead singer was so hot.(A chick singer) and they were plotting how to go back stage and have a three-some with the lead singer. I later peiced this being around the cold peroid , thought it was strange.

She was also super resentful when her friend broke up with her boyfriend then got back together with him. IDK kind of started to think she was a lezzy with her best friend, or at least had a huge "crush" on her. Don't know if her friend had mutual feelings

The last time was about her not having her phone. Pretty positive I saw her update facebook sometime after ignoring my call that night. Another time about changing her relationship status on facebook.

There was also this other girl who she used to be "friends" with back in the day. I suspect more. Because she was super resentful, calling her a slvt and what not. I asked what she did to make her hate her so much. And got a "I don't remember"(Just like the first lie, how the fvck don't you remember?) Then changed to "a bunch of small sh1t" something like that.

Also refused to talk about anything when I could see something was bugging her and would get pissed off at me for prying. Even though she would do the same to me.

I think listing these negitives has helped me a lot. Not a lot of need to comment here but feel free. Some reinforcement is always nice though.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Mr Wright

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Mate just because you cant find someone else straight away it doesnt mean you should go running back to your ex...frankly it makes you look pathetic. Accept that learning this skills will take a long time and in the short run you will be frustrated. But if you really work at it, in the long run you wont look twice at your ex. Trust me.
 

joverby

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You're right, and I know deep down I can't/shouldn't contact her again. Which is why I haven't. Although I've been REALLY close a couple times.

But you're absolutely right, I was hoping someone would slap me around and wake me up a little.

Putting too much pressure on myself too soon. Especially considering I really wouldn't be ready for a relationship now anyway. Not saying I don't want to smash some pelvises though.
 

sinnerman

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hot and cold absolutely f's up your brain..anyways once you go NC theres nothing you can do until she calls you first. and most of the times the random chicks dont work as substitutes for the one you've lost. its ok..just spend time with them..practice your "skills" on them and don't go with an intention of getting into a relationship. hang in there and don't lose your self respect by calling her first.

all the best.
 

joverby

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Thanks sinnerman, I appreciate it. You're right; I'm sure alls it would do is cause me more pain / make me look pathetic in her eyes.

In fact I heard my ex joke w/ her best friend about her best friends ex saying something about crying with a teddy bear before. Harsness. I def don't want to be that guy.

I got a couple decent chicks on the side who would be really easy lays but I don't think I even want to. Might just go out this weekend with my buddy and try to run through some hood rats. I'll make a field report if anything interesting happens.

I do need to get a grip though, I even messaged an older ex on facebook seeing what was up.(AKA trying to set something up to bang her) She's hot but has a kid. Don't want to get involved with that again really.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ciel

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I only read the first line, please correct me if I'm mistaken.

But ****ing hell man go and meet girls outside. In the street, anywhere. Stop giving up just because the easiest, riskless option didn't work.
 

joverby

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I know that multiple paragraphs can look daunting but the rest of it isn't about that at all.

You have a point but I might as well delete that so people might feel more inclined to read more than one sentence.
 

Ciel

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I just assumed the rest of the post about your ex. Thats a no-brainer. NC.
 
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